Savage Claus & The Shy Rebel
by IAmAutumnDawn
Summary: Bella is working as a mall Elf when she becomes attracting to the most infuriating Santa ever.  What will she do when a quiet biker also catches her interest?  Who will she choose or, more importantly, who will choose her?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This story was originally intended to be an entry in the December 2010 "12 Days of Christmas" Contest hosted by the TwiGirls Next Door. Sadly, I missed the deadline. Therefore, it is posted here now simply for your reading pleasure. Be a dear and review often, would ya?**_

_**As always, a million hugs and kisses to my talented, dedicated, hard working Friend, Beta and Smut Dealer. It is with her help that this Florida girl has been able to write about a snowy winter wonderland and quote the intro to Disney's "Prince and the Pauper". Here's hoping that this year brings you a Savage Santa of your very own.**_

_**Approximately: 12 Pages/ 5, 488 Words**_

**Chapter 1**

I carried my costume to the nearest restroom to change before the start of my shift. It was a tradition – walking around as an elf was humiliating enough without having to wear the damn costume all the way from home.

As expected, the bathrooms were an absolute disaster. It always felt like I was on some twisted game show, each stall door revealing some new, revolting "prize".

_Let's see what's behind door number one!_

Yep – vomit. From the looks of it, some kid had attempted to inhale an entire hot dog in three bites without chewing, and topped it off with what I _hoped_ was fruit punch.

_Next!_

Aw, of course – the standard urine-all-over-the-toilet-seat crap. Performed by women everywhere who thought that the toilet seat was too disgusting to actually sit on. Little did they know that they were single-handedly _making_ the toilet seat too disgusting to sit on by urinating all over it.

_And so bathroom lore comes full circle._

Magical door number three held contents that surprised even me. It was almost enough to make me run back to Aro, quit my job and attempt to scrub myself clean at home.

I hated using the handicap stall; my parents had raised me with better manners than that. However, after my thorough inspection of the restroom, it seemed to be my last resort. It was as filthy as the rest of the stalls, but at least there was enough open space for me to avoid touching any contaminated surfaces.

I peeled off my skinny jeans and bulky pea-green sweater, hanging them on the purse hook provided behind the door. Then I gasped as I removed my costume from the bag.

_Surely there must be some kind of mistake!_

I had been working as a mall elf every Christmas since I was fourteen. It gave me something to do when I was off from school and helped me make a little cash (and I accentuate the word "little"). With the mall discount I also received, it was usually enough to help me buy the gifts I wanted to get for my family and friends.

Gift-giving was the best. I loved being creative and thoughtful about it; anxiously anticipating the look on someone's face as they caught the first glimpse of their present. Either my loved ones were all fantastic actors or I was a pretty good at it.

There had been a few changes to the elf costume over the past four years. The first year, the outfits were all non-gender specific: huge tunics, green tights and felt cut out to resemble elf shoes that fit neatly over my sneakers. The next year, the girls received shapeless, one-size-fits-all elf gowns and satin house slippers that had been dyed puke green.

Last year wasn't so bad. Instead of the itchy felt material they used previously, the top was a comfortable jersey material and the skirt was shiny and satiny. They left it up to us to get our own shoes, so I stuck with my slippers from the year before. Those outfits were sized appropriately and – if you have to be a mall elf – they were about as flattering as you were going to get.

But _this _year…it looked as if I was about to perform for Santa's All Nude Review! The top was form fitting with a curved neckline that dipped obscenely low; a tiny little bow accentuating my cleavage. The skirt was tattered and short enough to make a hooker blush. The green tights were replaced with sheer pantyhose, a candy motif running up the side of my leg and to top it all off, (yes, it gets worse) the shoes were elf stilettos!

_What the hell?_

Needing as much coverage as I could get, I pulled my heavy sweater on over the ensemble and gathered my things, ready to storm over to Aro's office and give him a piece of my mind.

It didn't escape my notice that, with my sweater on, it appeared I was wearing absolutely nothing underneath.

The leering, whistling and lewd remarks I encountered on the way to Aro's office only strengthened my resolve. I burst in through his door – my face, ears and chest flushed with anger and embarrassment – and threw my things down on his desk.

"What the fuck, Aro?" I demanded, gesturing up and down at my wardrobe.

He smirked, his eyes lighting up in interest. "Well, that hideous sweater's gotta go, but I like what I'm seeing! What do you think?"

I banged my fist on his desk, trying not to wince when it hurt because that would only mess up the bitchy vibe I was going for.

"Are you kidding me? At this rate, I'm going to break an ankle, get accosted by some juvenile delinquent or be arrested for public indecency by New Year's Eve!"

He chuckled as if I was some silly, amusing child. My anger was not eliciting the quaking fear I was hoping for.

"I've always loved your fire, Isabella. That's why I'm making you Head Elf this year." He leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands on his desk casually.

_Well I hadn't seen that coming! _

_Keep your head on straight, Bells…_

"Seriously, Aro, I'm thinking about walking. This outfit is ridiculous and completely inappropriate..." As I started my rant, he opened the center drawer of his desk, pulling out a Christmassy looking envelope and closing the drawer as he leaned over to present it to me.

"You've been here three years so you know the basic responsibilities as Head Elf." He interrupted me as if I hadn't even been talking. "Keep the area neat and clean, be the first to respond to temper tantrums and customer complaints, protect Santa at all costs, supervise the others and keep track of all lunches and breaks. The usual."

I was dumbstruck.

"Aro, how do you expect me to get respect from anybody in this outfit? I look like a skank!" My voice was losing its bite as I suddenly found myself on the verge of tears. He nodded with his nose towards the unopened envelope in my hands.

With shaky hands, I slid one finger under the flap and proceeded to tear the envelope open along the top seam. Inside was my first paycheck and schedule. As Head Elf, he doubled my hourly pay and he already had me scheduled to work thirty hours a week. This would not only pull me through Christmas, but would set me up for all of the senior activities that were coming my way next spring.

"Despite what you may think, Isabella, I respect you plenty and it has never had a thing to do with what you were wearing. We've tried to keep the whole Santa experience modest and wholesome, but times are changing and people are bored with it. Business has deteriorated the last three years and desperate times call for desperate measures. So, Santa stays wholesome for the kiddies, and the elves," he smirked, that glint once again sparkling in his dark eyes, "well, they're here to attract the people with the money. I'm sure you look absolutely fantastic and people will respect you because you are a hardworking, intelligent, dignified woman – despite the costume. The outfit will only look as skanky as you let it. Hold your head up high, wear it with pride and I promise you, people will be thinking more along the lines of 'sexy beauty' than 'easy hoe'."

I peeled off the sweater and stored my things in my locker, inspecting myself in the full length mirror one more time before heading over to the North Pole setup. The form-fitting, curve-hugging outfit was most definitely outside of my comfort zone and I'd have to be extremely careful about bending over to pick things up or talk to the kids…but I had to admit that I was starting to feel truly sexy for the very first time in my eighteen years.

I giggled to myself as I realized I had just been thoroughly mind-fucked by Aro.

_Damn he's good! That guy could sell ice to Eskimos!_

I was the first one to arrive at the station, so I busied myself setting up the velvet ropes for the line, trying to ignore my constricting ensemble and not focus on the fact that I was going to have blisters by the time my shift was through.

"Hello Ho!" A voice crooned behind me as a gloved hand caressed up between the back of my thighs. I tugged my skirt down ineffectively to cover my behind as I spun around, fired up to give Waylon a piece of my mind.

"Listen, Butt-Crack Santa…" I fumed as my eyes settled on a pair of blazing emerald eyes.

This was not Waylon.

"Who the hell are you?"

The stranger crooked an eyebrow from beneath his white wig, the apples of his cheeks scrunching up behind the white beard and his eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Why, I'm Santa – can't you tell?" He leaned into me, a gloved hand coming up to cover one side of his bearded mouth conspiratorially. "And if you'll be nice, I'll be naughty." He straightened up with a wink.

This guy was an absolute piece of work, but I was having trouble getting a good enough breath to tell him that.

I swallowed, attempting to calm my sudden nerves. "Listen, I don't know who you think you are, but if you ever lay a hand on me again, I will slap you with sexual harassment charges and have you kicked out on your ass faster than you can say 'Ho Ho Ho'. Got me, _Santa_?"

Although I couldn't clearly see his mouth through the white fluff, it appeared as if he pursed his lips, his eyes glistening as he glanced down at my exposed cleavage. "Sorry, guess I was mistaken…looks like I meant to put you on the naughty list." He smiled mischievously. "But don't worry, I have something _much _better than coal for you, and it'll definitely keep you warm at night."

I don't know what made me more furious – the way he was talking to and looking at me, or the way my body was responding to it.

I wanted to be witty and put him in his place. I wanted to give him a thorough tongue lashing for his rude and crude behavior…but the thought of tongue lashing made my body overheat and got me all tongue tied, so I settled for giving him a death glare instead. I gritted my teeth, struggling against my body's natural response.

I decided to take that opportunity to try and step into my new role. "Listen up. I am your supervisor. I expect you to behave professionally at all times and treat me and everyone else with respect and decency. There are a lot of people looking for work right now – plenty of whom would gladly step into that suit to make a few extra bucks, so don't push me or I _will_ push back. Get into that chair now and get ready to smile for the kids. You will work for two hours before getting a fifteen minute break and you will behave with a professional sense of decorum at all times. Do I make myself clear?"

I had been prone to fits of rage before, but I never knew I could be quite like that. I was standing in the middle of a winter wonderland in a skimpy elf outfit telling off a horny Santa Claus, and yet I had never felt more confident and in control.

In control of everything except for my body and hormones, which were still behaving erratically against my will.

_How is telling off Santa turning me on?_

With another panty dropping look of his green eyes, he mumbled an appreciative and suggestive "Yes Ma'am" before climbing the steps to the large throne-style chair in the middle of the platform.

What Aro had neglected to tell me was that not only was I the Supervisor this year, but I was also the only female on the team besides a tiny, young, hyperactive newcomer named Alice. Her costume matched mine, except that the neckline was more modest, the skirt covered much more on her petite frame and she had elf pumps instead of three inch spiked heels. Given that she was only fourteen, the ensemble was tasteful and cute and she seemed to feel pretty cocky about the way she looked.

Jacob came back again this year. He had started the same year I had and we had been friends ever since. Apparently, the older elves we had worked with over the years had all grown up and moved on to college and full time jobs, leaving Jake and I the only two veterans. For this reason, he would be second in charge so that there would be at least one veteran on hand for every shift.

I cracked up laughing when Jake walked out with a look of pure humiliation on his face. He had easily shot up a foot since we last worked together and the tight green shirt accentuated the broad shoulders and muscled physique he had worked hard to develop over the past twelve months. Somehow, Aro felt that the guys could pull off blue jeans with their costumes. I had to admit that I was terribly jealous, even if the red belt he forced them to wear with it looked pretty gay.

"Geez, Jake! Did you leave that shirt in the dryer too long?" I snorted through giggles. He cocked his head to the side with a sarcastic grin. Suddenly, his eyes lit up as he formulated his witty response.

"I don't know, Elf-vira - Looks like we must have grabbed clothes from the same dryer! At least my jeans still fit…"

I put my hands on his trim waist and spun him around, eyeing him freely. "And they make your ass look fantastic!" I teased.

I giggled as he clenched his butt cheeks, making his denim-clad ass bounce up and down. "Oh, you like that?" He laughed, spinning around to show me he could do the same thing with his pecs. "Pow-Pow!" He joked as the muscles jiggled.

Santa snorted from behind us. "If he gives you tickets to the 'gun-show', I'm outta here." He said snidely.

I rolled my eyes at Santa and turned back to Jake, my hands clasped together as if in prayer. "Please give me tickets to the gun show! _Pleeease_ give me tickets to the gun show!" I peeked back at Santa over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out to further my point.

Since he hadn't been there for my previous exchange with Santa, he thought I was seriously flirting with him.

_Poor, clueless, muscled Jake._

Santa continued with the innuendos, but he wisely kept his hands to himself.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out why that was disappointing.

ooo (*o*) ooo

I had the next day off and I returned to work the day after that to find that Waylon was back as Santa Claus. I tried to tell myself that it was disheartening only because Waylon was such a sad man. He had a wonderful heart and a kind soul, but his addiction always left the alcoholic a little out of sorts and he reeked of fish due to his full time job at the marina.

My heart went out to him. He really was a sweetheart, but he had been caught acting inappropriately on more than one occasion while under the influence. That's why I easily assumed it was his hand that wandered up my thigh the first day.

As the Chief of Police, my dad has taken Waylon into holding on numerous occasions over the years, waiting through the night for him to sober up. He had yet to break any laws, but part of me wondered how much that had to do with Dad locking him up for his own good.

With Christmas five weeks away, it was still pretty dead at the mall. The slow traffic gave me a chance to get to know the two other guys I would be working with for the season.

Jasper was a lanky kid, only fifteen. His family had just moved to Port Angeles from Texas, as was evident by his subtle drawl. Although he wore the same costume, it didn't cling to him in nearly the same way that it did Jake. He was pretty tall, but puberty had yet to bless him with a man's physique, instead cursing him to spend the holidays in that awkward man-boy stage. He had the cutest habit of talking out of one side of his mouth and he had this cocky little sideways smirk that was sure to melt some hearts.

On the other hand, Emmett was a behemoth of a man who dwarfed even Jake. His black, cropped hair sat above a handsome face with a square set jaw. The green fabric of his shirt stretched painstakingly over his shoulders, making me imagine that he might rip it apart at the seams like the Incredible Hulk. With his gargantuan size and devastatingly good looks, he was definitely an eye catcher, but coupled with two of the most adorable dimples I had ever seen and the warmest, friendliest most lovable personality a guy could have and he was absolutely irresistible.

Looking at our team – younger and older, cute and sexy, pretty and handsome – I couldn't help but think that Aro definitely knew what he was doing. Alice and Jasper were sure to draw in the teens and Jacob and Emmett were going to have the ladies wrapped around their fingers. I didn't normally think much of myself, but in an outfit this revealing, I didn't have to be a supermodel to get the guy's attention.

ooo (*o*) ooo

"OMG Bella!" Alice shrieked, grabbing me hastily by the wrist and pulling me behind Santa's workshop excitedly.

"Did you really just say 'OMG', Alice? You know that something you're supposed to write, right? I don't think it's actually meant to be exclaimed in conversation…" I rambled on, wondering how fourteen suddenly seemed so very, very childish to me.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay. Yeah. Whatever. Did you see that guy?" Her eyes danced giddily.

"We're in a mall during the holidays. There's tons of guys. You're going to have to be more specific, Ali."

She pulled me to peek around the corner where I saw Jasper joking around with green-eyed Santa. "The hottie talking to Santa!" She clarified before quickly pulling me back behind the cover of the workshop.

I smiled at her warmly, remembering what it was like back in the day when I was the giddy, shy elf behind the workshop. "That's Jasper, Ali. He works with us. Why don't you go say hi?" I prodded encouragingly.

"Are you kidding me?" Her obsidian eyes grew large and her jaw dropped as if I had just suggested she ask to mother his children.

"Ali, you two are coworkers. It's natural for you to talk to each other. Just say hi and ask him how he's liking it so far. He's a sweetheart and you'll probably find that you two have a lot in common. It's easy." I assured her.

"If it's so easy, why are you avoiding Santa?" She quipped.

Damn, she was an observant little thing.

"That's different. I'm avoiding Santa for entirely different reasons." I explained.

"That's bullshit." My mouth dropped at hearing the expletive coming from her tiny, cute little mouth. "Oh, c'mon Bella. I'm fourteen…I'm not a little kid. Of course I cuss." I was completely dumbfounded by her. "You've got the hots for Santa – admit it."

"Do not!" I argued, suddenly feeling like the tables had been turned between us.

"Oh, c'mon! Whenever he looks at you, you pout or glare and turn away, but the moment he's not looking, you start staring at him again. It's obvious!"

_Damn, really? I hadn't realized…_

"Hey Bella!" Jasper said as he rounded the corner, almost bumping into us. "Oh, sorry…didn't mean to interrupt…" One look at Alice and his face flushed as he started to stammer.

"Actually, I was just about to show Alice where we keep the candy canes. We're running low. Would you mind taking her to the stock room and helping her carry out a few boxes? You can just drop them off inside the workshop." I smiled at him.

Alice was about to argue with me, seeing as how we had just pulled out seven boxes less than thirty minutes ago, but a quick, tightlipped glare from me shut her up.

Jasper dropped his head and rubbed a hand behind his neck nervously. "Oh, yeah…um…sure." Without looking at either of us, he turned around stiffly and began stumbling off to the store room. Alice glared at me, but I smiled and gave her a thumbs up signal.

"Go talk to Santa or I'll embarrass you too!" She threatened, folding her arms across her chest and scurrying off to catch up with Jasper.

I giggled at her, watching as the two of them walked off uncomfortably side-by-side. I couldn't wait till they figured out that the attraction was mutual.

_Awww, young love…._

The fifteen minute break was almost up, so I turned around to head back to the line and get ready to reopen, finding myself nearly inhaling Santa's white beard. I flustered, pushing at his chest to distance myself from him. "What they hell are you doing?" I gritted through clenched teeth as my lungs constricted painfully.

Green eyes stepped toward me, forcing me backwards until the workshop pressed up behind me. With red velvet and a fake Santa belly pressed up against me, he placed a gloved hand on either side of my shoulders, eyes of fire peering down into mine. "I've got a 'package' _just_ for you…Wanna see it?"

All I could see were those damned eyes. Everything else was white and fluffy or red and fuzzy. He could be old and fat for all I knew. I didn't know the first thing about him except that he was a mall Santa and that he was absolutely incapable of respecting me or acting professionally. I didn't even know his damned name and yet, every stupid little thing he said and did set molten lava coursing through my veins.

I wanted to spew venom. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to push him away angrily and storm off because, in reality, I also wanted to tear off that damned beard and kiss him and that was wrong on more levels than I could possibly fathom.

Instead, I swallowed, my eyes burning into him with all the hatred and anger I could muster. "Fuck you." I seethed.

He leaned forward, that stupid belly pressing into mine as he lowered his fluff-covered lips to my ear. "I appreciate the offer, but I have to get back to work." He stood up, removing his hands from the wall to straighten up his jacket and belt as he cocked an eyebrow at me. "Perhaps after my shift?" He teased confidently before striding back up the steps to take his position on the chair.

_Dear Mother of God, I have the hots for the Santa from hell._

ooo (*o*) ooo

I have several theories as to why they call it Black Friday. Perhaps it is because it was black outside when I went in to work today and it was black outside when I got out. Or, maybe it's Black Friday because people are mourning the loss of their sanity and civility.

Yeah, that had to be it, because there was absolutely nothing sane or civil about the animals that tore through the mall today. Children screamed and cried in unison, as did a few grown men. Fights broke out, hair was pulled, security was called. Somehow, between "Happy Thanksgiving" and "Merry Christmas", a retail inspired holiday was born where the common verbal exchange is "Move out of my way, bitch".

Forget Halloween – Black Friday is the scariest freaking day of the year.

In preparing for such, Aro had all hands on deck today, including both Santas.

I thought I might get a glimpse of Green Eyes' face when a kid got a tootsie pop stuck in his beard, but Jake managed to cut it out quickly without having to remove the white fluff from his face. I tried to ignore the way my stomach dropped dishearteningly.

It was so crazy and hectic that Green Eyes didn't even have time to harass me as usual. It disturbs me to admit that I'm actually starting to look forward to it.

"Bells, a few of us are talking about going out to get a bite to eat after work. You're coming, right?" Jake asked, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"I don't know, Jake. I'm exhausted and I have to work tomorrow." I pouted.

"You still have to eat. What's the difference if you do it at the chief's house or with a bunch of crazy, scantily clad elves?" He teased, his brilliant smile warming his face.

"Who's going?" I asked, one eyebrow cocked warily. "Me, Jazz, Em…Jazz wants to ask Alice, but he doesn't have the nerve." He shook his head and laughed, loving their little budding romance as much as I was.

"Okay, I'm in. And _I'll_ bring Ali." I grinned.

"Brilliant!" He wrapped his huge arms around me, squeezing me tightly and kissing me on the cheek. "I can't wait to tell Jazz. The little guy will probably cream his pants!"

"Ew!" I slapped Jake on the arm. "That's gross, Jacob! They're only kids!"

He grinned a devilish smile. "You don't know much about teenage boys, Bella. Trust me…I speak the truth."

I placed both of my hands on his firm chest and shoved him as hard as I could, laughing all the while. Of course he hardly budged beneath my feeble attempt, but that was beside the point.

Anxious to avoid the crowds, we chose to hang out at a local diner, claiming a little, rounded corner booth as our own. Jacob and I worked in tandem to play matchmaker, each ushering Alice and Jasper into different sides, only to scoot in beside them so that they ended up smooshed together in the center.

A distracted, leggy blonde walked over to our table to take our orders, chewing absentmindedly on the end of her pen. Jake and I beamed with pride when Alice and Jasper agreed to share a side of fries. Images of Lady and the Tramp kissing over a shared noodle flooded my mind as Alice shot me a look, telling me to cool it. Meanwhile, Emmett was suddenly grinning from ear to ear like a simpleton, dimples skewering his face. The blonde was so focused on writing down our orders that she had yet to look up at us. At least, not until she got to Emmett.

"How about you look up from that notepad for a minute and let me see that pretty face of yours?" Em flirted.

She huffed indignantly, blowing up her bangs as she rolled her eyes, obviously bored with the usual one-liners. Her attitude stuttered for a brief moment when she got her first look at the big guy, but she quickly recovered. "Yeah. Pretty face. Real original. You gonna order, or not?" She snapped.

Emmett sucked in air through his teeth. "Ouch! I'm hurt…I mean, really hurt!" He turned his arms over towards Jake, who was sitting beside him. "Am I bleeding, man? I can't look…Seriously, how bad is it?"

The blonde bit back a smile, struggling against his charms.

She repeated our orders, pointing to each of us as she went along. "So I have one house salad with ranch dressing, two burgers with a side of fries, country fried steak with mashed potatoes-" She bit her lip, fighting the urge to smile as she pointed to Emmett. "And a load of crap with a bandaid on the side." She finally smiled, attempting to make it look more pained than it really was "Is that all?"

Emmett held one finger up in the air to pause her. "Actually, do you have any diet crap?" He gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up to flash his abs at her. "I'm trying to watch my figure, you know." He teased, running his large hands over his six pack as if he were caressing a beer belly.

She bit her lip, allowing her eyes to meet his for the first time. I didn't want to ruin the moment or I would have asked for a knife to try to cut the tension with.

As soon as the blonde strutted off towards the kitchen with a little more swagger in her walk, a guy walked in looking terribly out of place, dressed in black from head to toe. He wore boots, jeans with a studded black belt and a silver wallet chain, and a plain tee. His left wrist sported a black leather cuff and the right wrist had a studded band that matched his belt, along with a bracelet made of large silver beads. Bronze, copper and gold hair stood up on end in a haphazard fashion.

I had never seen anyone like him and yet, the moment I laid eyes on him, my thighs instinctively squeezed together to ease the building ache.

He ran long, slender fingers through the riot atop his head, looking around the diner until he spotted us. "Edward, over here!" Emmett waved him over, gesturing towards the empty seat beside me.

My palms suddenly felt sweaty. I looked at Jake when I felt his worried gaze on my face. "What's the matter?" He mouthed silently. I merely shook my head.

Alice placed a hand on my knee, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "Bella, close your mouth or you're gonna catch a fly." I attempted to stare the little sprite down, but she only giggled.

The moment the stranger sat next to me, my entire body flushed with his engulfing heat. He smelled clean and his cologne was absolutely intoxicating. I swore that I would find out what he was wearing and wash my sheets in it, certain that falling asleep to that smell would ensure that only good dreams were to follow.

"Hey Blondie!" Emmett bellowed over to where our waitress was standing behind the counter. "Another load of crap for my friend here, but not the diet stuff. He's too skinny as it is…" Emmett flashed a little boy smile at his friend, who surprisingly blushed before hiding his face in his hands.

_What kind of bad ass blushes and hides his face?_

Somehow, the contrast of denim and leather with quiet humiliation only made him more appealing.

When the waitress brought out our food, we all laughed at Emmett's plate. She had taken what appeared to be chocolate cake and mashed it up, designing it so that it literally resembled a steaming pile of crap with ice cream on the side. "Crap a la mode." She announced with a flourish.

Emmett clapped as he guffawed loudly. "I love it!" He couldn't have been any more smitten with the vixen. She then surprised us all by taking some Hershey's syrup and writing her name and number along the edge of the plate.

Alice and Jasper giggled through the meal as they continued to simultaneously reach down to grab the same French fry. Jasper, ever the gentlemen, always leaned back to allow Alice to take the fry first, which made her absolutely radiant.

Edward didn't say much at all, but the fact that he was a leftie and I was rightie caused us to bump elbows quite a few times. We would share little sideways glances and shy smiles at first, and then he caught me completely off guard when he picked up his fork and stole one of my croutons.

"Hey!" I shouted playfully, a look of wide-eyed surprise on my face.

"That was mine. It had my name on it. They must have given it to you by accident." He shrugged. "Happens all the time."

It was the most he had said in the entire forty five minutes we'd been seated together, and it sounded like music to my ears.

I speared one of his French fries and quickly popped it into my mouth, not realizing until it was too late that it was more than bitesized.

"S'mine." I mumbled as I chewed the potato, grinning despite the mouth full of food.

He laughed quietly and my chest swelled at the way his eyes sparkled and scrunched with the sincerity of his delight.

Have I ever mentioned that Black Friday is my favorite day of the year?

_**A/N: I've had a couple reviewers claim that they have issues with Alice working at the age of 14. With certain exceptions (driving, serving alcohol, etc), it is legal for a 14 year old to work in the United States. You can read more about the law at** __**www(dot)groovejob(dot)com/resources/teen-job-resources/jobs-for-teens-legal-stuff(dot)html. **_

_**A/N: If you have any qualms about Alice and Jasper being attracted to each other at the age of 14 & 15, I also know quite a few 14 & 15 year olds you can speak to for confirmation that it does happen, whether adults like it or not. Fear not, our little ones will not do anything tasteless - they're just a couple of cute kids with a crush. :o)  
**_

_**A/N: On the first day of Christmas my readers gave to me: A review that filled me with glee…**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Approximately: 21 Pages/ 9,809 Words **_

**Chapter 2**

The mall was absolutely dead all day Saturday. I guessed most people were at home trying to recover from their turkey and cranberry induced coma or proudly nursing their wounds from running the Black Friday gauntlet. Either way, it left Green Eyes plenty of time to harass me.

And, well…you already know how I feel about _that._

By seven o'clock, the mall was an absolute ghost town. In my mind, I imagined tumbleweeds rolling down the deserted walkways.

I noticed that Jasper had frequently taken to chatting with Green Eyes – a fact that disturbed me to no end. The last thing the young, polite, sweet southerner needed was to pick up that jackass' bad habits.

However, with Alice as my constant companion and not another soul in sight, I couldn't begrudge him socializing wherever he could.

Despite the progress the two made at the diner the other night, the shy couple still seemed incapable of speaking unless a third or fourth person was involved.

We weren't set to close the stand for another hour, but I didn't see us making enough money within that time to merit what Aro would have to pay all four of us, so I suggested that we close down early. With my sound logic, he agreed without a fight.

"Alright, everyone…" I clapped my hands as I wandered toward the center of the kiosk, motioning everyone together. "We're going to go ahead and call it a night. Jasper, round up the stands and velvet ropes please. Ali, go ahead and pick up the locks from Aro's office and start closing up the register and workshop."

As they scurried off to take care of their tasks, Santa sauntered over to me like a yuletide John Wayne.

It was actually kind of funny, but I refused to laugh.

He sidled up close to me, wrapping one gloved hand around my waist. "Ooooh, I get it. Good idea – distract the kids so I can light up your bush…." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"No, I was actually sending them away so they don't have to see me punch you in the groin if you don't get your damned hands off of me." I seethed.

He laughed, shaking his head merrily. "Geez, just can't wait to get your hands on my Yule log, huh?"

"You're such a pig…" I spat, grabbing his wrist to throw his arm off of me as I stormed off into Aro's office.

"What'd he do this time?" Alice asked, sounding exasperated.

"Same old shit, different day." I muttered, grabbing the cash box so that I could empty out the register and balance the cash for the night.

"Hey, they just opened up a new ice cream shop near the Jenny Craig center. My mom's not coming to pick me up till 8:30…Wanna share a sundae when we get done here?" She perked up at the idea.

"Sure, Ali – that sounds great. I could use a little indulgence." I smiled at her, trying to squelch my increasing bad mood.

She skipped out of the office happily as I looked around to gather the account log, deposit bag, money bands and deposit slip.

Just as I struggled through Aro's office door with my arms full, I noticed the neglected ropes lying in a haphazard pile on the floor.

"Hey, Ali – my arms are full. Can you take the ropes to the store room, please? Looks like Jasper forgot them."

"Sure thing, Bells!" She lithely dropped the locks off on the counter before racing around to gather the ropes and skip off, probably anxious to have a "surprise" run in with Jasper.

I giggled at their naivety until I heard Alice screech from the other side of our display. "OMG! Bella, come quick!"

My heart leapt into my throat as I raced through the wonderland setup, dumping the things in Santa's empty chair before vaulting over the stand towards the supply closet. Alice knelt in front of the door, her body keeping it open as she frantically attempted to untangle Jasper from strands of Christmas lights. I ran in, quickly attempting to help.

He was lying on the floor, his face crimson with a humiliation that tore at my heart. "Jasper! What happened?" I squeaked as my fingers struggled to find rhyme or reason to the tangled mess. There had to be at least three strands of lights wrapped around his thin body.

Without saying a word, Jasper peered around me, quickly averting his gaze when he realized I was following it.

There, doubled over in a hysterical fit of laughter, was Evil Claus.

I had heard the saying "seeing red" before, but never had I experienced it for myself.

"Ali, I know I told you I'd join you for some ice cream, but I need to take care of some stuff. Are you okay here?

Messing with me was one thing, but physically assaulting a young, shy kid and leaving him for the object of his affection to find had absolutely crossed the line.

"Sure, Bella. I think I've figured out how to un-knot it." Her lips were pursed in concentration as she stared down at the red-faced teen.

"Cool. Then, when you're finished, why don't you two go check out that ice cream place and I'll worry about closing shop for the night, okay?"

Alice nodded sadly, obviously heartbroken for Jasper. Meanwhile, Jasper simply reddened even more, closing his eyes and turning his face away so that he wouldn't have to see the sympathy in our faces.

In retrospect, I should have kept my cool and stayed by their sides to help free Jasper, but I was so livid that I couldn't seem to think straight. I stormed over to the demonic elf, channeling the strength and rage of a charging bull. My palms slammed square against his chest, pushing so roughly that I managed to knock the six foot man off balance.

Although I had never seen his face, I had learned to read his eyes and I knew, beneath that fluffy white beard, that he was smirking at me. "Oooh…I should have guessed you like it rough."

"What the _hell_ is _wrong_ with you?" I roared, thankful that there were no shoppers around to witness our little drama.

"Aww, c'mon, you can't tell me that wasn't funny." He teased lightheartedly.

I folded my arms tightly across my chest to resist the overwhelming urge to beat him to a pulp. "You are one sick bastard, you know that? If Aro knew about this, you would find yourself jobless and begging for change…"

His large hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him as his voice dropped low and sultry. "Yeah, but you and I both know you're not gonna tell him, because you like the foreplay as much as I do."

I was painfully aware of the needful yearning knotting in my stomach as his hands slid around my back and further down to squeeze my ass. Then, without a conscious thought to do so, my hand flew at his face, hitting him square on his cheek. The thick beard softened the blow significantly and, although I hadn't planned to do it, I found that I seriously missed the delightful smacking sound that a slap was expected to make. As it was, the responding look in his eye was not angry, pained or humiliated. Instead, there was a hunger there that corresponded directly to the building ache in my belly.

"Ugh!" I huffed, pushing away from him to storm into Aro's office, slamming the door behind me. "We need to talk!" I demanded, plopping down in the chair across from him and folding my arms across my chest once more.

"Isabella?" He stared at me inquisitively. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"That monster you hired to play Santa is an absolute asshole. Alice is kneeling down in the supply closet right now to untie one of your employees from strand upon strand of Christmas lights because that dickhead thought it would be a hoot to pick on someone smaller than him." My jaw was beginning to ache from how tightly I had it clenched.

"Is that all he's done?" Aro asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean 'Is that all he's done?' Isn't that enough? What more do you want?"

"Of course, that's highly inappropriate and uncalled for, but you know as well as anyone that there are always a few pranks pulled this time of year. As long as there was no serious damage done…" He pursed his lips as he shrugged, attempting to decode how serious the matter was.

"Aro, I'm telling you – the guy's a jerk!" I felt unwanted tears pricking at my eyes and it only worked to piss me off more.

"So there's more? Isabella, you're the supervisor. I told you in the beginning, conflict resolution is part of your job."

"But I've tried talking to the guy and it gets me nowhere! He's cocky and rude and absolutely infuriating…" My teeth were now gritting against each other as I spoke.

"I made you supervisor because I trust your judgment. If you honestly feel this guy is more trouble than he's worth, then I need to let him go. I'm sure Waylon can pick up a couple of extra shifts until I find someone to replace him…"

"No!" I shouted out, suddenly panicked for reasons I couldn't even begin to explain.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Aro's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

I couldn't blame him, I was pretty freaking confused myself.

"Maybe…maybe he's just a joker and he took it too far. I don't know. I just…can't you talk to him? Lay down the law a little bit? Maybe if he realizes that you will back me up if need be, maybe that will be enough to scare him straight." I bit my lip, not understanding why I was suddenly pleading on his behalf.

Aro was looking at me like I had three heads.

"I'm new at this supervisor stuff, and it wasn't like you gave me a whole lot of training or prep time. I'm sure I have a lot to learn when it comes to management, I just need to get him in line and I need your help to do it." I took a deep breath as I realized that the rage had washed completely out of me. "It's the holidays, Aro. I'm not ready to be the one responsible for making someone lose their job."

"If his behavior warrants termination, then that would make _him _the one responsible for losing his job; not you." He clarified.

"Just talk to him, would you? If he doesn't get his act together after that…I'll let you know." My transition from angry tirade to shameless begging was a paradox that not even I could explain.

Aro nodded his head solemnly, scrutinizing my every move as if he was still struggling to figure me out. "Send him in."

I released a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding as I slowly rose from the chair. "Thank you, Aro." I said in a small, humbled voice.

The corner of his mouth turned up in a gentle smile. "You're welcome, Isabella."

My legs were heavy, my entire body lethargic as I trudged out of his office toward the kiosk. I felt like a freight train that had suddenly used up all of it's steam, slowly grinding to a halt on the tracks, despite every effort to push on.

Evil Claus stared at me as I trudged right by him, not even bothering to make eye contact. "Aro wants to see you."

His arm shot out in front of me, hooking around with his hand clasping onto my hip. "I'm impressed. I was starting to think you were all bark and no bite." He leaned down towards me, his warm breath misting against my ear. "And sometimes, the biting's the best part."

The knot tightened in my belly, my frayed nerves firing mixed signals throughout my body. I was too tired to even try to process it all, so I simply pulled out of his reach and continued on my journey toward our winter wonderland without bothering to reply.

I don't remember a thing about closing up, but sure enough, the next thing I knew I had locked each and every cabinet and door, counted and recounted our sales for the day and thoroughly completed all of the required paperwork. I dragged my feet as I walked towards Aro's office to turn everything in.

Just as I reached for the handle, the door flew open to reveal Aro with his arm comfortably around Evil Claus' shoulders as the two men laughed boisterously.

I walked with a renewed sense of vigor as my resentment bubbled to the surface and overflowed. I pushed past the two bosom buddies, anxious to drop everything off so that I could just focus on getting out of this damn hell-hole.

A moment later, without turning around, I could sense Aro's presence as he reentered the room.

"Isabella – sit down." I glared at the traitor, seething as I once again sulked into the chair, my arms folded defiantly and my face flushed with anger.

"What exactly did you see happen?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes indignantly. "I told you, that monster tied up poor Jasper in Christmas lights and left him on the floor of the supply room for Alice and I to find."

"And you _saw_ him do this?" Aro took his seat, his hands pitched together on top of his desk like a principal preparing to correct a small child.

I huffed again. "No, of course not. You think if I saw him doing it, I would have just sat by and watched?"

_That's right. Ask a stupid question and you'll get a stupid answer._

"Let's try this again. What did you _actually see_ happen?"

I let out yet another exasperated sigh, feeling like I was struggling to speak to a senile old man. "I was walking out towards the set carrying the cash box and supplies when Alice called me over. I put everything down and ran over to find her kneeling beside Jasper, who was lying on the store room floor looking absolutely humiliated, tied up from head to toe in Christmas lights."

"And then what happened?" He prompted.

"I asked Jasper what happened and he told me that jackass tied him up!" I threw my hands up in the air in frustration.

"What were his exact words?"

I thought carefully for a moment, blushing when I realized that Jazz had never actually said anything.

"Well, he was too embarrassed to talk, so he just looked over my shoulder. When I followed his gaze, that was when I saw that douche bag cracking up laughing, not even bothering to help. Excuse me if I was smart enough to put two-and-two together without a written statement." My sarcasm was weak, more a defensive response than true anger.

"What happened next?" Aro patiently prodded me.

As I thought back on the events, I could see the many ways I had messed the whole thing up. Therefore, I may have skimped on some of the details at this point.

"I confronted _Santa_ and he told me he thought it was funny."

"Did he ever confirm or deny that he did it."

For some reason, I was still reluctant to discuss the constant sexual harassment, so I answered with a simple "No."

"And did you ask for any clarification on the matter?"

This whole fucking night has just gone terribly wrong. I was supposed to get out early, share an ice cream sundae and be climbing into a hot shower by this point in time. Instead, I was suddenly a bumbling, idiot supervisor. The damn tears threatened once again, but I shook my head to clear the overwhelming emotion.

Aro took that as another no.

"As I've said before, I like your fire, Isabella. You have a good heart and you're a fierce defender of what you feel is right. I love that about you. However, it is true that you have a lot to learn about being a supervisor and I suppose you were right in saying that I should have given you more thorough training. For now, suffice it to say that it is important to keep a clear head in situations such as these, especially among employee conflicts. You don't want to be seen as taking sides unless you are sure that you have calmly and clearly gathered all the details.

"When you take a step back and look at the situation, it's quite amusing, really. Are you aware that Jasper has a little crush on our Alice?"

I snorted without humor. "Yeah, I may have had an inkling about that…"

"Well, it appears that Jasper had his own request of Santa Claus this evening. His request was simple – he wanted advice on how to get the girl." Aro smiled warmly, his eyes lighting up the same way the rest of ours did when we talked about Jasper and Alice.

I fought against the desire to join in on the happy moment.

"That's cute, Aro, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Aro laughed softly as he shook his head. "Well, although it may be a bit unconventional, that might have been their little way of getting Alice's attention."

It boggled the mind, really. Part of me wanted to leer at Santa's twisted attempt at matchmaking, but the other couldn't help but smile as I looked at the event with new eyes. Alice's concern as she eagerly rushed to Jasper's side, patiently working out the knots as Jasper lie there, helpless. I wondered if they really were at the ice cream shop right now, bonding over their traumatic experience and an ice cream sundae.

"He's not such a monster after all, eh?" Aro teased, snapping me out of my reverie suddenly. It was then that I realized that I was sitting in front of my boss with egg all over my face, having made quite the fool of myself. I closed my eyes, grimaced, and bowed my head in shame. "I'm sorry, Aro."

"It's alright. For what it's worth, he may have admitted to being a bit of a troublemaker. Seems he enjoys getting you riled up, which I understand first hand is a pretty easy thing to do." Aro teased me, an endearing smile warming his face and lighting up his eyes. I relaxed enough to let out a little laugh at my own expense. "I've asked him to take it easy on you, though I don't promise you'll see drastic results in the near future."

I laughed a little more wholeheartedly at that one. No, a turn around of any kind with our resident mischief maker would certainly be a miraculous occurrence, the likes of which our town has never seen.

"Thanks, Aro." I mumbled humbly.

"You're welcome, sweetie." I stood up, tiptoeing toward the door bashfully. "And Isabella?" I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Take it easy or you'll go prematurely gray."

By the time I emerged from Aro's office, the surrounding stores were all locked up and dark, yet Santa sat on his throne calmly, looking quite amused as I crawled out with my tail between my legs. He was still a jackass, but I felt terrible for having physically attacked him – even if I didn't do any serious damage, it wasn't for lack of trying. Thinking over all of the inappropriate things he had done, I couldn't quite bring myself to apologize, so I settled for trying to make amends.

I stopped a few feet from the door, speaking just loud enough for him to hear me over the distance between us. "Did Jazz really ask you to do that?"

He chuckled and it sounded so carefree that it made my stomach do a giddy little flip. "Well, he did ask me for help. The rest may have been my twisted idea of fun."

He stood up, casually stepping down off the platform toward me. Watching the graceful way he moved gave me goosebumps, but hearing him refer to his "twisted idea of fun" resurrected a little bit of the anger I felt before. I was seriously trying to believe that he was a good guy, but I couldn't imagine a good guy taking advantage of a kid like that for his own amusement.

"Really? Tying a kid up and locking him in a closet is your preferred matchmaking method?" Though I was trying to make amends, that came out with a little more bite to it than intended.

He stepped over the red velvet barrier that roped off the set from the rest of the mall. "I didn't see you and your boyfriend making any progress…"

That caught me off guard. "My boyfriend?"

With only ten feet between us, he stopped suddenly in his tracks. "Jacob – that guy you're always throwing yourself at shamlessly."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you! He's my friend, something you obviously know nothing about!" The rage was once again a blazing inferno that I could not contain. "And how could you do that to Jazz? He came to you for help, and instead, you humiliate him in front of the girl he likes and stand by laughing!" I took a step toward him in anger.

He took a cocky step closer, his eyes sparkling confidently. "And where are they right now?"

I snapped my mouth shut. He had a point, but I refused to back down, taking two dominant steps toward him. "The ice cream was _my_ idea."

He silently closed the distance, moving with the graceful stealth of a large cat. His voice was low and seductive, pulling at my chest in an unusual way. "You can't have a hero without a villain, Bella."

My breath caught when I heard him say my name for the very first time. _Bella_. The two syllables dripped off his tongue like the finest wine, soaking my thoughts in their sinful delight.

I looked up as he towered over me, his eyes intense with desire, need and the hint of a pain that I could not identify. "Girls want a superman – a big, strong guy to protect them. But they also want to do the saving sometimes. That's why you all ignore the good, stable men and swoon for the 'bad boys' or the broken guys. Secretly, you also want a project – someone you can fix."

I was drunk on the smooth timbre of his voice, fascinated by his profound insight and perplexed by the dichotomy of wisdom coming from my savage Santa.

He raised one gloved hand to my temple, caressing the back of his fingers along my jaw until they came to rest beneath my chin, transfixing me with imploring emerald eyes.

"And if you take a good look at the villain, you'll usually find he has a pretty interesting story – or, at least a redeeming quality or two that make him not so bad after all."

His eyes zeroed in on my parted mouth as he traced his thumb over my bottom lip. I was frozen with want, desire and bewilderment, feeling as if the earth had been pulled out from beneath me, leaving me to float in a timeless vacuum of confusion.

He exhaled, the strands of his fake beard rustling amidst his sweet breath as it bathed my face.

He squeezed his eyes closed, releasing me from his hypnotic gaze as he dropped his hand and stepped back.

"Goodnight Bella." He whispered with one last look before turning around and walking away with long, smooth strides.

I secretly wished for a bench behind me so that I could give in to my shaky legs and collapse onto it. Instead, I opted to stand in place for a few minutes more, attempting to clear my head and steady my frantic heart.

Once I had managed to calm myself and collect my senses, I couldn't help but notice how still and dark the mall was. In fact, there wasn't a single soul in sight. A quick look at my watch confirmed that it was now nearly a quarter to ten. The mall had been closed for forty-five minutes.

Shivers ran up and down my arms as I realized how very alone I was. All of the warnings Charlie had drilled into my head throughout the years resurfaced fiercely as I headed into the locker room, my eyes darting all around me suspiciously. I tossed my heels into my locker and slipped on my sneakers so that I would be able to run across the parking lot to my car without any trouble. I was so anxious to get safely home that I quickly snatched my bag and slammed the locker shut.

I raced nervously for the nearest exit, pushing open the door and emerging into the cool night air as it stung my nearly bare legs and blew up my short skirt, making me feel terribly exposed. The night was pitch black except for the newly fallen snow, the only light coming from the lone lamp that still burned brightly in the parking lot, silhouetting my lonely, beat up truck.

With a quick look around to make sure that I didn't see anybody, I ran for the truck like the devil himself was breathing down my neck, bending down to look beneath the truck as I approached and peering through the window before I opened the door. Certain that I was absolutely alone, I punched my key into the lock, pulling the heavy door open, jumping in, slamming it closed and locking it in one smooth motion.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel, trying to calm my nerves now that I was secured in my vehicle, laughing at the absurdity of my over active imagination.

_Darn Charlie and his terror-talks!_

I turned my key in the ignition, calming to the familiar rumble of my old, beat up Chevy as I turned the heat on full blast. As I pulled out of my parking space and wound my way through the lot onto the street, memories of my tumultuous night assaulted my tired brain, switching back and forth from one overwhelming emotion to another like a bored person channel surfing. Reliving it all was absolutely exhausting, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shut my thoughts off as I navigated the winding road towards home.

I was lost in thoughts of Green Eyes, my skin burning from his lingering touch when my truck hit a patch of black ice. Charlie had prepared me for this situation for years before I ever got my learner's permit, but no amount of preparation was going to help when my thoughts were five miles back in a deserted mall with a strange man who absolutely drove me insane. The truck fishtailed and I instinctively over-corrected, steering the truck head first into a snow bank on the side of the road.

Thankfully, in my distracted haze, I was driving slowly enough not to injure myself, but my blessings ended there. Old rusty was helplessly stuck in the drift with steam billowing up from beneath the hood.

_Will this night ever fucking end?_

I leaned my head against the large steering wheel once again as I dug in my purse to retrieve my cell phone. Dad was supposed to be working late, so I tried him at work first.

No answer.

Then I gave his cell phone a try.

"Hello, you have reached Charlie Swan – Chief of Police. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. Otherwise, please leave a message and I will get back to you…"

I had trouble hanging up, my fingertips already going numb from the cold. I didn't bother to leave a message – knowing my dad, he wouldn't even check it until some time in March.

Sighing in frustration, almost certain it was a lost cause, I hopelessly dialed home. When our familiar recording picked up, I stabbed my finger painfully at the key pad, struggling to single out the key that would disconnect the phone call. The familiar, burning ache of winter was starting in my fingertips, nose and ears and I found myself regretting not changing out of my skimpy elf outfit into my warmer clothes.

I jumped out of the cab and walked around towards the front of my truck to survey the damage, not knowing what exactly I planned to do about my situation, but feeling that I had to try to at least do _something._

It was fruitless. Although the moon and stars shone brightly down upon me, the encroaching forest shadowed the road making it impossible to see; the dim light from the cab ghosting uselessly onto the black top of the road beneath my feet.

I could hear a vehicle approaching around the nearest bend, its headlight bouncing against the white walls of snow along the side of the road.

I was gripped by terror, unsure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Part of me was grateful, optimistic that the motorist might be someone who could help. Yet, the part that Charlie had taught to be weary of strangers - the logical part that came to realize that anything that could go wrong tonight _would_ go wrong – wanted to jump back into the cab and hide for dear life.

As the vehicle came in to sight, its single headlight quickly approaching, I fathomed that axe murderers, rapists and kidnappers didn't usually drive around on motorcycles in the dead of winter looking for prey, so I resisted the urge to step out of sight.

The rider slowed down but still ended up passing me by fifty feet before coming to a complete stop and back tracking. I hugged myself tightly as my teeth began to chatter, the mercury continuing to drop.

He pulled the bike off the side of the road so that it was facing my truck, blocked from any possible traffic by the bulbous left front fender. He kicked the stand, leaning the bike cautiously to the side before swinging one long leg over the seat, leather clad hands gripping the sides of his helmet to pry it off of his head. In the shadows, I could barely make out the way the moonlight reflected in his wild hair as he sauntered over to me. I leaned into the driver's side door nervously, the cab light licking at the right side of my face.

"Bella?" The stranger called out tentatively.

I squinted through the night, trying in vain to identify the man.

He stepped into the subtle pool of light being cast out from my cab and his beauty immediately stabbed at my heart.

"Edward?"

He laughed softly. "Yeah. You okay? What happened?" He stepped up, reaching out with tentative fingers as if he wished to rub my arm reassuringly, but quickly withdrawing instead.

"I was on my way home from work when I hit some black ice. I think I may have damaged something…it started smoking and I can't get it to start up." I explained, grateful that the cloak of darkness disguised the embarrassed flush on my face.

"Want me to give it a try?" He asked politely. I stepped aside, pulling the heavy door open for him to climb in.

He stepped past me, that same cologne lingering behind as he lithely jumped into the driver's seat. He turned the key and the truck once against coughed uselessly. "Sounds like you may have damaged the radiator or the fan blade. I can't be sure without taking a look at it. You shouldn't be out here dressed like that…can I give you a ride home?"

I cast a weary glance at the motorcycle. "On that?"

He chuckled softly. "Well, it's either that or a piggy back ride. The latter might sound less daunting, but I think the cycle will get us there faster." The sparkle in his eyes had a gentle warming effect on my body.

"I've never ridden one before. My dad would kill me." I stammered.

"Well, if given a choice of death by angry father or freezing to death on the side of the road, I would definitely suggest death by father."

I nodded enthusiastically. "I agree. You sure you don't mind?"

He smiled, the moonlight glinting off of his dazzling white teeth. "Of course not, but do you have anything else you can put on? Some jeans or something? You're gonna freeze."

I slapped the palm of my hand against my forehead realizing that I had left my clothes in my locker during my frantic get away.

Before I could explain, he shrugged off his leather jacket, stepping behind me to ease it over my shoulders. "No, I couldn't! You'll be so cold!" I argued, but he patiently held it up for me, waiting for me to slip my arms inside.

"I still have on a long sleeve shirt and an undershirt. I'll be alright, trust me." He ensured. I was too cold to put up anymore of a fight, so I eased my arms into the jacket, appreciating the satiny feel of the lining that still radiated from his warmth.

Just like in the diner, I was instantly bathed in his intense heat, his cologne clinging to the leather, surrounding me on all sides.

I was shaken from my thoughts as he shut the sturdy door, walking towards his bike with my bag in his hand. He opened a small leather satchel on the side of the bike and dropped my things in, tying the satchel closed to secure my belongings before waving me over.

I gripped the lapel of the jacket, pulling it tightly around me as I walked hesitantly towards the bike, adrenaline spiking through my system, warming me from the inside out. As I got closer he held up his helmet for me to take. "Edward, seriously – you're already giving me a ride home and I'm already wearing your jacket – it would be absolutely selfish of me to take your helmet too." I pleaded.

He dropped his hand to his side, taking three long strides to close the distance between us. With the helmet secured beneath his right arm, he brought up his left hand to tenderly brush my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "Bella – I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you."

The way he spoke the words…they pierced right through to the very heart of me, touching something deep and foreign within me as he raised the helmet above my head and gently lowered it down until I was safely cocooned within the plastic and foam. He popped open the visor, allowing for me to see and hear him better.

"Besides, if you die before I get you home, you're dad's _really_ gonna be pissed at you." He smiled another dazzling smile and it made my heart stutter. "So, where to?"

Once I gave him directions, he straddled the bike, offering his hand to steady me as I climbed on behind him. Given that this was only the second time I had seen him, my skin tingled with the intimacy of wrapping my arms around his tight torso, my groin pressed up tightly to his firm backside, my bare inner thighs running along the length of his muscular legs.

He pulled my hands apart for a minute as he fiddled with his shirt. A moment later, his fingers intertwined with mine, slipping them through where he had unbuttoned his top so that my frigid hands were now flat against his defined abs beneath the heavy flannel.

He leaned back into me, looking over his shoulder with a mischievous grin as he yelled "Hang on tight, Spider Monkey!"

My arms squeezed even tighter as he kicked the beast to life, its rumbling vibrations filtering pleasantly from my center out through the rest of my body.

It was all too much. The cool breeze blowing against the outside of my calves as his heat penetrated the inner length of my legs. His scent creating a blissful fog all around me as he raced through the streets, causing me to press myself closer still due to the exhilarating, inherent danger. Watching the way his broad shoulders flexed and hunched as he maneuvered through the winding paths. I became absolutely mesmerized by the way the moonlight danced off his silky hair as it rustled in the speeding breeze, longing to bury my fingers into the wild inferno.

The ride was forever in a moment; a 30 second glimpse at infinity. It was as if time slowed, my mind taking a mental snapshot every nano-second so that I could replay it all at will at a later date and time. Yet, no matter how much I had scrutinized every detail of the experience, it still wasn't enough.

I could have ridden with Edward to the moon and back and I'm sure my appetite for his company still wouldn't be sated.

As he pulled up in front of my house, he climbed off the bike first, spinning around to offer me his hand as I climbed off as well. Whether due to the tumultuous vibrations from the ride, the confusing feeling of the earth racing beneath my feet or the freezing cold, my legs gave out from underneath me the moment I stood up from the bike. "Whoops!" I exclaimed as I stumbled forward right into Edward's long, lean arms. He caught me as I fell against his solid chest.

"You okay?" He asked, ducking his head around mine as he tried to look into my face.

I struggled to stiffen my legs beneath me – no matter how wonderful it felt to be in Edward's arms, I was more than a little humiliated. Still, even as my legs began to strengthen, he continued to embrace me tightly, scrutinizing my expression.

"It's alright – that was a pretty long ride for your very first time on a bike, and it's freezing out. It happens." He soothed as he noted my embarrassment.

I reluctantly locked my knees and straightened up, attempting to save my dignity despite wanting to stay trapped in his arms forever.

"Why don't you come inside for a minute? I'll make us some hot chocolate and we can warm up by the fire before you have to head back out in the cold." I offered, attempting to appear more the grateful hostess than the desperate stalker I was quickly becoming.

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at his bike, as if asking the machine for permission.

My confidence took a blow and I immediately began to backtrack. "I mean, I appreciate the ride, but if you have somewhere to go, I understand, I don't want to keep you-" I rambled incoherently.

"No!" He shot out, his gaze quickly darting back to mine frantically. He swallowed and cast his eyes down, seemingly embarrassed by his sudden outburst. He dug the toe of his boot into the frozen ground shyly as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I mean…I'm not in a rush to go anywhere."

Aw, the shy little rebel. If Green Eyes was right, Edward was a girl's dream come true. The black leather hero, mysterious and witty, timid and sexy – a perfect blend of fascinating contradictions.

"Alright." I smiled. "Then what the hell are we still standing out here for?"

He beamed a radiant smile at me and I spun around, marching up the steps before he could make my knees go weak again.

Once inside the house, I lead him to our canary yellow kitchen, gesturing for him to make himself comfortable in our mismatched dining set. He watched, appearing enthralled as I busied myself in the kitchen, quickly putting a couple of mugs of hot chocolate in the microwave to heat up as I turned the burner on to make a quick batch of chicken noodle soup.

I could feel his eyes on me as I hurried back and forth, and the feel of his eyes roaming over my body inspired goose bumps up and down my spine. It was pertinent that I start conversation before his gaze melted me into a little pile of goo on the old linoleum floor. "So, where were you headed to when you came across my little accident scene?"

I rushed over as the microwave dinged, pulling a steaming mug out and placing it in front of his large, elegant hands, noticing for the first time that he had removed the leather riding gloves.

He wrapped his slender fingers around the blue mug, drawing in its warmth. "I was actually on my way home from work."

I fixated on his nimble hands as he brought the mug up to his mouth and sipped. "Oh. Where do you work?"

He quickly lowered the mug to the table with one hand, the other clamping over his mouth as he began coughing and spluttering. Although I felt bad that he was choking and I couldn't do a damn thing about it, I was grateful for the distraction from the fantasies I was weaving about what else those beautiful hands might be caapable of.

I tore my eyes away in time to see that he had recovered from his coughing fit and was rubbing his chest soothingly.

"Sorry about that." He looked down at the table, his eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head. "I…um…I work at the mall." He raised his head to look at me, confusion plain on his face that I could not understand.

"Me too!" I beamed, happy to have found we had something in common. "Ergo, the outfit." I explained, doing a little turn for him before I realized what the hell I was doing. "It's only for the holidays, of course."

_Duh, Bella. You're a freaking elf – of course it's for the holidays. Way to go, genius._

One side of his mouth drew up in a lazy grin as he cocked an eyebrow at me in approval. Suddenly, my confidence was fleeting as I raced off, standing behind the island for some much needed coverage.

"So, what do you do at the mall?" I stared intently at the soup as I stirred, suddenly feeling amazingly self conscious.

He snorted quietly and I looked up to find a look of amusement on his face. "I work at 'Say Cheese'."

My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember why that sounded familiar.

"Is that the pizza place where the waiters dress like priests and nuns?" I asked, scrunching my nose to show my distaste. I tried to picture him in a priest's outfit, but it wasn't working for me.

He laughed out loud and the glorious sound echoed through the kitchen. "No, that place was called 'Cheesus Crust'. They didn't even last a month." He laced his fingers around the mug, bringing it to his lips for another sip. "I work at a photograph studio. We take family portraits and stuff, but we also sell photography equipment and film."

And so another puzzle piece was added to the paradox that was Edward. The bad ass biker was now an artsy photographer too. Somehow, the more I learned about him, the more he intrigued me. "So, you take the pictures and stuff?" I asked, inwardly rolling my eyes at how ditzy I sounded.

He didn't seem to mind. "No, unfortunately, I'm just an associate. Customer service, sales, stocking, cleaning, helping out with the shoots…I'm the pee-on." He chuckled, bowing his head and staring into his hot chocolate.

"You sound disappointed." I noticed, a frown pulling at my lips.

He shrugged half heartedly, talking as he shook the mug to make the hot chocolate swirl around in circles. "Well, photography is sort of my hobby. I won some competitions back in school and thought it might be an interesting career, but I haven't been able to find any affordable classes. When I graduated in June, I took the job hoping that I might be able to work my way up, but I guess I'm just starting to get a little impatient."

I was leaning over the island, my elbows on the laminate countertop as I rested my face in my hands. He glanced up at me from under his long lashes and a subtle moan escaped my parted lips before I could censor it.

"Um, Bella?" He mumbled, immediately peering back down at his mug. I clenched my eyes shut in humiliation at my blatant infatuation, but when I opened them again, I found him moving his index finger up and down between his pecs. I furrowed my eyebrows as I attempted to understand the gesture, finally looking down to realize that my girls had made a special guest appearance.

I was still wearing his leather jacket, but it had fallen open, exposing some pretty gratuitous cleavage as I leaned over the counter, hanging on his every word.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" I shrieked as I spun away from him, grabbing the lapels of the jacket and doubling it around me, my face heating as the blood pooled in my cheeks and burned my ears.

He coughed gently. "Um…_trust me_…there's absolutely _no need_ to apologize for _that._"

I glanced over my shoulder at him, my eyes wide in shock. The moment our eyes locked, he dropped his head in shame, his lips pulling up into an embarrassed grin as his own face deepened to a burgundy. We both starting giggling nervously, the giggles eventually turning into full out laughter that broke through the awkward tension.

"Um…Edward? The soup will be ready in a few minutes. Do you think you would mind starting the fire in the living room why I go upstairs and change?" I asked without turning around to face him.

"Oh. Yeah, sure…no problem. I mean, if you want to get ready for bed, I can just head on out…" He stammered.

Having him in my home and hearing him talk about getting ready for bed was doing odd things to my equilibrium. I turned back quickly, the fear that he might leave evident on my face. "Well, I already made this soup and everything, and, you have to eat, right?" I continued, letting my desperation eek out into my voice. "I mean…do you_ have_ to go?"

He just stared at me for a moment, appraising…appreciating…like a man who has stumbled upon a rare jewel. It was intense but not in a bad way. It sort of made me want to lay myself bare before him – let him see all the pretty and ugly and good and bad within me – to be naked before him in a figurative sense. Somehow, I had the feeling I could do just that and be perfectly safe within his heart and thoughts.

He swallowed before giving me a subtle grin, my lips responding in kind.

"Which way to the fireplace?" He asked simply, his smile widening.

I pointed. "Through there, on the other side of the stairs. There should be wood right beside it and there's a box of matches on the mantle."

He dipped his head, tipping an imaginary hat. "Yes ma'am." He drawled. His flirty smile was sending tingles from my nipples, across my breasts. I stared blatantly as he walked out of the kitchen, then giddily raced upstairs, tearing off my clothes as soon as I was out of sight, anxious to return to him.

I tore through my room, choosing a pair of sweat pants and a baggy shirt so that I would be comfortable and appropriately covered. Sure, I considered something cuter, but I didn't want to look like I was trying. Besides, I didn't have a damn thing in my wardrobe that was going to compare to my holiday stripper outfit. I pulled my hair up in a clip and turned back to my bed, admiring his leather jacket. I picked it up, burying my head in the liner and inhaling deeply, feeling the addictive burn spread through my body. I slipped it back on, not ready to give it up just yet before darting back down the stairs.

I pulled out two more mugs, ladling some soup into each one before carrying them out into the living room where Edward was sitting on the floor, facing the fire with his back leaning up against the couch. "Here you go." I offered, lowering the mug to him.

He reached up and surprisingly took both mugs from me, placing them beside him on the floor before raising his hands once again to support me as I lowered myself to the ground.

I didn't really need the help and, even if I did, I could have easily used the couch for support, but there was no way in hell I was going to bypass an opportunity to touch him.

My fingers slipped easily into his palms, the electricity buzzing tangibly between us as we touched, skin-to-skin, for the first time. He scrutinized my every move with intrigue as I lowered myself to sit to his left, my legs stretched out alongside his.

Once I was safely seated on the floor, he released my hand and turned to retrieve our mugs. The cold stung my hand in his absence and I immediately missed the spark.

He handed me one mug and I looked up to thank him, noticing for the very first time the small stud in his left eyebrow. I could feel my face shift to reveal my surprise.

"What is it?" He asked, looking mixed between amused and self-aware.

"I just realized your eyebrow is pierced." My body went into auto-pilot, acting out thoughts I didn't even know I had as I reached up to tentatively run my finger over the small bar.

I swallowed instinctively when he leaned into my touch, his eyes a burning shade of green. My stomach was tightening inconceivably at his fiery look and I was quickly becoming lost in his gaze. "Did it hurt?" I asked to distract myself.

His eyes implored mine, denying me release from our fiery connection. "Not as bad as some of the others." He said blankly, looking dazed.

My heart was lodged uncomfortably in my throat. _"The others?"_

His face suddenly blanked as he pondered my question, apparently realizing the confession he had just made. He laughed quietly, dropping his head down and running his fingers through his chaotic hair, squeezing the back of his long, slender neck nervously.

I sort of wanted to free him from his unease, but the return of the shy rebel also piqued my interest even more. "How many do you have?" I inquired, emboldened by having the upper hand.

He gripped his mug with both hands again, staring down into the golden liquid.

"I had five."

My jaw dropped as my imagination ran wild. "Where?"

He chuckled timidly. "Well, there's the eyebrow…"

"Right, that's one." I counted, curling my feet up so that I was now sitting on my knees, my body turned towards him anxiously.

Without looking at me, he turned his face so that I could see the piercing in the upper part of his right ear.

"What's that one called?" I asked, running my fingers over the tiny stud as I traced the shape of his ear with feather light touches, pondering where my brazenness was coming from.

"Helix." He breathed, his eyes closed as if he was relishing my touch. The serene look on his face was making my heart race.

"Two." I whispered, surprised by how husky my voice was starting to sound.

He looked up at me from under his dark lashes once again, his eyes darkening to a deep forest green as the tip of his tongue slipped out from between his full lips, rolling around to wet them slightly before he opened his mouth wider and stuck his tongue out, revealing the third piercing – a stainless steel barbell.

I had never thought much about piercings – I never really had a reason to in my lame hometown – but the rumors I heard about guys with tongue piercings had always fascinated me. I suddenly wanted to taste it – to feel the smooth metal as his tongue explored my mouth and wandered over my body.

My breath hitched and I had to clear my throat and lick my lips before I could speak. "Three." It came out in a breathy groan.

He pulled his tongue back into his mouth, turning away from me, seeming to contemplate something. I watched, absolutely riveted by his every move, my nerves live wires as I waited to see what was next.

Slowly, his hands skimmed over the hem of his shirt, gripping both layers near his belly button and pulling them enticingly up his body, revealing first his tight abs as the material gathered, shifting higher until I could see his defined pecs and the gold ring that graced his right nipple.

I could feel my nipples rubbing viciously against my tee shirt with my labored breathing as my panties became unbearably uncomfortable.

Without raising his head, he peered at me out of the corner of his eye, glancing first at my face, then at the hands that rested on my knees, and then back at my face.

_Was he expecting me to touch him like I had done previously?_

_Dear God, I wanted to._

I raised my hand slightly, looking into his eyes with a silent question.

His jaw tensed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed in anticipation.

With my eyes locked on his, I raised my hand slowly, reaching out until my index finger landed on his tightened flesh, marveling at the cold metal against his soft, heated skin. His eyes closed, his lips parted with his rapid breath.

"Four." I exhaled.

I pulled my hand back as he began to lower his shirt, disheartened to see the moment come to an end. I struggled to collect my wits for a minute before my eyebrows furrowed as I looked into his face.

"Where's five?" I was pleased to see my voice sounded just a little less strained than before.

"It's healed." He answered.

"Where was it?"

He curled his knees up under him, shifting his body so that he was mirroring mine. He tilted his chin up, licking his lips before he pointed beneath the bottom right of his lip. I leaned in, my eyes wandering over his flushed lips, inhaling his sweet breath, attempting to focus on finding the evidence of his piercing instead of the overwhelming need I was feeling to press my lips against his.

With great effort, I was able to focus my eyes on the remnants of two subtle puncture marks below his pouty bottom lip. My hand lifted of its own accord, following our little custom as my fingers whispered over the marks. He closed his brilliant eyes, turning his face so that my fingertips brushed over his lip, relishing the feel of his warm breath against my palm.

When his eyes shot open with penetrating lust, I started panting as I grew painfully aware of the growing ache between my legs. He reached for my hand, stilling it as he wrapped his fingers around it, caressing my palm with his lips. He flicked the tip of his tongue across the very center of my palm before pressing his lips against the same spot in a chaste kiss, his breathing as frantic as mine.

I had known Edward all of two days – we hadn't even kissed – and yet he had me burning in an all consuming fire of passion with the most innocent of gestures.

He lowered our hands, staring at them as if trying to read my lifeline, caressing it sweetly with his thumb. "I really think I should go." He mumbled, still studying my palm.

"Oh." My body was screaming in protest, but my mind acknowledged that I might do something I'd regret if we continued this little game of show and tell any longer. "Okay."

He stood up, reaching both hands down to help me up as well. Once I was standing, he released my left hand but continued to hold on to my right as I walked him to the door, dragging my feet every step of the way.

At the door, I released his hand so that I could begrudgingly shrug out of his toasty jacket. He looked like he wanted to insist that I keep it, but we both knew that was illogical given the weather he was about to go riding in.

"Do you live far?" I asked, worry seeping into my voice.

"I'll be home in ten minutes, tops."

"If I gave you my number, would you text me?" I asked. "Just so I know you got home safely." I added to hide my growing obsession.

He retrieved a slender phone from his pocket and handed it to me, allowing me to save my number as he pulled on his jacket.

"Hmmm…" He lifted up the lapel, sniffing at the liner before looking at me with a smirk on his face. "Smells like you."

I grinned from ear to ear. "And what do I smell like?"

"Strawberries and cream." He answered immediately.

"Funny – _I_ thought it smelled liked _you_." I giggled.

He buried his nose into the liner once again, inhaling deeply, his gaze darkening minutely once again as his eyes met mine. "You know what? If this is what we smell like together…" He took both my hands in his, holding them down between us. "We sorta smell like heaven."

_Yep, these panties definitely gotta go in the wash immediately._

With a confidence I didn't know I had, I slipped one finger into his jeans pocket, pulling it open so that I could slip his phone back inside. Then I grabbed the hem of his jacket - which was dangerously near the button of his fly - and zipped him up, fisting his collar to straighten it out. His hands landed lightly on my waist, his thumbs rubbing hypnotic circles into the front of my hips.

I wanted to pull him down and crash my lips against his…but something told me to cherish this exactly as it was.

It's like when you reach that age when you desperately want your parents to 'fess up that there is no Santa Claus…but once they do, it's sad because you realize there's no going back to that sweet, naïve innocence.

_I do believe in Santa Claus…even if he is just a twisted, green eyed jerk._

_**A/N: On the second day of Christmas my readers gave to me: gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Approximately: 18 Pages/ 8,312 Words**_

**Chapter 3**

Sunday was just as slow as Saturday had been. The busiest part of my day comprised of continuous coffee runs to keep Waylon awake and sober.

I tried to ignore the gnawing feeling that I was missing a certain green eyed elf.

_Just enjoy the peace and quiet, Bella._

Peace and quiet is boring.

_So, are you admitting that you're actually enjoying Santa's ruthless advances?_

Shut up.

"I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but it looks like fun." I stopped leaning on the cash register long enough to look up at the familiar voice, goosebumps breaking out along my arms as my eyes fixated on his handsome face.

Edward wrapped his lips sensuously around a thick red straw, his cheeks caving in as he attempted to draw the viscous liquid into his mouth. The image of a bad ass looking biker struggling with a milk shake may have been humorous if it weren't for the fact that I could somehow feel the force of his suction below my waist.

"Slow day for you too, huh?" He asked, leaning over the other side of the counter so that the back of his fingers caressed the back of mine.

He held out his shake to me in offering. For some reason, the simple gesture made my stomach do all sorts of flips. I took the cup tentatively, noticing the way his eyes narrowed as the tip of my tongue licked the end of the straw seconds before my lips encompassed the opening. I felt my own cheeks pressing in against my teeth as I sucked, reminiscent of the way his had done only moments before.

By the look on his face, it was having a similar effect on him.

My eyes lit up when I tasted the frozen concoction for the first time.

_Strawberries and cream._

He smirked and shrugged as a slight blush tinted his cheeks. "Reminded me of you."

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth nervously, tasting the remnants of the dairy treat.

His eyes were still trained seductively on my lips. Suddenly, he clenched them and turned his head away, as if attempting to block out the image. "Did you get your truck back yet?" He asked, his brows furrowed as he continued to face away from me with his eyes squeezed shut.

I shook my head, before realizing that he wouldn't be able to see my response as long as he was keeping those beautiful eyes closed. I was having difficulty finding my voice. "Oh…um…no. My dad had it towed out to Newton's garage this morning. He thinks you were right about the radiator."

I watched as his expression softened, his face relaxing as he finally opened his bright eyes to look back at me. "So…could you…um…" His hand slid through his hair, wrapping around the back of his neck as I noticed he had a tendency to do when he was struggling for words. "…do you want a ride home tonight?"

My girlie parts pulled out the pom-poms and starting doing cartwheels.

"Oh, you don't have to do that…I don't want to put you out or anything…"

_Stupid, stupid insecurities! The guy just came all the way over here to offer you a ride! Knock off the shy girl crap and shout "Yes!"_

His luscious soft lips split open into a broad, marvelous smile as he dropped his hand back down to the side. "I'll come get you around 9:15."

My responding smile must have been blinding as I fought against the urge to bounce on the balls of my feet with elation.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"My pleasure." He whispered back as we leaned toward each other over the counter, pulled by some misplaced gravitational force.

Suddenly nervous, I snatched the cup back out of his hands, the corners of my mouth pulling up mischievously as I sucked the heavy cream through the straw.

He cocked one eyebrow at me and it made my knees weak. Once I was finished, I made a spectacle of licking my lips comically to tease him while I placed the cup back into his waiting hands. "Mmm…yep! Definitely tastes like me!"

The words were no sooner out of my mouth than my jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out, realizing the double entendre of what I had just said.

_Oh my God! Did I just say…Does he think I mean…What the hell was I thinking?_

His lips were parted, his eyes dark as he seemed surprised by my words in an entirely different way. I shivered as tingles ran up and down my spine beneath his fiery gaze.

I was distracted by a sudden tug on my skirt.

"Scuze me, lady, but can I see Santa Claus now? I gotta list!"

I tore my eyes away from the intensity on his face to peer down at a cute little boy, obviously bundled up against the snowfall outside with the tips of his hair appearing damp from the snowflakes that were melting in the warmth of the mall. I turned to him, kneeling down so that I was eye level. "Sure, sweetie – you just have to get your mom or dad first, okay?" I brushed a stray strand of hair from his eyes before he took off running down the large corridor screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" like some broken police siren.

I held the bottom of my skirt down when I stood, as I had learned to do to make sure I didn't flash some unsuspecting bystander. However, as I looked over the counter, Edward was gone – like waking from some brilliantly realistic daydream to the harsh realities of life as a mall elf.

I looked at the display on the register. _3:03 PM_

It was going to be a long six hours.

ooo (*o*) ooo

In my anxiousness to see Edward, I had the entire kiosk cleaned and locked by ten till nine, frantically counting the cash and recording it on the deposit slip in my hurry to get out of there.

I raced to my locker, grabbing my clothes and taking them with me, hoping that he might have a more sanitary bathroom in the store that I could change in.

I wasn't familiar with the photography shop he spoke about, so I stopped by one of the information centers to look over the map, quickly memorizing the route and practically running to get to him. Once the store was in sight, I slowed down to a casual walk, attempting to catch my breath before we came face to face.

A metal drop gate blocked off the entry to the darkened store and my heart sank as I began to wonder if I really _had_ imagined the whole thing. I felt stupid, but decided to call out to him once before walking away in utter disappointment.

"Just a second!" I heard him call from the dark recesses of the store. He didn't sound like he was expecting anyone or even recognized my voice. I started tapping my foot and gnawing on my lip, seriously wondering if he had really come to visit me this afternoon or if it was seriously the workings of my overactive obsession.

He raced around from behind a partial wall, not even bothering to look up as he strode towards me, appearing to be in quite a rush. Just as he approached the metal grate, he looked up, his eyes widening. "It's you!" He exclaimed, clumsily digging a set of keys from his pocket. "I'm sorry I'm late, I had a last minute customer…" He knelt down to unlock the bottom of the grate.

As he held the thing up for me to climb beneath it, we suddenly found ourselves in an awkward situation – him kneeling on one knee before me, his eyes wandering slowly over my ankle and up my calf to linger on the candy design that rode up the side of my thigh. I was too distracted to inform him that he wasn't late, I was just too anxious to wait.

"Um…" I bit my lip, finding it nearly impossible to form a coherent thought. "Sorry. I was hoping you might have a bathroom I could change in…" I mumbled, my skin burning beneath the intensity of his eyes.

"Uh…yeah." He responded, his eyebrows furrowing with that same aggravated look I had seen earlier in the day. "Come on in."

I smoothed my skirt over my backside, covering my chest with my other hand as I dipped down to clear the gate. He chuckled at the great lengths I took to remain decent this time around, shaking his head with humor as he pulled the grate down and locked it tight, trapping me in the dark establishment with him.

The store front suddenly felt incredibly intimate and private.

He took my right hand in the darkness to lead me blindly behind the partition that separated the counter and cash register from the rest of the store. There were ghost lights left on in this part of the shop; one or two dim lights to help employees find their way around after hours.

Settled directly beneath one light was an easel featuring a 16x20 portrait of a baby girl draped amidst a string of Christmas lights. The only thing illuminating the curiosity and fascination on her face was the glow of the individual bulbs, which were designed to mimic tiny presents. A Santa hat dwarfed her cherubic face as she gripped one tiny, lighted gift in her hand, studying it meticulously.

I let go of his hand, stumbling toward the portrait in the dark, my fingers tracing the bows on the toddler's tiny shoulders as if I expected to feel the soft fabric of her top give beneath my fingertips. It was mesmerizing in its sweetness and beauty, somehow complicated in its innocent simplicity.

He came up behind me, his fingers dancing lightly over my hips as his warmth beat against my back. "You like it?"

"It's phenomenal." I breathed. "I mean, I'm not educated about photography like you are, but it's so beautiful. Like…" I licked my lips as I tried to think of the words. "I mean, sure, it's a cute photo of a little girl. I see it for what it is. But…the contrast of the darkness all around her and the light coming from within her little hands. The chaos of the lights engulfing her coupled with her childlike wonder and fascination. It seems symbolic somehow – like the string of lights and the busy colors are the crazy chaos that retailers have made of the holiday and here, in the middle of it all, is the true meaning of Christmas." I spun around to face him, my hands landing on his forearms as he continued to ghost his fingers over my hips.

"That's lame, isn't it?" I giggled. "I swear, I don't usually go all melodramatic and Hallmark commercial at baby photos." I joked, trying to hide my sudden embarrassment with humor.

He tilted his chin up, nodding towards the photo that was now behind me. "Her name's Elizabeth." He said, his eyes training on the photo with love and pride before coming back to my face, glowing with happy content. "She's my sister."

I glanced quickly over my shoulder at the picture before turning back to face him.

"Did _you_ take this?" My face revealed how impressed I was.

He grinned and nodded, suddenly shy from my raving compliment.

My fingers squeezed at his forearms excitedly and this time, I didn't stop myself from bouncing up and down giddily. "Can I see more?" My eyes lit up with hope.

He chuckled at me, quickly peering at something over my shoulder before looking back at me with his own playful giddiness. "I have a better idea. Come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled fiercely toward a side room that was sectioned off with a curtain. Once inside, he flipped a switch and bright, professional lamps set the small space ablaze. He spun around to face me, taking both of my hands in his and truly resembling a kid at Christmas. "Model for me."

My eyes went wide. "What? I'm not a model! I don't even know what to do."

"Come on!" He pleaded. "It's just for fun; you don't have to do anything special. And trust me, you're a natural. The camera will love you."

I held up my bag to him. "But, all I have are jeans, an old knit sweater and some sneaks. That's hardly the stuff for fashion magazines." I pouted.

He held my arms out and stepped back, looking me up and down, admiring the elf costume I was still wearing before grabbing one of the bells on the edge of my skirt and spinning it back and forth between his forefinger and thumb. "I think this will do nicely." He grinned suggestively.

I stared into his eyes, his enthusiasm absolutely contagious. I huffed out a surrendering sigh before letting my bag slide off my shoulder and tossing it into a corner. "What do I do?"

He clapped once, darting behind a tripod with an intimidating looking camera and booting up the attached computer. "Just give me a second." I watched and giggled as he excitedly raced around the room, removing one back drop and pulling down a white cloth from the back of the room that was long enough to stretch from the ceiling, down the wall and over the floor, bathing the entire area in glowing white fabric. He kicked off his shoes so that he wouldn't mar the fabric before snatching a little white, wooden stool from the wall and placing it in the center of the white pool of fabric. He turned back towards me, a gleeful smile on his face as he patted the seat and gestured for me to come over.

I slipped off my heels, not wanting to damage the fabric when I walked on it, and padded over to the stool, taking a seat so that I was facing the intimidating camera lens. He came to stand behind me, grabbing the end of my French braid and shaking it. "Do you mind?"

I shook my head no and he removed the band from the end of it, slowly parting the plaits with his fingers. With the braid completely undone, he ran his fingers through my hair and it felt so good that I had to stifle a moan. He ran his fingers up along my scalp, massaging the roots of my hair and fluffing it. I hoped it would behave for him, because if it turned into a rat's nest with all his maneuvering, I'd be terribly embarrassed.

He moved around in front of me, playing with a few strands so that they would frame my face just the way he wanted. He gave me one last look, appearing pleased with the result before he strode back to take his place behind the camera. "Here we go!" He said excitedly.

My body tensed. "I don't know what to do?"

He laughed. "Just act natural. Play around. Be yourself. Just have fun with it."

I bit my lip, my eyes rolling up as I tried to think of some creative pose.

I jumped when the lights flashed. "What? No!" I shouted, waving my hand in front of the camera. To my dismay, there was another flash. I dropped my hand, my eyes bugging out and my mouth gaping in shock. "I'm not ready yet!"

_Snap-Flash._

"Edward!" I started to stand up and charge towards him, out of camera range.

_Snap-Flash._

I put my hands on my hips, glaring at him behind the camera despite the smile that played on my lips.

_Snap-Flash._

I put my hands on my knees, doubling over with laughter at his crazy antics.

_Snap-Flash._

"You're relentless, you know that?" I said, straightening up, one arm wrapped around my middle as my belly began to ache from laughing; the other hand wiping at the happy tears that were beginning to stream down my face.

_Snap-Flash._

"The camera loves you, baby!" He called out amidst his own amused laughter. "Work it! Show me what you got!" _Snap-Flash. _"Be a lemur, baby! Be a lemur!" He added in his best Austin Powers.

I gave in, striking a series of funny, over-the-top model poses as he continued to laugh and snap pictures. We laughed and smiled so much that it made my cheeks hurt wonderfully.

He must have taken fifty pictures in quick succession before I settled down onto the stool, attempting to catch my breath and stifle the laughter for a moment. He came out from behind the camera, kneeling down in front of me and crossing his arms across my knees as he looked up, his green eyes gleaming. "I told you you'd be a natural." He smiled. "Are you tired? Do you want to stop?"

I didn't really know what else to do as his 'model', but I knew I wasn't ready to let it end yet. "Do we have to? Will you get in trouble?"

With his arms still resting across my lap, he opened up one of his hands and I slipped my fingers into his grip. "We can do whatever you want, Bella." His voice dropped slightly in that way that made my body go haywire. "What do _you_ want to do?"

I no longer felt like laughing. The knot that he had tied in my stomach yesterday…the one that had never really gone away, began to tug at me. "Can we take some more pictures?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

His eyes wandered down from mine to settle on my lips. "Of course." He wasn't laughing anymore either. "What kind of pictures do you want?"

I dropped my eyes, feeling my brows furrow as I carefully considered my next words. "I want…" I stuttered, fighting against my nerves. "I want you to make me pretty."

His lips pursed seductively, his eyes narrowing as he looked into mine and brought one hand up to brush the hair from my face back behind my ear – his fingertips lingering on my heated cheek. "Trust me, Bella. You don't need any help with that."

Just like that, my breath quickened, my breasts literally heaving with the frantic pace, just like those dumb romance novels always talk about. "_Please?"_ Was all I could muster.

His eyes burned into mine as if he was trying to calculate his next step, so I pushed a little harder. "Has anyone ever really modeled for you before?" I asked, trying to read his expression.

He looked down at our intertwined hands. "Just my family and friends. Lighthearted, fun stuff."

"If you got a real chance to be a photographer, is that the kind of work you'd want to do?" I pressed.

Although he was looking down, I could see his eyebrows lowering in contemplation. "Sometimes, but not all the time. I think it would be incredible to do fashion magazines or edgier shoots as well."

"Well, I don't know what the hell I'm doing…but you can _tell_ me." I offered, running my fingers along his jaw, settling them beneath his strong chin to pull his face up so that he would look at me.

"I mean…I have some ideas, but I don't want to take advantage of you." He mumbled. "I don't know exactly what you would feel comfortable doing, and I don't want to-"

"I trust you." I interrupted, dipping my head down so that we were eye-to-eye.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me imploringly.

I smiled and nodded, summoning my reserve confidence to battle against the butterflies taking residence in my abdomen.

He stared at me meaningfully for a moment before standing up and sauntering over to a set of plastic drawers near the control center. My eyes roamed over his long, lean legs as he strode away, settling on his backside as he bent over and dug around through the contents of the drawer. A moment later, he seemed to find what he was looking for as he shut the drawer and stood up, holding the item tightly to his chest as he stared at the wall for a moment, attempting to draw on his own inner strength.

His hesitancy made me nervous…and _incredibly_ excited. His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep, cleansing breath before walking back to me in five long strides, holding out a small piece of white cotton fabric for me to take. "If you really want to do this, step back out into the hallway and turn right. The second door on the right is the bathroom." He instructed, retrieving my back pack and bringing it over to me as I fisted the white cotton. "You're better off changing into your jeans for this part so you'll be a little more comfortable, kay?"

I nodded briskly, standing up from the stool and heading for the curtained partition silently.

"Bella?" I turned back to face him. "If you try that on and don't want to do this, that's perfectly fine, okay? I can clean this all up and we can be out of here in five minutes, no problem. Just be honest with me."

I swallowed, made all the more incredibly nervous by his obvious anxiety. I nodded and attempted to flash a reassuring smile before I stepped out beyond the curtain and made my way to the bathroom.

I was right – this bathroom was FAR nicer than the filthy mall stalls. It was only a single bathroom, no stalls, and it rivaled the size of a typical handicap stall, but there was a vase of flowers near the sink and numerous black and white photographs lining the walls, including one of Edward standing in a doorway, leaning his shoulder against the door frame. His hands were shoved in his pockets, one foot crossed casually over the other. I couldn't help but stare at the picture as I slowly disrobed, unable to ignore the feeling that his black and white eyes were roaming over my bare skin as I revealed myself to him.

I dug through my pack, pulling on my skinny jeans before shoving my bright green nightmare into the sack and zipping it up. I finally unfolded the small swatch of cloth to find that it was a rather skimpy tube top that would cover my breasts and absolutely nothing else.

I remembered the time I had gone with Jessica to Glamour Shots to take pictures for her sixteenth birthday. They had made her wear the tube top so that she would always be covered up as they draped her in boas and shawls and jackets and wraps for a series of different shoots. Jessica had been a little nervous about going out in the small thing, but I reminded her that it was no worse than the bikinis we already wore to the beach during the summer.

There were a couple of major differences between then and now. For one, the store had been filled with girls and women, gossiping and laughing and teasing each other lightheartedly. It wasn't a pitch black, silent place in an abandoned mall after hours.

Secondly, Linda - Jessica's photographer - was a sarcastic, middle-aged chain smoker that kept us laughing and comfortable the entire time, unlike the sexy, earth-shatteringly beautiful man that was currently out there, waiting to see if I would have the nerves to walk out in this.

I turned my back on Edward's stoic, black and white gaze as I reached behind myself to unfasten my bra, letting it drop down my arms before I tossed it into the sink. Then, I stretched out the tube top, easily pulling it over my head and securing it around my breasts, glad I had just shaved this morning. Thankfully, the material wasn't as sheer as I feared. Therefore, aside from the fact that it was tiny, I was decently covered. I unzipped my bookbag a little, pushing my discarded bra inside before taking a settling breath and walking back out.

I eased one hand through the curtain, parting it slightly so that I could slip through quietly.

Edward was moving around the floor on his hands and knees, scattering soft white sheets and pillows around the area in a carefully organized disarray. The bright lights had been dimmed significantly so that the candles he had placed around the room gave the space a warmer, flickering glow. His shirt tightened over his muscular shoulders as he moved about, the black jersey material clinging tightly to his back so that I could watch the sinews pull beneath his skin and marvel at the way the muscles bunched and flexed with his movement. His shirt had rode up slightly so that I could see the dip of his lower back, noticing for the first time how very low he wore his black jeans around his hips.

He shifted around so that he was facing toward me, noticing me standing there for the very first time. We gasped simultaneously as our eyes met across the dim room, both acknowledging the painful electric current that buzzed loudly between us. I was so caught up in watching him that I totally forgot my own embarrassed insecurity as I stood there, my shoulders, chest and midriff vulnerable to the cool, air conditioned atmosphere.

Without a sound, his eyes softened and questioned, offering me one last chance to back down. However, the jitters I was feeling now were due to a mixture of adrenaline and exhilaration, anxious to see what he had planned. When I smiled this time, it was sincere.

I had no doubt in my mind that I was safe here. In this room, in his mind…in his arms. Though there was no basis for my confidence, I trusted him implicitly.

He leaned over so that he was now sitting sideways on the sheets, curling his index finger in a silent, provocative invitation for me to join him. I stepped forward tentatively, kneeling down beside him. He reached behind me, picking up one of the stray sheets and wrapping it around my back and over my shoulders. Goosebumps broke out along my flesh as the cool, sensual fabric embraced me. He instructed me to grip the sheet around myself so that the tube top was completely hidden.

Without an explanation, I instantly understood the reason for his nerves. The scene gave the impression that I was lying nude in a large, extravagant bed. He knelt in front of me, threading his fingers into my hair at the temples, fluffing it as he pulled back, drawing loose tendrils around to tickle against my jaw and shoulders. Occasionally, his fingertips would brush along my skin, zapping me with the dangerous current he always exuded. Although the tension never dissipated, he was meticulously professional, his focus on perfecting every subtle detail. He took my chin between his forefinger and thumb, dipping my head slightly. "Like this." He instructed. I tried to lock my neck to hold the position he was asking for. He fingers brushed over my forehead, down along my temple, caressing my cheek and jaw before he released me.

Then he stood up to move back behind the camera.

I missed him immediately.

Keeping my head in position, I looked up towards the camera from under my eyelashes. My eyes reached beyond the lens, focusing on the intensity on his face as he watched me watching him. My lips parted slightly as I struggled to breath.

_Snap-Flash._

"Run your hand through your hair." Gathering the sheet in one hand, I did as he instructed with the other.

_Snap-Flash._

My eyes cleared from the blinding light in time to see him having difficulty swallowing. Without prompting, I pulled my fingers free from my hair, placing my fingertips tenuously on my collarbone.

_Snap-Flash._

"Okay." He croaked, low and throaty. "Now, rest your head on your left shoulder." He took a deep breath as I did what he asked. "Lay your head back a little more to expose your throat." My skin prickled as my throat elongated with the movement. He rumbled deep within his chest. "Okay, Bella – close your eyes and imagine someone kissing your neck." My eyes fluttered closed as I pictured him coming out from behind the camera and coming to kneel beside me, trembling as I managed to conjure the feel of his warm breath on my clavicle as he leaned over me. "Beautiful." He growled.

_Snap-Flash._

When I opened my eyes, he was approaching me – his face hard and intense. I swallowed.

He slipped his hands over my bare shoulders and beneath the sheet, pulling it off of me. "Good. You're doing excellent, Bella." Our eyes locked momentarily before he looked away quickly. "Now, I need you to turn around so that your back is to the camera."

I turned as he asked before sitting back down on my knees. He gingerly laid the sheet back over my shoulders so that I was completely swathed in it, his fingers brushing along my neck as he pulled my hair out from underneath. Just like last time, I missed him the moment he stood up to return to the camera. I stared at a flickering candle, noticing for the first time that the room smelled like vanilla…_and strawberries._ The comparison once again made me smile. When I looked back to see what he was doing, he had lowered the camera so that it was at my eye level, and he was kneeling beside it. It brought us closer still – creating an incredibly intimate and erotic ménage a trios.

"Right." He choked. "I want you to look over your shoulder, just like that."

_Snap-Flash._

Without his prompting, I turned my upper body slightly so that I could look at the camera more directly.

_Snap-Flash._

I loosened my hold on the white sheet, allowing it to fall off of my shoulders and further down my back.

_Snap-Flash._

"Oh. I love the look, but you'll have to hold the sheet tighter because I can see the tube top."

I don't know what came over me, but I threw the sheet entirely over my head, emerging a moment later to toss the tube top at him. "Better?" I asked, resuming the pose – the adrenaline and desire stopping my brain from fully processing the fact that I was now sitting topless in a photo studio.

Edward's jaw dropped as the discarded fabric hit his lap, picking it up and allowing his fingers to maneuver over the material reverently. He stared at it before slowly bringing it to his face, emeralds boring into onyx as he inhaled.

_Holy shit._

With the cotton still fisted in one hand, he leaned towards the camera to look at me from the same angle. "Look at me, Bella." He crooned. I allowed the sheet to slide off my shoulders and drape across my bare back as I brought my eyes to his.

_Snap-Flash._

"You know what makes you even more enthralling, Isabella?" For all of my life, I had insisted that people call me Bella. However, hearing my proper name roll off his tongue set a spark alight in my tight jeans. "Because you are completely unaware of how absolutely beautiful and sexy you are."

It was only here in this moment – with him looking at me that way – that I could even begin to fathom that was true. I raised both of my arms out from under the sheet so that my entire upper body was exposed aside from the fisted material I held over my breasts. I looked up as he stood, taking too long strides from the camera, feeling the way my desire played across my face.

_Snap-Flash._

_It was a remote. There was nothing keeping him so far away from me._

I curved one finger at him, inviting him over in the same seductive way he had done previously. I was enthralled when he obeyed, advancing on me slowly. "Pose with me." I breathed.

"I don't-" He started to object.

"You've done it before." I interrupted. "I saw the picture in the bathroom."

He ran his hand over his hair and around his neck. "That was just for fun, Bella." His hand squeezed at the back of his neck and my fingers itched to massage away the tension I could sense building there.

"So is this." I teased, arching one eyebrow. As if in a trance, he slowly knelt down beside me so that his chest was inches away from my shoulder. My face was turned towards his as he leaned in tentatively, my breath hitching as the current sparked with the proximity of his lips.

_Snap-Flash._

His hand wandered over the hand I was using to grip the sheet, tickling over my arm and up my shoulder, sliding beneath the cascade of hair to wrap his fingers around the side of my throat.

_Snap-Flash._

He brought his other hand up to grip my chin, palming the remote so that his thumb could pull slightly at my bottom lip.

_Snap-Flash._

I couldn't stand the space left between us any longer. I rose up on my knees, turning so that I could face him, running my fingertips over the stubble on his jaw, wandering up into his chaotic hair, mewling when I realized it was just as soft and thick as I had imagined.

_Snap-Flash._

He slid his legs out from underneath him and without a conscious thought to do so, I moved to straddle his thighs – still holding myself up on my knees, the sheet parting beneath my grasp so that there was nothing between my bare belly and his except for the thin material of his shirt.

_Snap-Flash._

His hand fisted in my hair as he pushed back, my hand and breast trapped between us as we pressed our bodies together.

_Snap-Flash._

His other hand tickled the sensitive skin beneath my ear, trailing down my throat and tracing along my collarbone out towards my shoulder. He leaned into me, his nose skimming over the same path until he was facing the camera, my head turned to inhale the scent that clung to his wild hair.

_Snap-Flash._

In one swift movement, he lowered his hand from my shoulder to my hip before releasing his grip on my hair, quickly wrapping his arm around my waist, his hand dipping below the sheet so that I could feel the warmth of his touch. He splayed his large hand across my back, suddenly pulling me to him, crushing our bodies together. I moaned, my body a blazing inferno beneath his fiery touch. "Bella…" He moaned as he brushed his lips slowly back and forth over my shoulder.

Something snapped in me and my legs gave out as I collapsed onto his lap, instantly feeling his reaction as our groins collided.

"Shit!" He pulled away instantly, his hands up near his shoulders as if trying to plead his innocence to a third party.

Stunned out of the vacuum that our chemistry had created, I swung my leg over so that I could back away from him on my knees.

"Bella, I'm sorry!" He pleaded with absolute terror in his eyes.

I didn't know what he was apologizing for, but it bothered me that he was apologizing at all.

"I should go get changed." I mumbled, wrapping the sheet completely around myself before standing up and shuffling out of the room.

I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the light, instantly face to face with the mesmerizing, stoic, black-and-white image that had previously made me come undone. I turned my back on it, not wanting him to see me anymore. I didn't know what just happened, but he obviously wished it hadn't and for that, I felt sick.

I gathered the sheet up into a ball and placed it on the counter, grateful that I had left my bag in here when I changed. I tore through the contents distractedly, savagely pulling my bra, undershirt and sweater out and pulling them on in haste.

However, despite my rush to get dressed, I found that I was in no rush to step out from the bathroom once it was done. I wasn't ready to leave my sanctuary and face him without understanding what had gone wrong. I sat down on the toilet seat, hugging my bag in front of me and rocking back and forth as I ran over the night's events in my mind. No matter how I tried, I couldn't figure out exactly what I did to change things. Even lowering myself onto his lap – _feeling_ that he wanted me as badly as I was wanting him – even that had been pleasurable.

_Euphoric, actually._

So, why did he cuss and pull away like I had somehow burned him? Why was he apologizing? What had I done to warrant that reaction?

Had I sat down too hard and hurt him? I was inexperienced but, from what I had seen and learned in movies and books, the guys usually liked it when the girls lowered themselves like that. Had I done it wrong?

I was never one to regret waiting, but my inexperience and confusion was suddenly incapacitating.

There was a gentle rapping on the door. "Bella? Are you okay?"

I choked down the lump in my throat, swatting at the tears that were threatening to corrupt my vision. I didn't answer – I wasn't sure I could trust my voice yet – so instead, I stood up and focused on neatly folding the sheet. By the time I had arranged it into a tidy square, I felt back in control. I squared my shoulders and lifted my head, defying the war of hormones, confusion, insecurity and doubt raging within me. I swung my back pack over my shoulder and pulled the door open just as he was about to knock again.

"Bella-"

"I'm sorry." We said in unison. He lowered his eyebrows as if he was confused by my apology. I didn't give him time to continue.

"Here's the sheet. Do you need any help cleaning up?" I asked, squeezing past him and walking towards the studio.

He grabbed the back of my arm, successfully halting me. "Bella-" He started again.

"Can we just not talk about it?" My voice sounded pitiful in desperate humiliation as I averted my gaze, unable to look at him.

He struggled as if he wanted to say more, but eventually sighed and gave in, nodding his head silently. "I already cleaned everything up and removed the disk. They'll never even know we were here." He said sadly.

My heart clenched. _Great. Everything's been erased. It's as if it never happened, just another ghost of a daydream my overactive imagination conjured up. Tomorrow, without any proof to the contrary, I'll wonder if this ever happened at all._

"I should get you home."

_Damn. The bike ride. Seeing him. Smelling him. Holding him. Feeling him._

I almost wanted to lie and tell him I would get my father to pick me up, but I knew that was irrational.

With downcast eyes, I whispered a thanks.

"Let me just get my jacket and we can go." He mumbled, releasing my arm and wandering farther back into the darkened bowels of the store.

I wandered toward the ghost lights, turning to face the image of little Elizabeth, happily oblivious to the chaos surrounding her as she marveled at the tiny light within her reach.

I, on the other hand, was quickly becoming buried beneath the chaos and that bright shining light I was staring into now seemed infinitely farther away.

"You ready?" He asked, shrugging into the jacket as he stepped out from the back room, the keys jingling in his hand.

I nodded quietly.

I waited silently as he lifted the grate for me to step beneath before following me out and securing the lock once again. The cold outside seeped into the drafty mall concourse, chilling me from the inside out. It was strange how I felt chillier fully dressed and bundled than I had ever felt while I posed topless.

My throat squeezed around the lump as Edward stepped up beside me, looking as if he wanted to reach out to me, but resisting the urge. "Ready?"

I nodded.

The silence stretched on as we walked through the mall towards the employee exit. Just as Edward pushed the door open, a breeze billowed past, pulling the metal handle out from his grip and throwing it open, slamming it against the outer wall. He threw his arm out in front of me, the snow drifting in as he stepped out to grab the door and pull it closed.

"What are you doing?" My voice scraped along my windpipe.

"It's too cold." He said, looking towards the door as if he could still see the snowflakes whipping around beyond it.

Frustration and confusion was making it difficult for me to comprehend. "We can't just stay here." My eyebrows dipped, shadowing my eyes.

He unzipped his leather jacket and started to ease it off his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Wordlessly, he flipped the jacket around and stepped behind me, holding it up for me to step into it. "Edward, I'm wearing a sweater and an undershirt – I'll be fine. You can't go out there in nothing but a tee shirt and flannel." I warned.

"Please." He pressed on.

His voice was wearing me down, although something in me continued to rebel at the fact that it didn't make any sense. "No. That's insane."

"Wanting to keep you warm is insane?" He asked from behind me.

I turned on him. "No, wanting to risk hypothermia to do it when I am already thoroughly insulated is." I bit back, unsure where my anger was coming from.

His eyes softened momentarily before he lifted a hand to cup my cheek. "I don't understand why you're so angry."

I leaned into his hand unintentionally, regretting snapping at him when he was going out of his way to care for me like a true gentlemen. "I don't know either." His thumb reached out to glide along my bottom lip, but I quelled the excitement, sure that the kiss I so desperately wanted was not going to follow. He was going to keep stoking the embers of desire painfully within me without any relief in sight.

I took a deep breath to calm the second burst of anger and frustration I felt threatening to overwhelm me. "Put your jacket on, Edward. Like I said, I'm wearing thick jeans, a tee shirt and a knit sweater, plus you're in the front, so you'll keep most of the breeze off of me. I'll be fine." His eyebrows furrowed as he fought to accept my logic. "Plus, you're steering and neither of us can risk you going numb out there on the road. You need to be in control of the bike now more than ever." Once again, I realized how very much I trusted this absolute stranger – putting my life in his hands with absolute confidence that he would navigate the black, icy roads to safely get me home.

He pulled his hand away reluctantly. "Give me your bag, then wait here. I'm going to get the bike, secure your stuff and ride it over closer to the door for you to get on, okay?"

I bristled at the way he was ordering me around, but I also melted just a little at how very badly he wanted to protect me. "Wear the helmet." I ordered in return.

"Bella-" he started to interject, but I put a finger to his soft, warm lips to stop him. "If you don't wear the helmet, the cold is going to hurt your eyes and you won't be able to see. I'll keep my head low and…well…you're way too worried about my safety to even make crashing a possibility, so my noggin will be just fine. It's safer for _both _of us for _you_ to wear the helmet this time."

He sighed, unable to argue my point.

He placed his hand on the push bar, pausing a moment to add "When you get on the bike, put your hands in my jeans pocket and tuck your head into my neck to keep warm, okay? I'll get you home and out of this weather as soon as possible."

My fingers twitched, wanting to touch him just once more, but knowing it would hurt when he eventually pulled away again.

He pushed the door open and stepped out into the myriad of white ice that danced along the night sky. I pulled the door closed, leaning against it, trying to figure out what it was about him that affected me so strongly. I still hadn't found an answer when I heard the motorcycle rumble outside the door, cueing my exit.

I raced out, throwing my leg around the back of the bike quickly, edging up so that my inner thighs lined the outside of his. I slipped my arms around him, his leather clad hands guiding mine beneath his jacket and slipping them into his tight pants pocket. It hadn't occurred to me until that moment how intimate of a task it was, placing my fingertips mere inches from his groin. I gasped, thankful that he wouldn't be able to hear it through the helmet and whirling winds. I closed my eyes, ducking my head down into my shoulders and burying my forehead against his back, struggling to find his delicious scent as the wind threatened to tear it away.

The moment I was steadied, I felt the bike shoot out like a rocket, but I had no desire to look. I was already back in the studio, imagining an entirely different ending to our photo shoot – an ending that made it impossible for me to be cold amidst the dizzying snowflakes.

All too soon, I could feel the bike slow as he maneuvered down my street, coming to a stop a few feet from my front steps.

The worst of the weather was behind us; on my lawn, the snow was drifting peacefully down from the heavens to lightly dust the ground.

I felt his back tense beneath my cheek as he raised his hands to remove the helmet.

_I wasn't ready to let go._

He hung the helmet on one of the handles, reached back to my elbows and caressed down my arms until his hands rested over the place in his jeans pockets where my hands were toasty warm.

_So hot. So close._

He didn't say anything; made no gesture to move as I stayed frozen in place behind him. I nuzzled his neck and ran my nose up into his hair, thankful to be able to inhale his fragrance once again. His hands dropped away from mine, reaching behind him to rest low on my hips, caressing up the length of my thighs as he pulled my legs tightly against his, his fingertips seducing their way down my leg to my knee.

I could hear the clock ticking down, knowing any second that he would pull away. I shouldn't be so willing and eager – it went against every rational thought I had ever had about sex. But this guy…this _man_…I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, eagerly dancing around the fire in spite of the fact that I was going to get burned.

"You should go inside, Bella. It's only a matter of time before the storm moves this way…" Like a sleeper who ignores the alarm clock and attempts to roll over and go back to sleep, I ignored him completely, clinging to him greedily, warding off reality for just a few more minutes of peaceful slumber. "…and I still have to get home."

He was hitting below the belt. Somehow, he knew the one thing I would not deny him was his own well-being and happiness. Just like he had been willing to brave the cold to protect me from it, I would give him up if it was what I knew was best for him.

I sighed as I pulled my hands from his pockets, grabbing on to his hips to steady myself as I climbed off the bike. He didn't stand, so it was lucky that my legs held strong beneath me this time around. I untied the satchel, withdrawing my belongings and slinging them over my shoulder before adeptly retying the knot.

I stood there beside him, my fingers fiddling nervously with the loose end of my shoulder strap as I struggled to think of something to say. "Do you want to come inside?" I hated sounding so small and pleading, especially when I already knew he wouldn't.

"Not tonight." He answered solemnly.

"Will you text me when you get home?" I bit my lip, feeling more vulnerable than I could bear.

He reached up and caressed my cheek once more, using his thumb to release my lip from between my teeth. "Of course. Will I see you at work tomorrow?"

My heart stuttered at the fact that he wanted to see me, then thudded painfully. "Tomorrow's my day off."

It was his turn to look disheartened. "I should get going."

"Thanks for the ride."

"It was my pleasure, Isabella." I loved watching the way his lips caressed my name.

He watched as I ascended the steps, waiting until I was safely behind the door before he pulled away into the night.

Exactly twelve minutes and thirty two seconds later, my phone chirped with his message.

"Sweet dreams, my beauty."

I didn't respond.

I just didn't know what else to say.

_**A/N: On the third day of Christmas my readers gave to me: Sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Approximately: 13 Pages/ 5, 202 Words**_

**Chapter 4**

"Thanks for the ride, Jacob." I rubbed my hands together briskly in front of the air vent, trying to warm them from the cold.

"No prob. Just gotta pick up Nessa on the way to school." She only lived a block away from the school, but in the two years since she and Jake had gotten together, Jacob ensured that she had not walked the short distance even once.

I bit my lip as we rode the next few minutes in silence.

"What's on your mind, Jingle Bells?"

I had been debating whether or not I had the courage to ask Jake something. I still hadn't decided.

I pinched my bottom lip between my index finger and thumb, really starting to gnaw on it.

"Whoa, Bella! Take it easy – why don't you try some beef jerky or something? I'm pretty sure what you're doing is considered self mutilation and that's generally frowned upon by society."

_He had a point. If I continued to chew on my lip this way, I was bound to make it bloody and the question would no longer even be pertinent._

"Jake, could I ask you something?" My eyebrows were furrowed so thoroughly that I could feel them casting shadows over my eyes.

"Anything, Bella."

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Am I a good kisser?"

His boisterous laughter was only one of the two reactions I was hoping to avoid. "How in the world should I know?"

I folded my arms across my chest defensively. "You don't remember?"

"Hell – are you talking about when we played spin-the-bottle?"

I nodded, too humiliated by his reaction to speak.

"C'mon, that hardly counted as kissing. Why don't you ask someone else?"

I took that opportunity to start chewing on my lip again as I averted my eyes. "Cuz there's no one else to ask."

"Mike Newton?"

"Ugh. He tried to make a move, but his breath smelled like tuna fish."

"Tyler Crowley?"

"We only went out that one time and when he realized he wasn't going to get lucky with me, I caught him making out with Lauren in the bathroom."

"Eric Yorkie?"

I laughed out loud at that one. "Puh-lease. Everyone's waiting for Eric to come out of the closet. He was the only one in class who cried when Romeo killed himself and, have you seen the way he stares at Mr. Molina?"

He squeezed his brows forward as he carefully considered what I was saying. "But…what you and I did…it doesn't count."

"Why not?" I frowned, sad to see the only whisper of experience I had quickly being discounted.

"Well, it was freaking awkward. Neither of us knew what we were doing. To make matters worse, you know I was really hoping to kiss Vanessa and you didn't even want to play. Is that really an experience you want to be judged on?"

We were now idling on the side of the road in front of Nessa's house, watching as she struggled with her gloved hands to get the right key into the door.

"Why are you asking? I mean, I'll do anything I can to help you out – really, I will."

"Thanks Jake. I know." I pouted as Nessa claimed the front seat, leaning over to quickly kiss him on the cheek and turning about in the front seat so that she could see me over the head rest. "Hey Bella!"

"Hey Nessa." I couldn't mutter enough enthusiasm to reply normally.

"What's wrong?" Her chocolate brown eyes stared at me worriedly.

"I was just hoping Jacob might be able to give me some advice on something, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen." I pouted.

"Aw, Bella…what is it? Can I help?"

Jacob snickered and she swatted at his shoulder.

I smiled grudgingly. "Thanks, but I'll have to figure this one out on my own." I pouted as we turned the corner into the school parking lot.

Nessa turned a comical, pouty face at her boyfriend. "Aw, Jakey…can't you help her out?"

Jake shot a sideways glance at me before breaking into a huge smile that I was sure meant trouble. "Sure baby, as long as you don't mind me making out with Bella in the back seat for a while so I can give her a detailed review of her kissing technique."

"Jacob!" She and I screamed in unison, our faces matching masks of shock and horror.

"What?" He put his hands up innocently.

Nessa and I simultaneously jumped out of the passenger side of the car as Jake put it into park, slamming our doors and trudging off across the quad to our class. "You asked for it!" Jacob yelled after us. "I was only going to show her the awesome things you taught me, baby!"

Yep – he was right. That kiss sure as hell did not count.

_Which means that I am still waiting…_

ooo (*O*) ooo

I was surprised to see my Dad leaning against old rusty in the parking lot when I got out of school. I slinked over, wrapping my arms around him, appreciating the warmth and security of his embrace. I loved my mom, but part of me was always going to be a Daddy's Girl.

"You got her back…" I acknowledged, inspecting the work down to the front end.

"Sure did. The damage wasn't too bad – I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

_Not by the accident, anyway. However, the aftermath was slowly killing me._

"What's wrong, kid? I thought you'd be ecstatic to have your ride back so soon. Newton even rushed to get the work done for you so you wouldn't be without it for the holidays."

I worked at producing a meager smile. "No, Dad. It's great. Really." _I just lost the last connection I had to Edward, that's all._

He pursed his lips and exhaled through his nose, his thick mustache twitching in that way that told me he knew something was up. Thankfully, it wasn't in my dad's nature to push.

"Well, how's about you give your old man a ride back home. Angela's sick, so Ben's staying home to take care of her, which leaves me to pick up the swing shift. Will you be alright at home alone for the night?"

I rolled my eyes as I jumped up into the driver's seat. Although he often ended up working the late shift, he always asked – each and every time – if I would be okay while he did.

It had become a family tradition, really.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I hadn't been home more than five minutes when Alice called.

"Hiya!" She answered in her spirited little voice.

"Hey Ali. What's up?"

"Well, I kind of wanted to get Jasper something for Christmas, but I'm new to this whole boyfriend thing, so I don't know what to get him. I was wondering if you would mind helping me pick something out."

It was the first time I had heard her refer to him as her boyfriend – I hadn't known it was official. I smiled blissfully at first, and then scowled when I realized that she was asking the entirely wrong person for advice.

I didn't have boyfriends. As of now, I hadn't even been properly kissed. What the hell was I supposed to know?

"Ali, I don't know…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sure you're busy, it's just…I don't know what I'm doing, Bella! And, you're like a big sister to me. If it weren't for you, Jazz and I never even would have gotten together."

_Not without a little help from an evil Santa, anyways…_

"What's your address?" I sighed in resignation, unable to say no to the little ball of fire.

As I jotted down the information, my mind wandered, pondering the possibilities of "accidentally" running into my favorite shy rebel at work. That was the motivation I needed to run upstairs, get changed, throw on some make-up and splash on some cologne before jumping in the truck to get Alice.

She jabbered on happily as we meandered from store to store looking for just the right gift. I picked up some cologne for my dad as she gave me a thoroughly detailed description of the different colored flecks in Jasper's eyes. In another store, I picked out a tee shirt with a native looking wolf image emblazoned across the front for Jake while she talked about how much she loved running her fingers through his hair. But it wasn't until we entered FYE that she really dropped the doozy.

"Did I tell you he kissed me?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on her, my mouth and eyes opened wide. "What?" I knew she was only feigning disinterest when I realized that she was fingering through a series of Reggae cd's.

She peeked at me out of the corner of her eye before hopping around so that we were face to face. "He kissed me!" She blurted out happily, throwing a hand across her mouth and peering around at the other shoppers when she realized she had said it louder than she meant to.

Once the other shoppers stopped staring, she pried her hand away to continue dishing the details in a low, intense whisper. "I'd never kissed anyone before, so I didn't know what to do but, Bella…he is _such_ a good kisser. His lips were so soft and juicy – _OMG, I just said juicy! – _but they _were_! And, he sorta hummed when he did it, so his lips vibrated a little and it felt fan-freaking-tastic! Can you believe it? My first kiss!"

My heart broke.

I literally felt it shatter into two halves as jealousy ate away at me.

She was fourteen - _just_ fourteen - and she had had her first kiss.

Something must be terribly, terribly wrong with me.

"Bella…are you okay? I…I thought…" I snapped out of it when I realized that her eyes were starting to water. "…I thought you'd be happy for me…"

I lunged, hugging her quickly before the tears could fall.

"Oh, Ali! Of course I'm happy for you! That's terrific!" I cooed, grateful that our embrace disabled her from seeing that my face did not echo the sentiment.

Instead, she took my words at face value and hugged me back fiercely. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Bella. I just had to tell someone and, since you've been there for me from the beginning, I knew you had to be the first one I told."

I plastered a fake smile on my face before I pulled back to look into her eyes. "That's wonderful, Al. I'm really, really happy for you and Jasper. I told you you two would be perfect together!" I egged her on in the most chipper voice I could muster.

With her big secret out of the way, she was able to focus on the task at hand. Turns out that Jasper was a big gamer, so we bought him a new release before leaving the store. She still wanted something more personal, so I suggested that she burn him a mix cd of her favorite songs. When she told me she liked the idea, I didn't tell her I got it from reading magazines written by a bunch of other girls who were happy in love, instead letting her believe that my existence was not as lonely and deprived as it really was.

I didn't realize where we were headed until I found myself staring, mystified by the big neon camera beside the glowing sign that read "Say Cheese".

"Bella? What's up?"

"I'll be right back." I tossed over my shoulder as I walked up to the counter. Seeing the place illuminated by bright fluorescents instead of the dim, warm glow it held the other night made it feel like an alien planet to me instead of the beautiful sanctuary that held my life's most intimate moments with another human being.

I recognized the guy behind the counter immediately – he was also featured in a black and white portrait that hung in the bathroom. "Excuse me, but can I speak to Edward please?"

I had no idea what I would say when I saw him, but I convinced myself that he wouldn't have asked if he would see me at work if he hadn't been looking forward to it.

"I'm sorry, but he's not here." The guy said without interest, immediately going back to scrawling on the form he had been working on.

"Oh. Um, do you know where he's at or when he'll be back?" I was sure the guy was going to label me a stalker, but I reasoned that this was perfectly rational behavior given the moments we had shared over the past couple of days.

"No, he's _not here_. I mean, like, the dude's off today."

That didn't make any sense to me. "Did he call out sick?"

"No, he wasn't scheduled to work today. Should I give him a message for you? Are you, like, his girlfriend or something?"

That stung.

No, I was not his girlfriend. I was not his _anything._

"No, no message, I just thought he told me he'd be here today." The thought suddenly occurred to me that word would get back to him that I had come looking for him, and I suddenly didn't want him to know. "It's not important. I bought a camera from him to give to my little sister." I hitched my thumb over my shoulder towards Alice; she waved at us cheerfully. "Since we were in the area, she just wanted to thank him for the recommendation, since I don't know the first thing about cameras. She was…um…really happy with it, but there's no need to tell him that. I doubt he'll even remember who I am."

Although I knew that was unlikely, those last words rang painfully true to me. He had lied to me…_but why?_ I figured if word got back to Edward, the story I had provided would confuse him so thoroughly that he would have no idea it was me that came looking for him.

The guy shrugged at me, immediately losing interest and returning to his paperwork.

Alice was all questions and curiosity when I got back to her, but I dodged her. Thankfully, it only took one suggestion that we stop by the kiosk to visit Jasper at work for me to distract her.

Once the Santa's Wonderland was in sight, she skipped ahead of me, Jazz's face lighting up as soon as he saw her. My envy aside, they were absolutely adorable – all giddy giggles, flirty smiles and subtle touches.

When I saw Emmet standing at the front of the line taking payments, I figured I'd go over and chat with him to give the two love birds some privacy.

Imagine my horror when the pretty blonde from the diner beat me to the punch. Just as I was about five feet away from him, she swooped in, her hands wrapping around one of his huge biceps as she pulled him down to kiss him quickly. It was innocent enough in front of the kiddies, but the chemistry between them was evident.

"Bella!" Emmet bellowed when he caught me gawking. "You remember Rosalie, right?"

I closed the distance, attempting to hide my shock and disdain. "Of course!" I smiled brightly as I approached them. When I reached them, I shook my head and tsk'd at Rosalie. "Man, I thought you were smarter than to fall for this lug's charms. I had such high hopes for you…" I teased her.

Emmet threw a large arm roughly around her shoulders possessively. "She had me at load of crap." He beamed, squeezing her in the crook of his elbow as he kissed her on the temple.

My stomach was roiling as the envy threatened to pull me under into an all consuming pity party.

"Got something hot and hard in my stocking for you…but it sure as hell ain't coal." Two white gloved hands rested on my waist as he sidled up behind me.

"Get your damn hands off of me." I seethed as I spun around, the envy boiling over suddenly into a blazing rage that shocked even me.

"Ooh, someone's got soot clogging up her chimney. You know, I could help you take care of that…" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

In a sudden burst of anger, I stomped on his foot and shoved him, marching off.

"I'll meet you in the truck, Alice!" I called over my shoulder as I stormed past them, resentful of the loving way she and Jasper were looking at each other.

"You know, I really like that chick. She's got balls…" I heard Rosalie compliment just before I stepped out of ear shot.

I didn't want her admiration.

I _wanted_ Edward.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I tossed and turned miserably last night only to spend the day floating from class to class in a drifting, mindless, moody haze.

The anger, jealousy and despair still clung to my weighted shoulders as I pushed the locker room door open and trudged inside to find the word "Cullen" tattooed in large, bold Old English font across a man's broad, well defined shoulders.

My breath caught in my throat as I watched the guy pull on his red velvet jacket, quickly concealing the tasty glimpse I had just caught of his upper back.

Saliva literally pulled in my mouth at the sight. I had never been like this before, but it seemed like Edward had flipped a freaking switch inside of me and every waking thought now revolved around the satisfaction I would experience from the pleasure that was dangling just out of my reach.

The well built man chose that moment to turn around, dressed from head to toe in full Santa regalia. I was surprised to see that he appeared momentarily worried when he found me standing there, but he quickly recovered. "See something you like?"

I immediately became defiant, my natural defensive mechanism when it came to Jackass Santa. "What the hell is '_Cullen'_ supposed to mean?" I said, sneering on the word.

He cocked an eyebrow as he turned his head subtly to one side. "It's my name." He sounded amused.

"Really? Sounds like your parents were literally gagging when they named you." I couldn't understand why I was being so incredibly mean. Sure he was aggravating, but I was being outright rude and disrespectful and that wasn't like me. Plus, I was absolutely instigating it this time around – he had done nothing to deserve this reaction from me.

Still, I held my ground, stubbornly unable to back down from the fight I had started; adrenaline coursing through my veins.

"Awww, Bella…You disappoint me." He said, standing up and taking a step towards me. "The first rule of being a smart ass is to at least _try_ to appear _smart_; for example, realizing that Cullen is my _last_ name and not my first." I gulped as he towered over me. "But thanks for playing and try again soon!" He called cockily as he sauntered past me and smacked me on the ass.

I was surprised to see how quickly the fire within me burned out once he left the room, immediately replaced with an unexplainable sense of disappointment.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I was nibbling mindlessly on the tip of my pen when a woman with bright blue eyes and wild curls approached the counter with the most handsome little boy I had seen all season. "Hey!" She called out in a high, youthful voice. I could immediately detect a hint of the south in her voice. "I love your outfit." She whispered conspiratorially. "Can I get that here in the mall?"

I laughed…sincerely laughed…for the first time all day. She had a great energy about her and I instantly took a liking to her. "Nope." I leaned over to her, covering my mouth so I could whisper to her where her son couldn't hear. "I'm pretty sure the only place you'll find a get-up like this is at one of the adult stores downtown."

"Sweetie, I have the Adam & Eve catalog memorized and trust me, I've never seen a thing like that." She laughed and it was a joyful, carefree sound that lifted my spirits.

"I'm Gena and this is Zander. Do you think it would be possible for us to get a picture together? We're thinking of using it for our Christmas cards this year." She asked, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling.

"Well, it's supposed to be kids only…" I started to explain.

A robust woman had sat on Santa's lap last year and ended up sending the poor man to the hospital. Ever since then, we enforced a strictly twelve-and-under policy. However, I really liked the lady and she was so small I couldn't picture her doing any damage.

"…but, I'll let you slip through _this _time, since no one else is around to see."

"Oh geez, thanks!" She said happily, pulling out her wallet to pay for the photo. She paid for both her and her son and then slipped me a five dollar tip for breaking the rules.

Zander easily climbed up onto Cullen's right knee while Gena settled onto the left. He did the normal "Have you been good this year?" and "What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?" spiel before repeating the performance for Gena. She smiled wickedly before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

Cullen's eyes shot wide open just as Jasper snapped the picture. I didn't know what she said to him, but the look on his face was absolutely priceless.

Once they got their picture, the mother and son waved as they wandered off to do more Christmas shopping.

I leaned on the podium, happily waiting for our next customer to arrive when someone roughly grabbed my arm, briskly pulling me into Santa's Workshop.

"What the hell was that about?" He fumed. "Kids only, remember?"

His anger caught me totally off guard…as did my body's insane reaction to it.

"Oh, relax _Cullen_. She was tiny – hardly a nutcracker."

His fingers tightened around my arm. "Do you know what she said to me when I asked her what she wanted from Santa?"

"Oh, please…do tell. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat…" I replied sarcastically.

"Just fuck me for Christmas." He seethed.

I cracked up with a deep, soul-cleansing, belly-aching laugh.

"You think that's funny?" He cried out. "Let's see how you like it!" He lunged at me, his hands effortlessly engulfing my wrists and pinning them to the wall above my head, lowering his face so that he was growling in my ear. "So…why don't you just fuck me for Christmas, Bella?"

Every inch of my body was suddenly hyperaware of his nearness. My skin prickled, my face flushed, my nipples hardened. It was uncalled for.

It was insanity.

It was absolutely exhilarating.

"Not laughing now, are you?" He teased sensuously.

With no mind to do so, I struggled against his hold, aching to press my body against his. He moved my wrists so that he could now hold both of them with one hand. With his left hand free, his fingers graced my cheek, down my neck, lightly fondling the curve of my breast and further down onto my thigh. He touched upon the heated skin there momentarily before running his hand up my skirt to cup my ass, a growl rumbling erotically deep inside his chest.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Um guys, we have customers out here. You almost done in there?" Jazz's voice carried warily through the thin faux walls.

He stepped back from me immediately, turning to face the corner as he attempted to collect himself. I smoothed my hands over my outfit trying to rationalize what the hell had just happened and furious with myself for letting it.

My hand reached for the door knob. "You coming?" I asked, struggling to maintain the anger I had started the day with.

He snorted without humor. "Yeah, just give me a minute."

ooo (*O*) ooo

For the next two hours, he stayed on his pedestal while I manned the front podium – managing to avoid each other all the way up to our lunch break.

Unfortunately, lunch had been over for five minutes and he was nowhere in sight.

_Bastard._

I started looking for him, quickly realizing that I was more livid than the situation called for, but unable to do anything to quell the anger.

Just as I rounded the set-up, I spotted a flash of red behind a large decorative column beside the supply closet.

"Santa!" I bellowed as I stormed towards him. "You're late!"

His eyes were panicked. "Shhhh!" He hushed me frantically as I approached him, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into the closet before stepping in after me and closing the door.

"What the hell?" I yelled, crossing my arms as I turned to face him.

"That Twi-Mom with the Santa-fetish is stalking me and the kid's not with her this time!"

"You are so full of shit, Cullen. You really do think you're God's gift to women, don't you? That lady was really nice and hella funny and you'd be _lucky_ to have a woman that beautiful chasing after you!" I spouted, though my stomach churned at the thought of another woman hitting on him.

"She sucked on my earlobe, Bella!" He exclaimed frantically.

My stomach revolted at the thought. "I have a feeling that cougar is capable of things that would make even _me_ blush!"

I was suddenly very tired of this. The tiny space was starting to feel claustrophobic as he magically managed to suck all the air out of the room, leaving me dizzy.

"She sounds like exactly your kind of woman." I reached for the door as I attempted to shoulder my way past him. His hands slipped around my waist, spinning me around so that my back was pressed up against the cool door. Green fire scorched me.

"Have you learned nothing about my taste in women?" He caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Apparently, I like anal retentive, overdramatic, temperamental, prudish little cockteasers."

I slapped his hand away, my blood boiling with a confusing mixture of anger and desire. "Why must you be so damned infuriating?"

He ground his hips against mine, his erection subtly evident beneath the padded belly. "Because you are the sexiest creature on earth when you're pissed off. Watching that fire spark in your eyes is the most erotic foreplay known to man." His fingers drew lazy circles over my collarbone. "I'm not ashamed to say that ripping this costume off of you to follow the flush down your body has been at the center of many a wet dream for me."

I moaned, grabbing the white fluff of his collar to pull him closer as both of his hands quickly dipped beneath my skirt, hitching my legs up around his waist so that the crushed velvet of his costume could tickle the sensitive, needy skin between my legs. His fingertips stroked up my thighs, riding over my backside and squeezing as he pressed against me, fighting against the red, white and green layers that separated us.

He looked up and chuckled. I followed his gaze.

Amidst the myriad of holiday décor, there was one, single, clear plastic tote filled with mistletoe, and it just happened to be located on a shelf that was right above our heads.

I looked back into his eyes and the look I saw there reminded me of something.

_Someone._

"I can't do this!" I cried out, pushing abruptly against his shoulders as I unhooked my legs from around him and climbed off of his fantastic body. "Not like this. Not with you."

Before I could process the rush of emotions, tears were streaming down my face. I spun around, clawing at the door, anxious to get out.

His hand shot out in front of me, his palm slapping flatly against the door, effectively blocking my only escape route. "Just let me go, Cullen." I rested my forehead against the door as the tears fell. "Please, _just let me go."_

His hand caressed up and down my back. "What is it, Bella? What's wrong?" There was not a hint of sarcasm or malice in his voice. The sincerity of his concern and kindness only made the moment more confusing.

"It's not fair. I like someone, but he doesn't want me like you do. And I want this, but not _like_ this, so it's not fair to you. And even though he won't make a move…I just feel like doing this would hurt him, so it's not fair to him." I fisted my hands, banging them against my thighs in a full blown temper tantrum. "It's not supposed to be this freaking complicated!" I cried out.

"Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh…" He hushed me, eveloping one long arm around my waist to draw me towards his chest while the other caressed my hair soothingly. "He wants you, Bella. Trust me on that…he wants you."

"You don't know that…" I clung to his jacket, burying my head against his chest as my tears absorbed into the red fluff. "You _can't_ know that."

His lips pressed gently against my hair. "He'd be an absolute fool not to."

I released my grip on his jacket, sliding my arms beneath his, hugging him tightly around the waist.

"Just, _please_…don't cry." He begged.

I sniffled and laughed lightly, pulling away to look up into his face without releasing my hold on him. "If I knew tears were your kryptonite, I would have pulled them out a lot sooner."

He wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "Kryptonite – that was the hero's downfall. I'm the villain, remember?"

"Someone once told me that villains aren't all bad. I hear they have pretty interesting stories…" I replied.

His eyes drooped in the corners, making it appear that he was frowning. "Just remember – it also holds true that the hero isn't always all good, either. Are you sure this other guy is worth the wait?"

I nodded.

"How do you know?"

I shrugged, unable to find the words. "I just do."

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment – no hostility, mischief, anger or lust present.

"I hope he doesn't disappoint you." He murmured.

"Me too."

He sighed, rubbing his hands briskly up and down my arms. "Ready to get back to work?"

I wiped at my eyes, trying to clear away the mascara that I was sure would be making me look like a raccoon. "Yeah. Don't worry, I'll protect you from the horny Twi-Mom."

"Actually, now that I think about it, you were right. She was definitely a MILF. I just got turned down by this anal retentive, overdramatic, temperamental, prudish little cocktease and I'm kind of on the rebound. I could really use a sure thing."

I smiled at him. "I've got some insider information that assures me she would thoroughly rock your world."

"I'm sure she would, Bella…" His eyes crinkled as he smiled beneath the beard. _"I'm sure she would…"_

_**A/N: I dedicated the kooky Twi-Mom to my beloved Beta. Thanks for being my cheerleader and inspiration!**__  
_

_**A/N: On the fourth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Approximately: 14 Pages / 6,154 Words**_

**Chapter 5**

I was beginning to loathe my days off.

No Edward. No Cullen. And no busy holiday season filled with kids and parents to take my mind off of it.

Instead, I was locked inside my house, moping.

I tried to focus on homework, but my teachers were all in the "holiday spirit", so my work load was light. In actuality, I knew the truth was that they wanted as little work to grade as possible so they could do their own holiday shopping and preparing. It was too bad; I really could have used the distraction.

_Three days._

Edward hadn't spoken to me in three long days.

Of course, it stood to reason that _I_ had not spoken to _him_ in three long days either. In fact, the truth was that he had been the last one to text me and I had not responded.

But, what could I possibly say? The man tied me up in knots and then just left me feeling all breathless, frustrated and naughty. Erm…_knotty._

There was this part of me that was confident that he felt the same way I did. I recognized that burning look in his eyes and, even in my inexperience, I could identify the way his body had reacted to mine during our little photo shoot.

But, another part of me couldn't help but feel that he did not _want_ to feel that way. That was almost more bothersome than if he wasn't attracted to me at all.

If he wasn't attracted to me, sure – that would hurt, but I could deal with it as human nature. I just wasn't his type. But…if I _was_ his type, why was he struggling so hard against it? What was it about me that made him _not_ want to _want_ me?

The pondering and thinking in circles was making my head hurt. So, sure, he was the last one to contact me…but it was obvious that he had some things to work through. I'd just have to wait until he figured it all out for himself.

I sat on the couch, resolved not to make a move, for all of five minutes. Then, I had my cell phone out and a text message sent before I could even logically fathom what I was doing.

I blinked at the message my fingers had typed against my will.

"What are you doing?"

Well, at least my words hadn't betrayed me by revealing how I felt about him or how much I was missing him.

I waited…sitting there, surrounded by the silence of my empty house, staring at the cell phone cradled in my hands like it was a bomb that may detonate at any moment.

But it didn't detonate. It didn't ring. It didn't even chirp.

He had texted me and I had left him hanging.

Now, it was my turn.

The weather had warmed up enough during the day that the water was now falling towards the earth in cold, wet droplets, forming slick ice wherever it touched the still frozen ground. The droplets clung to the bare branches of the trees, racing down the backs of its brothers to form hostile looking icicles. The sky was dark and bleak; the wind howling as it whipped between the raindrops.

I trembled with a cold that struck me from the inside out – an emotional cold tempered by the dreary evening sky. I shuffled over to the fireplace, throwing in a couple of logs and topping them off with a small, blazing matchstick before settling down in front of the building fire to warm up.

The knock at the door caught me completely by surprise.

I stood up, peeking at the clock on my way to see who was standing on the front steps.

_6:30 pm_

I had no idea who it could be.

When I glanced through the side window to see a sodden black leather jacket and bronze hair drenched by the downpour, my heart skipped a beat.

I threw the blanket off of my shoulders and raced around to pull the door open anxiously.

His six foot frame hunched over from the wet and cold; the chill in the air causing his warm breath to puff out in little foggy plumes.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I said as I clutched his forearm to drag him out of the chilly rain. He shivered with a body-quaking tremor.

"You f-f-finally texted m-me." He stuttered.

"You could have just texted me back!" I criticized as I struggled to peel the heavy, damp jacket from his shoulders.

"M-m-my ph-ph-phone died." He said as he convulsed with another cold chill.

I managed to pull the jacket off of him completely, walking towards the fireplace. "If you want, I'm pretty sure my dad has some old sweats or something that you can wear while I put your clothes in the dryer." I offered as I hung his jacket up on a nail to warm and dry in front of the now roaring fire. I spun around to head back to him, only to find that he was now standing only a couple of feet away, his eyes nearly pitch black and hungry in the warm glow of the fire.

His hands crossed in front of him, his fingers clinging to the hem of his shirt as his eyes narrowed on mine. I was transfixed, my eyes locked on his despite my burning desire to stare down as he slowly peeled his shirt off. His hair became a riotous mess as he pulled the wet material over his head, the dripping cloth bunched in one hand as he stared at me with thought-numbing desire.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't blink. Even my breathing was labored.

He opened his fingers, allowing his t-shirt to fall to the floor with a moist sounding thud before easing his fingertips along the waist of his jeans, moving them in towards his navel where his fingers nimbly began maneuvering his belt buckle.

I was panting, staring at him, unable to move or think – wanting so desperately to focus on the way his long, slender fingers moved over the metal and leather but still unable to tear my gaze away from his hypnotic gaze.

I could hear the belt sliding through the buckle, as I literally had to swallow back my desire.

From the corner of my eyes, I watched the way his shoulders moved with the motion of unbuttoning his jeans and sliding down the zipper – mesmerized by the way the toned muscles and smooth flesh flexed with the movement, his eyes never once leaving mine.

He kicked off his shoes and my heart began thundering in my ears. I was nervous and anxious and insecure, but absolutely powerless to stop whatever was happening. I wanted it…_him_…too badly for my own good.

From never even being kissed, I was ready to give it all up – to defy everything I had known and believed in - to share this heated moment with him. My mind shouted warnings, every after school special I had ever seen flashing through my memory, but my body was screaming even louder and its simple message was much more intoxicating.

_Want._

He slowly sauntered over to me, his hips swaying slightly with his erotic swagger, until his hands reached out for me, grazing over my hip bones. There was a question in his eyes – asking permission. He searched my face for signs of hesitancy, doubt, fear…and proceeded to slip his fingers up under my shirt when he saw none.

Goosebumps raced across my creamy skin beneath his electric touch, my nipples aching against the resistance of my top. When I felt his fingers wander around the curve of my breast I jumped slightly, having forgotten that I wasn't wearing a bra because I was already dressed for bed. There was nothing between his skin and mine except that sweet, addictive electricity.

My head lolled back as he brought his thumb around the swell of my breasts to rub my nipples in tight circles. He dipped his head down, holding my breasts and sucking them into his mouth one by one, the cool, damp material rubbing briskly against my sensitive skin as he pulled away.

I don't know where I went after that, but Bella wasn't home anymore. Not the Bella I had ever known, anyway.

In her place was a temptress – a sexual woman with incredible desires and needs that could be tamed behind a shy, innocent façade no longer. I wanted this man. I _needed_ him. On me. _In me._ Every inch of my being – mind, body and soul – were being pounded by a hunger so deep and powerful and overwhelming that I hadn't even been aware I was capable of _containing_ all of it in my small frame.

I felt fierce and wild. Uninhibited.

I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and digging my fingers into his hair as I had been longing to since I first met him.

In the corner of my mind, a tiny voice reminded me that that was not so long ago, but the savage beast I was becoming snarled too loudly for me to hear.

His hands went back to my waist, gripping my shirt and tearing it haphazardly over my head so that I could now feel the warmth of the fireplace against my bare back.

I greedily slid my hands down his chest and rock hard abs, slipping them easily into the waist band of his jeans and forcing the wet denim down his long, strong, lean legs.

He pushed me backwards slightly as he struggled to step out of them, his hands slipping into my satin pajama bottoms to ease the smooth material over the curve of my ass and down my legs.

We stood there in front of the fire, clothes strewn over the floor with nothing but a pair of skimpy panties and wet boxers between us, clawing at each other as we struggled to get closer, feasting on the other's sweet lips with a passion that dwarfed the fire burning behind us.

I took his tongue into my mouth - felt the smooth metal bar of his piercing stroking seductively against my tongue - and a similar feeling stirred below my waist; an aching need to draw another part of him deep within my body. I had never felt it before, but it was easily recognizable.

In that moment, he slipped his hand down my side, over my hip and down my leg, wrapping his fingertips behind my knee and hitching my leg up over his hip. He was a head taller than me, so it was a little awkward at first, but soon he repeated the maneuver on the other side so that my legs were now wrapped around his thick torso, his own heated desire pressing right into my core, setting my entire body ablaze.

Whenever I thought I couldn't possibly feel any _more_…I simply could not be capable of more desire and hunger and want, he would take me one step closer and the new inferno would make the old one seem like a subtle spark. I squeezed my legs around him, grinding our hips together, struggling to feel him the way I needed to. The friction made him growl animalistically as he arched his back and gripped my ass, pulling me harder against him, causing my breasts to slide over his naked chest. The feel of his chest hair against my nipples was yet another sensory overload as I threw my head back and moaned.

I brought my face back down, my fingers pulling on his hair to make him look me in the eye.

He was ravenous. _For me._

I hadn't seen the look before, but I instinctively knew that it was the same way I was looking at him.

It yelled "_Take me now!"_

He started walked, moving me backwards, assumedly so that he could brace against the wall.

My center clenched with anticipation, the knot in my stomach threatening to tear me in two.

As we backed up, I came across something soft instead of the stone work I expected to feel.

Suddenly, in addition to Edward's heated, searching palms, I felt two cloth-covered hands wrapping around my waist from behind and moving up to cup my breasts.

Edward pushed into me, his hard bulge pushing right against my sweet spot as a second, unexpected bulge pushed against my backside.

Soft hair tickled across my back and neck as the man behind me leaned forward to nibble on my ear. "Looks like you're going on the naughty list after this one, Bella…But then again, I always knew exactly what I planned on putting in your stockings…"

My eyes widened incredulously as I turned to look over my shoulder.

"Santa?"

ooo (*O*) ooo

I woke up on the couch panting and completely drenched in sweat.

_What the hell was that?_

I had never had a fantasy before…much less something that erotic…with someone I knew…with _two_ people I knew!

_I just had an erotic dream about a threesome with Santa Claus! What the hell is wrong with me?_

Thank God my Dad wasn't home…

It had felt so incredibly real, my body was flushed – my breathing still erratic. Needless to say, the entire situation was discombobulating. It felt like an out of body experience and, although awake, I was still waiting to come back to earth.

I headed upstairs for a shower – possibly the very first cold shower I had ever taken. If things kept going the way they were going…and I was seriously starting to doubt there would be any changes soon – I had a feeling it wasn't going to be my last.

The stinging cold of the water shocked me back into myself – at least, the overwhelmingly horny, sexually frustrated, inexperienced virgin that I had become as of late.

I desperately needed a distraction.

With my homework done, I considered relaxing and watching some tv, but I couldn't find anything that piqued my interest. When a commercial came on for cookies, I finally got the idea to do some baking.

Whenever we had a bad day, my mom and I used whip something up in the kitchen. We would make a mess and argue over who was going to clean it up, but we always had so much fun dancing around, joking and snacking in the process.

I loved living with my dad – he didn't hover, so it was nice to be independent. It felt a lot like living on my own. But, it was moments like these that I missed my mom. She was terrific – very straightforward, open minded and honest. I could have told her all about Edward and my desire to be kissed and she would have had just the right thing to say.

Instead, she was across the country with her new husband and I was going to attempt to recreate a mother-daughter bonding moment without the actual mother.

_Someone should make a Hallmark Card for this kinda shit – I can totally see the commercial for it now._

I had most of the ingredients for cookies spread out on the counter top when I heard my phone chirp from the living room. I raced out, too anxious to get it for my own good.

"Sorry for the delay. At work. Missing you. Hoping you're not still mad."

Before I had time to think it through, my fingers began frantically typing a response.

But he was faster.

"Trying to figure out what I did wrong…"

And then another: "Or more importantly, how to make it right."

My heart was doing flip-flops in my rib cage.

I didn't know what to say. I knew why I was mad, but I also recognized that it was illogical to be mad at him for not kissing me like I was so desperate for him to. So, instead of saying too much, I typed "Missing you too."

Once again, he was faster to respond than I would have imagined. "Can I see you?"

"Wanna come over after work?"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door. I pulled the old, yellowed lace curtain aside from the kitchen window to spot a familiar black motorcycle in the freshly fallen snow on my lawn.

"I thought you would never ask." He texted back.

My heart was working over time, hammering in my chest like it was building a freaking railroad.

I raced out of the kitchen, pausing on the other side of the door to calm myself. I tucked some loose strands of hair behind my ear and smoothed my hands over my royal blue sweater before waiting anxiously with my hand on the knob.

I slowly opened the door just as he brought his hand up to knock again and looked up into his beautiful face. The snow, the trees, the sun, the whole entire world faded away with the radiance of his smile.

"Hi." He breathed.

I had to swallow before I could find my voice. "Hi."

We stood there in the doorway, simply staring at each other for an eternity. With one simple glance, he shook me up like a snow globe, and it was as if I couldn't function again until all the crazy ideas, fantasies, emotions and hormones had time to drift back to the bottom, clearing my head for rational thought.

"Oh! I'm sorry, come on in." I opened the door wide, stepping back out of his way and admiring the long strides and flex of his hips as he strode past me into the house.

The sweater was a bad idea as I was suddenly burning up from head to toe and wishing for my satin boxers and tank top; something cool and lightweight to help dissipate this incredible heat.

"Um…you want something to drink?"

He slipped off his jacket and wiped at the dampness on his forehead. "Um, sure – something cold. Ice water?"

Maybe my dad had the heater up too high. I took Edward's jacket, hanging it up on the hook beside the door and leading the way towards the kitchen, stopping momentarily to check the thermostat.

_Hmm…the heat wasn't even on. That's strange._

I busied myself pulling two glasses out of the cupboard, filling them with ice and placing them on the island before burying my head in the fridge to find the water pitcher and the fruit punch I had stored somewhere near the back.

As I started to back out of the fridge with the two items, I backed into Edward's tall, solid frame, spinning around quickly so that we were face to face.

He took the drinks from me and placed them on the island before turning back around and gripping my upper arms, rubbing gently up and down from my shoulders to my elbows.

"Bella – I'm sorry. I swear to you, I didn't mean any disrespect on Sunday."

The intensity in his eyes, his mouthwatering fragrance, his radiating heat – it was all making it nearly impossible for me to focus. I shook my head. "What are you talking about?"

He flushed as he lowered his gaze, seemingly unable to look me in the eyes. "During the photo shoot. I was trying to be professional…I never meant to make you uncomfortable." He looked absolutely pained by it all.

"I…" I struggled to confess what I knew I needed to in order to make him feel better. "Edward…" My mouth continued to open and close like a fish out of water until I finally found the words I thought would make him understand without being too humiliating. "The only thing that made me uncomfortable was that _you_ were uncomfortable."

His brow furrowed as his eyes suddenly searched mine. "You weren't-"

I could feel my face, neck and chest turn crimson, as did my thoughts. I turned away from him, fighting back the embarrassment. "Please don't make me say it." I whispered.

His large hand cupped my cheek as he turned my face back towards his, comfort and understanding apparent on his features. "So, you're not mad?"

I looked down again, still unable to address what was bothering me. "Self conscious, maybe. Embarrassed. Not mad." That was as close to the truth as I was going to be able to get.

His hands glided down my arms, his fingers wrapping around my hands and bringing them up between us as his eyes torched mine. "Well then, I'm sorry. Just don't disappear on me again, okay?"

I bit my lip nervously as I nodded, his eyes glued to mine as he lowered his face to skim his lips across my knuckles. It was incredibly sensual in its sweetness, but it only made me long for his lips in other places even more.

"So, what do you have planned for this afternoon?" He asked, his eyes still holding mine, his breath still heating the back of my hands.

"Cookies?" I mumbled.

"Cookies?" He replied, one eyebrow arched seductively.

"Um…before I invited you over, I was going to bake some cookies. Do you like to bake?"

_Yeah, Bella, cuz every hot, leather-clad, pierced biker likes to play Betty Crocker on his day off._

I silently wished for a moment of solitude and a flat surface to bang my head against.

He smiled at me warmly. "Well, I've never baked myself, but I used to like sitting in the kitchen when my mom baked. She used to let me sample the batter or help stir and stuff. I used to love the way the kitchen started to smell when she put everything in the oven. It's one of my favorite holiday memories."

Before I realized it, I was smiling broadly as images of happy, little boy Edward filled my head.

"So, when do we start?" He asked with a mischievous smirk on his pretty lips.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I stood there, surrounded by a sugar and flour war zone, trying to remember how it had all gone so wrong.

Baking with Edward started out tame enough. He sat on a stool on the other side of the island, calling out the ingredients to me while I raced around the kitchen getting everything we needed.

I retrieved the parchment paper from beneath the sink only to turn around in time to find him munching on the peppermint and chocolate chips, looking like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"What?" he asked innocently, biting back his smile.

"You're a lost cause, Edward." I joked.

He cocked his eyebrow in that way that liquefied my girlie parts. "Oh, if you only knew, Bella."

I followed the instructions as he read them out loud, cracking open the eggs, measuring out the flour, sugar, oil and vanilla extract to his specifications. I pulled out the electric mixer and dipped the beaters into the mixture, turning it on just as Edward began pelting me with chocolate chips. He caught me off guard, causing me to turn the beater on full blast as I stepped back, trying to dodge his attack.

The beaters began spinning wildly, flinging egg and flour and sugar and oil all over the place.

I turned it off as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. Edward and I, along with the island and the linoleum floor, were all covered in cookie ingredients as we broke into a maniacal fit of laughter.

"What the hell, Edward!" I gasped, grabbing a handful of peppermint chips and throwing them at him.

He looked agape, only to swipe one finger along the edge of the bowl, collecting dewy, unmixed batter and smearing it down my nose.

I stuck the tips of four fingers into the bowl, bringing them up to smear war paint-like smudges beneath his eyes. He smirked at the challenge and picked up the bowl, stalking towards me with wicked intentions.

I put my hands up in surrender. "Edward…no…" I cautioned, slowly backing away from him. He smiled wickedly and I could feel an familiar moisture pooling between my legs. "Edward…" I cautioned, my eyes darting around me for an escape route. He recognized the look and lunged, dumping the rest of the contents over my hair.

I yelped, spun around and raced up the stairs, giggling the entire way as he continued to trip over his long legs, keeping me just out of his reach.

I lunged for the bathroom door, barely making it inside before his arm darted out between the door and the door frame, pushing it open with a huge smile on his face. "Oh no you don't!" He yelled as he barged into the bathroom, only seconds after I had removed the flexible shower head.

"Don't take another step. I have a hose and I know how to use it!" I warned, one hand on the water knob and the other pointing the hose directly at him.

His eyes darkened dangerously and his lips twisted in a sardonic grin that looked terribly familiar while also looking incredibly out-of-place on his face. Like it was a smirk I had seen on someone else.

"Oh, Bella…" He crooned in a low, unfamiliarly familiar voice. "I have a hose and I know how to use it, too." My mouth dropped open as I watched him slowly saunter over to me with a cocky little stride. "I can show you sometime if you want to give me a chance."

_Holy Hell, that's hot!_

But…but…but….it sounded so unlike my Edward! I could feel my eyebrows furrowing deeply over my eyes as I tried to figure it all out. Something in my head was screaming that this was important, but I couldn't hear it over the rejoicing of my obnoxious, over-eager girlie parts.

I don't know how long I was lost in thought, but Edward had stepped into the tub with me and was carefully disarming me, hanging the shower head back up in its cradle and caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Bella? Are you okay?" _This_ was the Edward I knew. The soft, sweet, over-protective, gentle Edward.

Maybe that was all just another part of my over active imagination?

My little afternoon fantasy came flooding back to me and I could feel my body heat with the tell-tale signs of my blush.

Dear God, if it wasn't bad enough that I had had a sexual dream about Edward, I had had a sexual dream about Cullen too…_at the same time_! I suddenly felt dirty, and it had nothing to do with the cookie dough I was covered in.

"Bella, you're worrying me. What's wrong?" Edward was cradling my face in my hands, bending his knees so that he could look me in the eye.

I pouted, trying to formulate a quick cover up for my errant thoughts. "This was my favorite sweater." I moped, hoping to distract him. He hugged me tightly, rocking me back and forth as he laughed. "Why don't you get cleaned up in here?" I suggested, goosebumps chasing up and down my arms from the odd similarities to this afternoon's dream. I slipped out of his arms and stepped over the side of the tub, bending down to retrieve a clean wash cloth from beneath the sink. "I'll bring you some of my dad's old sweats for you to wear while I throw your clothes in the laundry."

I quickly handed him the cloth before padding out into the hallway and over to my dad's room. It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for – I had pretty much been doing all of the laundry since I moved in over a year ago.

I pulled the gray sweats and Seattle Seahawks' sweat shirt out of the second drawer before pushing it closed with a bump of my hip. Edward was splashing some water on his face as I turned the corner, studying his features in the mirror. He jumped nervously a split second later when he noticed me standing there, spinning around to face me and tripping subtly over his discarded shirt.

Seeing Edward dripping and shirtless was even more fantastic than I had imagined and I felt my body beginning to respond in the same feverish way it had this afternoon. My breath caught in my throat and I was literally salivating as I studied the dips and shadows of his chest and abs. It took me a good minute before I realized I was very obviously ogling, but his expression held no amusement or embarrassment. Instead, I came to notice that he was _watching_ me watching him…his full lips were parted with his shallow, labored breath; his eyes dark, nipples erect and gaze intense.

I was frozen in place, holding my father's clothes in my hands like the servant who carried Cinderella's glass slipper on the fancy pillow.

He swaggered over – slow, confident and sensual – taking the clothes from me and laying them down quietly on the closed toilet lid. He then took my hands, pulling me with him as he walked backwards, leading me towards the vanity.

Once in front of the sink, he ran the wash cloth under the water, wringing out the excess before bringing the damp cloth up to my face.

His placed his right hand beneath my chin, using the side of his fingers to gently prompt me to tilt my head up and slightly backward. I did as he wanted without speaking, closing my eyes as he used his left hand to run the cloth over my wild, sticky hair, washing away the flour and sugar.

I was standing close enough that I could feel the heat of his body through my sweatshirt. My mind shut down in an effort to pool all my resources to simply _feel_ him. No sound, no sight…just _feel._

_Feel_ the soft, smooth skin of his fingers along my throat.

_Feel_ the tenderness with which he was now washing my face – caressing softly over my brow, my temples, down my cheeks and jaw.

_Feel_ the unspoken desire in his finger tips as he traced over my pouty bottom lip, his thumb stroking my mouth open slightly.

_Feel _his breath wash over my face as he leaned in close…_so very close._ His perfect, sweet, soft mouth was so very near that I could almost imagine that he was leaning in for the kiss I so desperately needed for the sake of my sanity.

Instead I could feel his lips hovering near my mouth, across my cheek and up my jaw until he nuzzled his stubbled cheek against mine.

"All better." He husked into my left ear, the gritty sound of his voice making me tremble quite noticeably.

I don't know how long we stood like that – cheek to cheek, his left hand cradling my face as his warm breath fogged against my ear. "You should get changed." I whispered, unwilling to move.

"As should you." He whispered in return, turning his head just enough that I could feel his lips slide against the corner of my jaw. He lowered his face and hands so that his forehead was resting on my collarbone, near the crook of my throat and his fingers were gripping onto my hip bones.

I was so completely lost in the moment; so absolutely riveted by his every move that I felt as if I might be coming apart at the seams – completely unraveling beneath his touch.

I wanted to thread my fingers into his hair like I had dreamed – to crash my lips against his and take what it was that I wanted – yet I was frozen in place, entirely unable to move, bound by his indecision.

He squeezed my hips once and suddenly released me, stepping away and straightening up with a resolution on his face.

It was a look I already recognized. It told me that, once again, I was not going to get my kiss.

"I'll change in my room and meet you downstairs." I muttered, backing out with my head down, hoping that he wouldn't see my disappointment as I closed the bathroom door behind me. He made no move – no attempt to chase me or stop me.

It was probably for the best.

I changed into a ratty old shirt and pajama bottoms, hoping I wouldn't feel so rejected if I looked the part. At least then I could pretend I hadn't tried so hard.

I shuffled down the stairs, throwing his jeans and shirt into the washer with my clothes before meandering into the kitchen to clean up our mess. I found Edward on his hands and knees using a dishtowel to mop up the last of the mess.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning up our mess…" he smiled a charming, boyish grin at me.

"You didn't have to do that!" I choked out, dropping to my knees, trying to wrangle the dish towel from his hand and failing miserably.

"You're washing my clothes for me. It's the least I could do." He offered. "And baking me cookies." He added.

"Baking you cookies?" I asked, surprised.

"Well," he shrugged, "I _did_ just get just clean your kitchen on my hands and knees. I mean, baking me some cookies is the least you could do." He flashed another charming grin my way.

"Well, when you put it like that…" I teased, quickly snatching the dish towel, rolling it up and snapping it in his direction.

He sat on the bar stool and talked to me as I whirled around the kitchen putting together a batch of peppermint and chocolate chip Christmas cookies. We chatted about our childhood pets, our parents, his little sister, my step father and everything in between.

Once the last batch of cookies was out of the oven, I grabbed a small holiday set I had pulled out of our Christmas storage and piled on cookies, pouring some milk into two matching Santa mugs and leading him out to the living room.

While our clothes tumbled around together in the dryer, we ate warm cookies, drank cold milk and sang our favorite Christmas Carols, mumbling along or making up words when we couldn't remember the lyrics.

Before I knew it, the plate and mugs were empty, the fire was dying down and the dryer was buzzing, signaling the end of our night together.

I walked him to the door, wanting terribly to avoid the awkward moment when I would want him to kiss me good night and he wouldn't.

You can't avoid the inevitable.

The weird silence hit as I leaned against the open door while he stood in the doorway, looking back and forth between my face and the swirling wind outside as indecision streamed across his face. I took a deep breath and bit the bullet, stepping forward and throwing my arms around his middle, burying my head against his chest as I hugged him tightly. "Thanks for coming over. This was fun." I offered in my best _I'm-completely-okay-with-the-fact-that-you're-not-kissing-me_ voice.

He wrapped one long arm around my shoulders, the other hand starting at the top of my head and sliding over my hair, pulling me even more tightly against his chest. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my hair, holding his lips against my scalp momentarily before finally pulling away.

It wasn't what I wanted, but it was a start.

I smiled as he stepped back, turning towards the chilly night. "Text me when you get home." I called out as I watched him strut out. He flashed a dazzling smile before slipping on his helmet and straddling the bike. My heart soared as I watched him ride away.

ooo (*O*) ooo

"I'm home. When did you put the cookies in my satchel?" I grinned giddily when I received his text.

"While you were changing."

"You're incredible." He replied.

"Well, you're not so bad yourself." I conceded.

_Understatement of the frigging year._

"Can I tell you a secret?"

My heart skipped a beat as my jaw dropped, my fingers missing the keys in my frantic rush to reply. "Of course."

"Don't tell my mom, but these are the best freaking cookies ever!"

I laughed – partially at his joke and partly out of giddiness that he liked my baking, but I mostly laughed at myself for getting my hopes up.

So, I still hadn't gotten my kiss and I still didn't know where I stood with him, but I couldn't help feeling a little bit better for simply having been able to spend some time with him.

Funny how baking with mom was helpful, even if mom wasn't there. I definitely needed to give her a call tomorrow – it had been too long.

"G'nite Edward." I texted with a contented little sigh.

"Good night Bella."

_**A/N: On the fifth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Approximately: 13 Pages / 5,930 Words**_

**Chapter 6**

I had been kissed. It wasn't the passionate, frenzied lip-lock I wanted, but he pressed his lips against my hair and that was more than I had the day before.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

That is why I woke up in a terrific mood Tuesday morning.

I closed my eyes while I showered, remembering the way Edward had looked in this very room – wet, shirtless and hungry…_for me_. No, he hadn't made a move, but there was no doubting the look in his eyes.

Mike had liked me for a while. Tyler saw me as some sort of conquest. But, the look in Edward's eyes was different. I felt…_desired._

Just thinking the word made me giggle. I know it was silly – it's just an ordinary word, except that it's not a word you ever hear in normal conversation. People say "I _want_ to buy that new dvd", or "I _would like to have_ a sports car one day."

No one ever says "I desire an English Muffin." It just doesn't work.

So, although there is nothing particularly dirty about the word, it always makes me think of sex and romantic novels and therefore, it makes me giggle and blush.

However, no matter how cringe-worthy the word may be, my word choice remains the same because there is no other term I can think of to explain the way he makes me feel.

_Desired._

I giggled as I slipped on my red and white candy-striped bra and panty set because it reminded me of the peppermint chips we had used in the cookies.

I giggled as I walked down the stairs because I noticed that Edward had left a dusty hand print on the banister when he chased me the night before.

I giggled when I saw the rest of the cookies sitting in a Tupperware container on the counter because I remembered how silly he looked when he tried to sneak a cookie behind my back, only to discover it was too hot when he burned his mouth.

It was beginning to look like it was going to be a giggly, giddy day.

I thought "_Great, I'm turning into one of 'those' girls."_

Then, I even giggled at that.

I weaved through school on a euphoric high, wondering how it could possibly get any better when he really kissed me for the first time.

And Edward was going to be my first real kiss – I was _sure_ of it. I just had to be patient, which was a lot freaking harder than it sounded. My girlie bits were executing an all out riot, throwing down the protest signs and becoming quite violent whenever Edward was within ten feet of me. Last I heard, they were planning a mutiny against my thighs – the slogan of their campaign was "divide and conquer."

I was so lost in my infatuation that I ended up running late to work, racing into the ladies' room and changing as quickly as possible. I cursed out loud when I realized I had left my stockings in my locker, carelessly tossing my clothes into my bag and racing towards the locker room with my legs bare.

I tore my locker open, snatching the stockings out before launching my bag in and slamming the door. The only available place to sit was a haggard wooden bench. The stockings were durable, but the splinters sticking out from the wood were sure to snag them, if not tear up my legs in the process, so I had little choice but to bend over and attempt to slip the hose over my feet while standing up.

It was in this position - bent over, touching my toes with my candy-striped ass bared to the world – that I found myself when Cullen walked into the locker room.

"Ho, ho, _ho!"_ He greeted suggestively, not even attempting to sound like Santa or hide his amusement.

I attempted to straighten up quickly, my hands dodging behind me to pull my skirt down, except that I hadn't had time to pull the stockings up yet. With the hosiery wrapped around my ankles and my hands preoccupied covering my butt, there was little I could do to save myself as I teetered off balance. I fell backwards onto the splintery bench and further as the law of inertia proved too strong a force for me to defeat. With my hands over my ass, it rounded off my bottom in a way that made me continue rolling right off the flat surface, my shoulders shifting past the edge of the bench and my feet leaving the ground as I continued my head-first decent towards the dirty locker room floor.

There was a solid _thud_ before the world went black.

ooo (*O*) ooo

"Bella, are you alright?"

I was no longer up-ended, but I wasn't flat on the dirty ground either. However, I couldn't quite bring myself to open my eyes and figure the rest out.

"Bella, I need you to talk to me or I'm going to have to go get Aro." I recognized the voice now. It was Cullen. I recognized the soft crushed velvet of his suit as it brushed against my arms and legs.

_I was in evil Santa's arms._

My eyes shot open.

"I'm fine." I coughed out, even as the world spun around me.

"Bella, you hit your head pretty hard. You blacked out and everything." He pressed on.

"I'm fine, really." I insisted, attempting to push myself up out of his lap and giving up immediately when I realized it was fruitless. "Please, don't tell Aro. He'll make me go to the first aid station to get checked out, and then the entire mall will know." Just like nutcracker Santa last year.

_That poor man will never live that down. He travels out of the city whenever he wants to go shopping now, and that wasn't even his fault!_

"Okay…I won't tell Aro on one condition." I tried to cock my eyebrow at him suspiciously, but it made my head hurt. "Let me check you out and make sure you'll be alright."

I rolled my eyes at him and winced when it made my head throb. "Check me out. I get it. Good one."

I put my hands on his knees, attempting to push myself up, but he wrapped his arms around me tighter, holding me in place.

"I'm serious, Bella. I _heard_ you hit your head, and your legs are all scratched up. I'm not going to agree to be quiet if I think there's any way you are really hurt." This wasn't like savage Claus at all. No sexual innuendos? No copping a feel while I was too weak to fight back? No cracks about my…um…well…crack?

Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.

"I promise, no funny business. I just want to make sure you're alright." I looked up into his green eyes and saw the same sincerity he had shown me as I cried the other day. "You scared me for a minute there." I nodded slightly and it sent my head spinning once again.

"Can you stand up for a minute?" With his assistance, I climbed off his lap and managed to stand up on my feet, thankful that he had already pulled the stockings off from around my ankles. He rose up beside me, grabbing a black t-shirt and laying it over the wooden bench before guiding me to sit on top of it so that the splinters wouldn't hurt my legs. I sat still as he walked around the bench to stand behind me, his hands tenderly parting my hair as he scrutinized my scalp.

"So, what…are you a doctor or something? Brain surgeon by day, mall Santa by night?" I teased, uncomfortable with him being so…_nice._ Something about it just didn't feel natural.

He chuckled lightly. "I don't have to be a brain surgeon to tell if you've got a bloody bump on your head." There was silence for a moment before he muttered a lame "_Dork_."

I smiled, oddly reassured by the fact that he was at least _attempting_ to be a jackass.

"Well, I just don't want you thinking that searching for one 'bump' will give you any privileges with the others, alright?" I clenched my eyes when I realized what a terrible breast reference that was. I was really starting to think I may have sustained serious brain injury in the fall – my sarcasm had definitely taken a hit.

"Aw, that's cute. You made a boob joke." He mocked. "And you didn't even try to refer to them as your 'lovely lady lumps'. I am so thoroughly impressed right now." His voice was saccharine sweet in its falseness. "Now why don't you just press those pretty little lips together for me so I can finish my futile search for signs of intelligent life?"

Aw, there was the Santa I knew and loved. _Ready to come out and play?_

_Dear God, what in the world am I saying?_

I loathe him! He's annoying and obnoxious and crude and disrespectful…

…_and now he's kneeling at your feet, those gorgeous green eyes looking up at you as his fingers are wrapping around your ankle._

"What are you doing?" I croaked, my voice coming out in strangled shock.

"Well, I would worry the fall caused brain damage if you didn't always sound like this," he sighed in exasperation as he rolled his eyes, "but once again, I am checking you out for injuries." With his fingers cradling my left ankle, he slowly raised my foot and lowered his head, scrutinizing the joint carefully before his eyes slowly began to wander up along the back of my leg.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure my legs weren't affected when I hit _my_ _head_, you know?"

He shook his head and let out another sigh. "Stay here for a minute, and stop trying to come up with sarcastic remarks before you hurt yourself." He stood up, wandering past me behind the wall of lockers only to come back a moment later carrying a small, thin box. He quickly resumed his position at my feet and began fiddling around with the little kit. A second later, he raised his hands high enough that I could see him peel off his Santa gloves and, for reasons I could not begin to explain, seeing his bare hands was a turn on. His eyes, his back and his hands – that was all I had ever seen of him, and each and every one of them had the same troubling effect on my equilibrium.

A moment later, his warm fingertips grazed my ankle as he carefully lifted my leg, placing my foot on his shoulder. The position made it very difficult for me to maintain any level of decency, but I struggled to clench my thighs together modestly.

_Divide and conquer! Divide and conquer! _My girlie parts cheered.

_Wrong guy!_ My heart yelled back.

Cullen dipped his head sideways to get a closer look at my leg, his head awkwardly close to the apex of my thighs. I closed my eyes, attempting to focus on my breathing…on _anything_ except for the numerous things that were wrong with this situation. Therefore, I didn't see it when he brought his right hand up to steady my thigh while his left leg trailed a cool, wet cloth down the back of my leg. The subtle stinging sensation made my eyes open wide just in time to see him lay a piece of gauze on the bench beside me, faded red marks revealing the blood he had just wiped from the back of my leg.

Then with his head still tilted and low to my body, he leaned in close enough for his fake beard to tickle my knee…_and blew._ His breath caused goosebumps to break out along my legs as the cooling breeze stopped the mild stinging of the alcohol. My heart lurched into my throat and everything south of my waist was suddenly frenzied.

_Want._

He's not the right guy!

_Waaant!_

Edward, not Santa!

_Waaaaaaaaaant!_

I leaned backward, gripping the other edge of the bench with my hands in order to steady myself comfortably as he set my left leg down and turned his attentions to the right.

I tried to focus on steadying my breathing and my pulse.

_Breathe in as he lifts my leg and places my foot on his shoulder._

_Breathe out as his fingers graze down the outside of my leg and those fierce eyes zero in on my inner thigh._

_Bum-bum as he slides the soaked gauze down the back of my leg._

_Bum-bum as he blows a soothing cool breath along the wet trail._

"The scratches aren't too bad. They've already stopped bleeding, but it looks like you may have some splinters. Can you move over so that you're sitting on your side?"

_Holy hell, will this ever end?_

I took a deep breath, biting back the overwhelming embarrassment at the fact that the position would most assuredly give him another glimpse of my undies.

_Why him? _If this had to happen, why couldn't it have happened in front of Alice or Jacob?

I swallowed deeply when it occurred to me that I wouldn't want…I _didn't_ want it to be anyone else.

He lowered his head; his fingers wandering up and down over my smooth, taut flesh as he carefully inspected the scrapes, gently removing any splinters he found along the way.

"How does it look?" I asked, needing to break up the deafening silence.

He motioned for me to roll back over so that I was back in a sitting position; his hand still wrapped high up my thigh. "Perfect." He crooned, his hand sliding down my thigh until he was cradling the back of my calf.

I was trapped by his gaze, unable to turn away from his eyes to see what it was he was doing until he, himself, looked down. I gasped when I realized that he was slipping the toe of my stocking over my foot. "Y-y-you don't have to do that." I corrected, leaning down to take the stocking from him.

Although my head wasn't swimming as badly as it was at first, I managed to lean forward too quickly, losing my balance and nearly falling off the bench into his arms. Instead, he caught me promptly, holding me until I was able to steady myself back on the bench.

"Allow me." He said. I watched as his smoldering eyes altered, transforming back into the mischievous green I had become accustomed too, sparkling with his naughty hidden agenda. "Consider this my reward for being so well behaved all this time."

It was what I did next that convinced me I needed to go to the hospital for a cat scan. With the stocking already up to my left ankle, I raised my leg up and out of his hand, only to bend my knee and rest my pointed toe on his shoulder. In retrospect, I wouldn't be surprised if he was able to get another good look at my candy-striped panties in the process.

The fire burned anew in his eyes, scorching the mischievous twinkle to ash. He pushed the stocking up to mid-calf before I stopped him.

"Naw-aw-aw." I teased, liking this new little game too much for my own good. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

His breathing hitched as he raised an eyebrow in question. With my left foot still on his shoulder, I leaned back on the bench again to raise my right leg into the air, pointing my toe directly in front of him to suggest that he needed to put the hose on the other foot as well.

He leaned forward so that my toe was pressing into the soft white fluff of his suit jacket and dipped his head towards my ankle, skimming his nose from my ankle bone and up my calf, the white strands of his beard tickling along the way. I clenched my thighs more tightly together, suddenly very self conscious that he might see the moisture that was beginning to pool between my legs. My face flushed as I suddenly realized what I was doing, but it was too late now – I couldn't have stopped myself even if I wanted to.

He pushed my right foot down a bit so that he could slip the other toe over it, wrapping his fingers around my ankle to shimmy the hosiery up my calf.

And so it went – first one leg, then the other…inch by painstaking inch. When he finished with my calves, his fingers slid behind my knees and, unexpectedly, pulled so that I slid almost entirely off the bench, my knees now pressed up against either side of his chest. The only thing keeping him from pushing up completely between my knees was the mesh of hosiery that stretched across the divide.

Still, his hands wandered higher up my legs, pushing the netted material up my thighs...under my skirt…and finally, up over my hips. His torso was almost entirely between my legs now, his face only inches away from my belly as he looked up at me from beneath his long lashes. I didn't even attempt to hide my panting anymore – we were beyond that. It was too much…first Edward…now Santa…I couldn't even begin to conceal it any longer.

I reached out for his beard, wanting to slide it off and reveal his face for the first time, but he caught my hand in the process. "Naw-aw-aw. Aren't you forgetting something?"

My brows furrowed in absolute confusion.

"We're about thirty minutes late for work now. If we don't get out of here soon, they're bound to come looking for us and, as much as I'd love to rip your clothes off of you, it just seems a waste after I took all that time getting you dressed." He stood up briskly, picking everything up before strolling towards the locker room door, throwing out the garbage and laying the first aid kit haphazardly on a small table. He turned back to me one more time, the familiar sparkle back in his eyes as he slipped on his white gloves. "However, I love peppermint." His eyes crunched up with his smile. "So, why don't we reschedule for the next time you wear those panties and we'll see if they leave my breath minty fresh?" He wiggled his eyebrows before chuckling, pulling open the door and stepping back out into the real world.

Great…_now_ I have to work horny _and_ with a headache.

And to think the day started off on such a good note….

ooo (*O*) ooo

It took some extra strength Tylenol and a smoothie, but I eventually managed to summon the giggly giddiness I had woken with this morning. Sure, Cullen had managed to get me all worked up only to leave me insanely frustrated, but what was one lost battle when I was trying to win a war.

Whatever mojo the evil elf was working with, Edward was the real thing, and we were going to get there - I just knew it. So, an hour and a half into my shift, I was tickling the kiddies, joking with the moms, flirting with the dads and throwing candy canes at Emmet and Jake.

It was the last of these that sent me into the supply closet to retrieve more ammunition.

"Either you hit your head harder than I thought, or I'm telling Aro to send you for random drug testing."

I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath in through my nose before turning around to face him. "I just happen to be in a good mood, _Cullen_, and not even _you_ can ruin that for me."

He leaned back against the door, crossing his arms across the broad expanse of his chest. "Don't tell me this is about that loser you started crying over…"

My eyes narrowed defensively until I realized what he was doing. Instead, I took another cleansing breath while I counted backwards from ten. "Like I said – good mood. Not gonna let you ruin it."

He laughed sardonically. "Geez, you're acting like the guy kissed you or something…"

My face fell.

"He kissed you?" He stood up from the door, his arms dropping to his sides. "Wait a minute…who is this guy?"

My face heated. "What does it matter to you?"

"Aren't you talking about that jerk from the photo place?"

He caught me by surprise on that one. "How do you even know about him?"

"Who kissed you?" He shouted.

"Nobody!" I shouted back, my heart cracking open and all the make-believe happiness pouring out.

"Then why-" He started, appearing absolutely confused.

"What does it matter to you? Why do you even want to know?" I struggled, scrambling to pick up the pieces of my giddiness, feeling the warmth ooze out though my fingers.

"If he didn't kiss you, why did you freak out when I said he did?"

As was often the case, having these blow-ups with Cullen suddenly left me feeling exhausted and vulnerable.

"He kissed me on the top of the head, okay?" I mumbled, feeling stupid for having allowed myself to get so excited about it.

It was silent for a moment. When he spoke again, he sounded almost awed.

"So…you fall down, hit your head, scratch up your legs and deal with my sorry ass and yet, you were still giddy because some guy kissed you on the top of the head?"

I dropped my head in embarrassment. "Yeah. I'm lame. Point made, Cullen."

He stepped away from the door, taking the two strides necessary to close the distance between us. "You know…if he wasn't such a jack ass, he'd kiss you already instead of keeping you waiting."

"It's not like that." I defended.

"Do you even know this guy? What if…" He stumbled. "What if he's hiding something from you? What if there's some secret reason he's not making the move?"

"Like what? Not everyone is like you, Cullen. Not everyone has a secret agenda."

"You have too much faith in people." He caressed my cheek with the back of one gloved hand. "Don't put him on a pedestal or he's going to let you down."

"And you don't have enough faith in people." I corrected. "You don't know him…and you don't know me." He scrunched his eyes closed and turned his head, as if the accusation hurt.

"I know you both better than you think, Bella."

"You just think you know it all, don't you?" I was struggling to find the strength to fight back, but he was wearing me down.

Suddenly, his eyes were open again, burning and pleading at the same time as he stepped towards me, backing me up against the wall. "Did he look at you like this, Bella?" My breath came out in a rush. He pressed the full length of his body up against mine. "Did he make you feel like this? Does your heart pound when you're with him like it does with me?" My hands fisted at my sides, but not from anger. "Do you want him?" My nails dug into my palms to stop me from reaching out and grabbing him – tearing that stupid beard from his face and showing him exactly what it was I wanted.

His breath was ragged, his eyes wild. "Do you want _me_, Bella?" His hand reached down between us, caressing the sensitive skin between my knees. "Tell me, Bella." His fingertips danced higher up between my legs, my skirt hitching up the higher he rose. "_Show me."_

I closed my eyes and turned my head, forcing myself to break the connection because I couldn't force myself to stop him any other way. "Don't."

"Don't _what?_ Who do you want? _What_ do you want?" He lowered his head to my exposed neck, his lips struggling to push through the white strands to land upon my fevered throat. "Do you want the guy whose kisses on the head make you giddy, or do you want the guy who can set your body on fire and make your knees weak before he even touches you." He growled against my throat.

I was getting light headed and his questions were making my head begin to pound.

"Tell me you want me, Bella. Admit that you want me the way I want you."

My aggravation helped me to summon the strength to place my hands on his shoulders and push him away. "When reindeer fly, Cullen." I seethed as he backed up, looking confused as if he had just been wakened from sleep walking to find himself in the middle of a busy intersection. I stared at him for a minute, trying to make sense of it all before grabbing three boxes of candy canes and heading for the door. With my hand on the knob, I addressed him without looking at him.

"If you don't mind..." He mumbled behind me, "I'd like to join you by your side. Where we can gaze into the stars and sit together, now and forever." I opened the door and stepped back out into the main corridor.

"Five minutes." I called out over my shoulder, ignoring his nonsense just as the door clicked shut.

I felt drained and lifeless as I climbed over the velvet ropes to store the candy canes in the workshop and prepare to reopen the line. I picked up my cell phone from beneath the cash register so that I could make sure to give him the five minutes I promised him, only to find that I had a text from Edward. I clicked to open the message, realizing for the first time that my hands were trembling from my exchange with Cullen.

"For it is plain, as anyone can see. We're simply meant to be." He wrote.

I smiled, loving how he was able to give me exactly the reassurance that I needed without even knowing. I clutched the phone to my chest, hugging it tightly as my heart began to soar once again.

He had tried - and he had almost succeeded - but not even Savage Claus could kill my buzz.

Thinking of him made me look for the bright red suit, only to find that he was already perched on his throne, his brows furrowed worriedly, his head hanging low. It made my chest ache to see him looking so dejected, but I tried to remind myself that I had to stay true – Cullen was tempting, but Edward was worth the wait.

It wasn't until fifteen minutes till closing time that a plush toy hit me in the back of the head. I bent down to pick it up, training my eyes on Cullen the moment that I noticed it was a tiny Rudolph toy.

"Did you all see that?" He called out with fake excitement. "I could swear I just saw a flying reindeer!"

He winked at me, his eyes lighting up in amusement.

I turned my head so that he couldn't see I was laughing in spite of myself.

I hated the fact that I was glad he wasn't giving up.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I jumped when my cell phone vibrated in the pocket of my blue jeans during Biology the next day. Although I carried it on me at all times, my cell barely ever rang – much less in the middle of a school day. I slipped it out of my pocket and elbowed Angela, looking from her, to Mr. Molina and then to my phone so that she would know to cover for me. She nodded once before turning her face back to the front of the class.

Edward wrote "Can you talk?"

I was giddy that he would text me out of nowhere, but also a bit concerned.

"In class. Everything okay?" I texted back. Angela wiggled her fingers at me below the table, and I slipped the cell phone back into my pocket a second before Mr. Molina walked by.

He stood right beside our lab table for what felt like an eternity, using a laser pointer to point to the diagram of the life cycle of frogs that was being projected onto the screen at the front of the class.

I tensed when my cell vibrated against my thigh, looking up nervously at Mr. Molina, fearing that he may have heard it. Fortunately, he was oblivious. Unfortunately, he was still lecturing from right beside me.

My body was tensed from head to toe, knowing that there was a message waiting for me that I could not check – my mind racing with the possibilities of what he could possibly want or need.

When Mr. Molina finally meandered away from our table, back towards the front of the class, Ang tapped my knee and gave me a thumbs up signal below the black table top. I released a breath I wasn't aware I had been holding and eagerly peeled my phone from my pocket.

"I'm fine. Just wanted to ask you something. Call me later?"

My heart was pounding with curiosity as I texted back. "Lunch in 15."

Ang slapped my thigh and I slipped my cell phone in my pocket just as Mr. Molina paced past our table nonchalantly.

For the next fifteen minutes, Mr. Molina could have discovered the cure for cancer in the front of the class, Angela could have climbed on our lab table to perform a strip tease and Mike Newton could have set himself on fire while singing the Star Spangled Banner and I would have been absolutely oblivious - my thoughts zeroed in on the small piece of technology nestled in my pocket.

A second before the bell sounded, I thanked Angela, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing quickly before snatching my bag off the floor and racing out the door towards the quad.

I searched for his number and had my finger on the "send" button, ready to place the call the moment I stepped out into the winter chill. It was cold enough outside that most people were choosing to stay in, warming up in the library, cafeteria and main office. Therefore, it was easy for me to find a solitary, frozen bench to sit on while I anxiously waited for Edward to answer.

Such a simple thing, really. Just a text. Just a phone call. Still, my heart was pounding out of my chest with giddy excitement. It was still a step – something new.

"Hey." His velvet voice greeted me. "Sorry for texting you in class. Hope I didn't get you in trouble."

"No problem – my friend watched out for me. What's going on?"

"I was…um…well…do you have to work tonight?"

My racing heart skidded to a stop. _Is he officially asking me out? Like, on a date?_

"No, I have the night off." I bit my lip anxiously.

"Well, I was wondering if you would be willing to come over to my house tonight to watch-"

"Of course!" I interrupted, speaking right over the end of his question. "Wait, what was the last thing you said?"

"Would you be willing to watch my sister tonight?" My heart sunk as the heat of embarrassment flooded my face. "I'm sorry to ask, but I have to work tonight, my mom's out of town visiting her sister's family and my dad just got called in to work the night shift at the hospital. If you don't want to do it, I understand, but you were the first person I thought to ask." To add insult to injury, he finished up with "Of course, we'll pay you."

_Great, I was about to become the hired help._

"I'd love to watch your sister – but only on one condition." I bartered.

"Hmmm?" I could almost imagine his eyebrow arching in curiosity. "What's that?"

"You and your father do not even attempt to pay me." I advised sternly.

"But, Bella-"

"No buts, Edward. I am not some member of the babysitter's club desperate for money. I am not a hired nanny. I am your…" I choked on the word, "_friend._ Friends do each other favor's all the time. If you attempt to give me money, I will be incredibly offended. Do you understand?"

"Bella, that's crazy. I don't understand why you would be offended?" He stammered, obviously uncomfortable with the notion of me babysitting pro bono.

"How would you have felt if I attempted to give you cash when you drove me home?" I explained.

The line was silent as he processed this. "I would have been insulted." He admitted.

"Then you understand." I confirmed. "Let's just say you owe me one. Deal?"

He chuckled and my heart soared. "Deal."

"Let me write down your address real quick-" I said, pulling my book bag around to retrieve a paper and pencil.

"If it's all right, I'll just pick you up from your house after you get off from school. My house can be a little tricky to find the first time around."

_The first time._ I became giddy with the thought that, not only would I be going to Edward's house, but it sounded as if he wanted me to go back there, someday.

"What time should I pick you up?"

"Well, I'll be home by three. What time do you need me?"

"I'll be waiting when you get home. That should leave me just enough time to drop you off and get to work by four. Is that alright?"

In all honesty, I would have liked a chance to change my clothes and freshen up a bit, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him otherwise. "Sure, that's perfect."

"My sister's really easy to take care of, so bring your book bag. You should have plenty of time to finish your homework."

"How old is she?" I asked, remembering the beautiful little girl I had seen in the photo.

"She's two and a half. She's smart for her age, so don't underestimate her…" He chuckled proudly.

"Sounds a lot like her big brother." I replied with a smirk.

"No, she makes me look like the village idiot." He laughed. I loved the adoration in his voice when he talked about her. His brotherly love was evident, warming me up through the phone line amidst the cold winter's day.

"Speaking of which, the little genius is pulling on my pants leg right now, so I should see what she wants. I think I might be late for tea time with Mr. Bear." My heart nearly exploded with amusement as I pictured my biker…_friend_…scrunched down into a tiny little seat sipping imaginary tea with Elizabeth and her stuffed toys.

"I'll see you at three."

"I can't wait." He husked, liquefying my insides instantly. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked, hanging on his every word, unwilling to let the call end.

"I owe you one. Anything you want." My mind immediately went to all the things I wanted that I would never have the courage to ask him for.

I summoned up a little smirk for him that was evident in my voice. "Don't you forget it, Edward." I could swear I heard him swallow nervously on the other end of the line. "See you soon."

"See you soon." He repeated. Just as he was hanging up the phone, I heard him make an animalistic roar as little Elizabeth giggled gleefully in the background.

I couldn't wait.

_**A/N: On the sixth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Approximately: 19 Pages / 8,807 Words**_

**Chapter 7**

I can't tell you the first thing about English Lit, Calculus or Phys. Ed except for the fact that I know I was there. I vaguely remember being present…in body if not in mind.

"Bye!" I hollered at my friends with a flippant wave as I nearly ran across the quad to where old rusty was sitting in my usual space. Not only was I anxious to get to Edward, but if I really pushed her hard, it was possible my truck would get me home with time to spare so that I could get changed and freshen up after all.

She groaned and choked and sputtered and coughed the entire way there, but my truck rounded the corner to my house in a record breaking twenty minutes. If Edward arrived at three o'clock sharp, that still left me with ten…

That thought drifted off as I noticed the denim and leather clad man leaning up casually against his bike in front of my house, one foot crossed over the other at the ankle. His responding smile as I pulled into sight was absolutely radiant – angels would have wept in their jealousy.

He slid around the truck as I removed the key from the ignition, pulled the door open on its squeaky hinge and slipped the strap of my bag over my shoulder. Before I knew it, his left arm was beneath my knees, his right arm behind my back and he was lifting me effortlessly out from the driver's seat. "What are you doing?" I squealed.

He laughed as I flung my arms around his neck to hold on, fearful that I would be too heavy for him to carry.

"I'm giving you a ride to my bike. That's what friends are for!" He teased, pecking me sweetly on the cheek as we rounded the front fender. It was the second time he kissed me and I struggled not to make it out to be any more than it was…not to let it _mean_ any more than it _did._

He set me down on the back of the bike, removing my backpack from my shoulder and storing it in the side satchel as I kicked my leg up and over to straddle the seat. When I turned back to him, I noticed he had his hands behind his back and a mischievous grin on his face with a matching set of sparkling eyes. "I got something for you." He beamed.

"What?" I squeaked.

"Okay, well, it's not for _you_, per se, cuz I'm keeping it. But, it _was_ bought with you in mind, so that counts, right?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and fought back my smile, struggling to understand what the hell he was talking about. He brought his hands out from behind his back, carrying a second black helmet – one that looked smaller, sleeker and shinier than his old fashioned, rugged, beat up thing.

"You bought me a helmet?" I smiled widely.

"Well, no one ever rode with me before so I never needed it, but since we seem to be making a habit of riding together, I wanted you to be safe." His cheeks flushed a pleasant pink hue as he began rambling awkwardly.

I jumped off the bike, even surprising myself in my litheness, and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest as I hugged him tightly. "Thank you!"

His chest rumbled as he laughed at my exuberance, wrapping his arms around me in response, allowing one hand to ghost from the back of my head, down over the cascade of my hair to the back of my shoulders. It was a gesture I was quickly learning that he liked to do, as much as I liked him doing it.

I pulled away, smiling up at him expectantly like a kid fascinated with a new toy. His smile was absolutely dazzling as he used his fingertip to brush the stray hair out of my face before sliding the helmet over my head and pushing it down.

We didn't usually put the helmets on until after I was on the bike, so I looked a bit klutzy trying to climb back into position, but he held my hand and guided me so I wouldn't go tumbling, taking the bike with me. He easily swung his long, lean leg over the seat, sliding back into it so that his tight ass was flush against my eager center.

_If this is all you're ever going to get from him, you may as well make the most of it._

I molded myself against him, sliding my hands around his waist without hesitation once he had his helmet on. I began to slip my fingers into the pockets of his jacket to keep warm, but was surprised when he stopped me, instead intertwining his fingers with mine and guiding them below his jacket, back into his pants pockets as we had done before.

I understood when we had a long ride through a snow storm, but the weather was pleasant enough now that it didn't seem necessary. _Not that I was complaining._

I pushed my fingers into the tight denim. When I felt him shift his hips forward, into my touch, I pulled myself tighter up against him, literally feeling the warmth of his backside radiating between my parted thighs.

_Divide and conquer! Divide and conquer!_

I giggled, my dirty thoughts feeling protected within the confines of the helmet.

Without notice, he accelerated, my arms tightening and my fingertips clinging to him as the sudden movement pulled me backward. I felt his shoulders bounce up and down with his laughter as mine did the same.

He really did live only ten minutes away from my house, though I had never seen his home because it was set back about 200 feet from the road, masked by layer upon layer of fir, birch and pine trees. I could see why he wanted to pick me up – I never would have found the obscure turn off.

There was an unpaved, winding road parting the encroaching forest – the trees on either side wrapped from top to bottom in strings of darkened Christmas lights awaiting their nighttime presentation.

At the end of the drive, the trees parted to reveal an elegant home – larger than all of the other homes in the area, but modest in its design. In the light of day, I could see that it was covered in thousands upon thousands of lights, just as the drive had been, and I was anxious to see the actual display.

Edward gracefully dismounted the bike and I instantly missed the feel of his body as the winter cold swept in to take his place. My hands were warm – almost sweaty from having been hidden within his pockets, which made it nearly impossible to remove my helmet. With his own helmet tucked under his arm, he laughed at my feeble attempts to get a grip on the sleek black plastic.

I threw my hands up in the air at him. "A little help here!" I yelled through the visor, causing him to double over as his laughter intensified. I folded my arms over my chest in mock anger, but soon couldn't help but join in on the laughter. He hung his helmet over one of the handles before coming to my rescue.

"Hold on to my hips to steady yourself." He advised as his fingers reached beneath the helmet, pushing my hair back away from my throat – his fingers spreading goosebumps whenever they graced the exposed skin of my neck.

I looped my thumbs through his belt loops, gripping his hips as he slipped his fingers around the bottom of the helmet and pulled up releasing me.

I shook my head, trying to avoid embarrassing helmet hair, but as he lowered the helmet to his side, he brought his right hand up, caressing my cheek with the back of his fingers and mumbled "beautiful."

It was making it very difficult for me to settle for the "friend" title.

He took my hands from his hips, helping to steady me as I stood up and swung my leg off of the bike, trying to find my balance back on steady ground. He hung my helmet on the other handle, pulled my bag from the side satchel and swung it over his left shoulder before cocking his right arm out to me. I slipped my hand through, walking alongside him toward the house with our arms linked.

Just as we got to the door, a handsome blonde man opened the door for us, the warmth of the house filtering out onto the cold front porch.

"I'm glad you're back; I need to get going before I'm late." The handsome man said. His white blonde hair was slicked back and he was dressed in black slacks and a crisp, baby blue button up shirt, everything about him appeared perfectly angular, symmetrical and aligned. He squared his shoulders as his hazel eyes landed on me for the first time. "You must be Isabella."

"Bella, dad." Edward corrected with a cough and a smile.

"It's okay." I added, bumping Edward with my hip for correcting his father. "It's nice to meet you, Mr…" I blushed as I suddenly realized I didn't know the first thing about his father. Or his mother, for that matter.

"Actually, it's Dr…." Edward's father smiled warmly, trailing off as Edward tensed by my side and gave him a stern look along with a slight shake of his head. I wondered what that was about. "But you can call me Carlisle." His warm smile made it clear that he was informing and not correcting. It was plain to see that he was handsome but humble; confident, but kind. I liked him immediately - and although they looked nothing alike - it was easy to see where Edward got his good looks and quiet charm.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Carlisle. You have a beautiful home." I smiled softly, peering over his shoulders into the warmly lit house.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said, stepping back and gesturing for us to enter. "Where are my manners? Please, come on in." Edward slipped his hand down to my lower back as he ushered me inside. My mind immediately shut down, all of my synapses firing on the way his fingertips lingered on the gentle slope above my ass. "Please, make yourself at home. The fridge is fully stocked and I've left some cash on the counter for you to order some pizza for you and Lizzie for dinner."

I gasped quietly, quickly turning to look at Edward.

Carlisle cocked a crooked smile that reminded me of Edward. "My son's already informed me that you don't want to be paid for the night, but you can hardly blame me for wanting to leave money behind to ensure that my daughter is fed, correct?" He arched an eyebrow at me in challenge and I chuckled quietly. Realizing that I wouldn't press the matter, he continued. "Emergency contact information is tacked up on the fridge, as is our address and any other important information you could need. If you don't mind, I'll let Edward answer any other questions as I really do need to get going." He clasped my shoulder and squeezed. "I've heard so much about you, Bella. I really wish that I could stay and chat, but maybe we can get to know each other better some other time. Perhaps we could have you over for dinner when Esme returns…" He mused. I smiled happily before I realized that Edward was staring at his father incredulously, once again shaking his head in the tightest of movements.

Unfortunately, it appeared that he wasn't so anxious for me to return to his home, after all.

Figuring out what the hell he wanted from me was like trying to solve a Rubic's cube with gloves and a blindfold on.

_And I can't even solve that shit _without _those obstacles!_

"I probably won't be home until after midnight, Ed, so it's up to you to make sure that Bella gets home safely." Carlisle advised, patting Edward on the back as he passed us, heading for the front door.

"Of course, Dad." He rolled his eyes at his father as Carlisle smirked and pulled open the door.

"Thanks again, Bella. I really am so glad to finally meet you." Edward growled almost inaudibly as his father slipped out the door, closing it behind him.

Enclosed within the warm home, Edward dropped my bag on a table near the door and took my hand, leading me further into the house. "Here, I'll show you around while we look for Lizzie." We rounded a corner into a large living room with vaulted ceilings, a fire already roaring in the fireplace. "Lizard Breath, where are you?" he called out, smiling wickedly before lowering his voice to a conversational tone. "This is the living room. The kitchen is through that way." He instructed, pointing off toward a rounded entrance way off to our left. "And the bedrooms are over here." He pulled me past the fireplace, down a dark corridor with numerous doors on either side. "Lizard Breath! I want you to meet my new friend! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

We heard a giggle coming from a room to our right, and his eyes lit up, his lips spreading into a glimmering smile. He stopped us in front of the door and released my hand, bringing one finger up to his lips to shush me. I smiled, anxiously enjoying the game. "I don't know where she is, Bella. I really wanted you to meet her. She would have really liked playing with you. You two would have had so much fun." He said loudly for his sister's amusement. He gestured silently, letting me know that we were about to bust into the room. "Lizard Breath! Where are you?" He counted backwards on his fingers, throwing open the door after the count of three and growling loudly.

The dainty, pink and white girl's room appeared to be empty – the owner of the adorable giggle nowhere in sight. He stepped in and I followed, looking around the room for the mysterious little girl. Just as I stepped up beside him, looking towards the lacy little princess bed, the closet doors flew open behind us and a tiny little monster jumped out, roaring as loudly as her little lungs could muster.

I'm embarrassed to say that I actually jumped. I'm pretty sure she caught Edward off guard too, but he composed himself quickly, swinging around on her, lifting her up into his arms and carrying her over to the bed where he began tickling her until I was sure she was gonna pee herself.

"Eddiiiiiiiiieeeeee!" She squeeled beneath his torture.

He stopped immediately, picking her up once again before plopping down on the tiny bed and pulling her into his lap. "I'm so sorry, Lizard Breath! You scared me! I thought you were a monster and I was gonna have to tickle you to death."

"I'm not Lizard Breath!" She corrected, rolling her eyes at him.

"Then who are you?" He asked, sounding dumbfounded.

"Elizabeth!" She yelled. It was obvious this was a favorite game of theirs.

"That's what I said! A Lizard Breath!" He repeated, sounding exasperated.

"You're silly, Eddie." She laughed, placing her tiny, chubby little hand on his cheek and looking up into his eyes as if he were her personal hero.

He bent over her little form, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Lizzie, I want you to meet someone very special."

She tore her tiny, bright blue eyes away from him to peek at me, as if I couldn't see her peeking. I knelt down so that I would be closer to her height to finally meet my tiny charge for the night.

She turned back to her brother, sounding awe struck. "She's pretty." She whispered. I couldn't help the satisfied grin that pulled across my face.

"Just like you." He whispered back to her, stealing a sideways glance at me amidst their private sister/brother moment. He squeezed her tightly and kissed her on the temple before scooting her off of his lap, setting her onto her feet between his legs. "Lizzie, this is Bella."

I smiled at her, waving timidly, wanting to let her make the first move to set the pace for the night. She raced over, flinging her arms around my neck and squeezing me with all her might as she knocked me off balance, causing me to fall backwards with her in my arms. I laughed out loud at her over zealousness, easily enveloping her in my arms and rocking her back and forth happily.

She pulled back off of me, straddling my stomach as she stared down at me. "Are you gonna play with me and Eddie?"

I looked past her up at Edward, he was staring down at the two of us with an amused smile.

He bent down, picking her up and holding her over his hip. "I have to go to work, Liz. But, Bella's gonna stay with you so you don't have to be lonely."

"Eddiiiiiiiiieeeee…" She whined, pouting dramatically.

"I know, I wanna stay and play with you too. But, Bella's so much fun, you won't even know I'm gone." He pinched her nose with a honking noise and then hugged her tightly, his hand cradling the back of her head, holding her tightly to his chest. I recognized the gesture – it was the same way he hugged me. Seeing it made me all warm and fluffy and electrically tingly at the same time. "You're going to be good for Bella, right?" He asked, pulling her back so that he could look into her eyes meaningfully.

She wiggled in his arms and he placed her down on her feet where she immediately ran back over to me and hugged my leg. "I'll be good for my Bella." She promised, and my heart oozed a little saccharine sweetness.

"Noooo, she's my Bella." Edward said, surprising me a little when his emerald eyes darkened as they looked into mine.

She stomped her little foot at him. "My Bella!" She shouted back, squeezing my leg tighter.

"Nooo, mine!" He argued with her, stepping over to my other side and wrapping a possessive arm around my waist, as if he could actually pull me away from the child that was wrapped around my leg.

I was flattered by her instant affection, tickled by their camaraderie and turned on by Edward's make-believe display of possessiveness, all at the same time. It was quite confusing.

"My Bella!" She squeaked, her eyes going wide as she attempted to stare him down. I struggled not to laugh at the little fireball.

"Mine!" Edward yelled, literally bending over to grab me around the waist. His sister stepped away in shock as her brother threw me over his shoulder and took off running out of the room, through the living room towards the front door, yelling "Mine! Mine! Mine!" the entire time.

At first, I was so shocked that I just stared blankly at the little girl who trailed behind us, clapping her hands and giggling gleefully at his antics but eventually, I gave in, laughing as I swatted at his denim clad, tight ass.

He set me down on my feet right in front of the door, his pupils dilated, making his eyes appear almost black and wild.

"Mine!" Her tiny body collided with the back of my legs, her arms winding around my hips as she buried her face obliviously into my butt. Funny how kids have absolutely no qualms about touching people inappropriately. To them, everything is equal opportunity territory.

It always made me laugh.

Edward stepped around me, kneeling down beside us and prying her away from me. "I'll tell you what. I'll let you have Bella while I'm at work. But when I come home, I get her back, okay?" She pursed her lips as she looked up at me, then turned back to her brother and nodded her agreement. "He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye with a smirk before turning back to his sister and whispering conspiratorially. "She's important. Will you take good care of her for me?"

Elizabeth peeked back up at me and smiled as my heart began leaping around happily in my chest. I smiled down and she immediately looked back to her brother with a huge grin on her face while nodding excitedly. He kissed her quickly on the forehead before standing up to face me, taking my hands in both of his. "Same goes for you. Got it?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, always afraid I was reading something into it that wasn't really there. "I think I got it." I replied.

His eyes wandered over my lips for a minute, his tongue dancing upon his own to moisten them. I tried to ignore the rush of hope and calm the useless knotting in my stomach.

He leaned forward, kissing me chastely upon the forehead before pulling away. "I have to get to work, but if you need _anything_, don't hesitate to call or text me, alright?"

I nodded and saluted him military style. "Yes sir!"

"Bye Lizard Breath!" He called out over his shoulder to the little girl who had wandered off into the living room.

"I'M NOT LIZARD BREATH!" She roared back. He chuckled as he released my fingertips and slipped out the front door.

_Let the fun begin._

ooo (*O*) ooo

Edward was right about two things: Elizabeth was pretty easy to take care of and she was most definitely smart – a lethal combination. The first attribute made it easy to let down your guard while the second attribute stepped in to suddenly kick you in the ass.

We played around in her room for about an hour before I used the money Carlisle left to order us a pizza. I cut up a slice for her in easy, bite size pieces before setting her up on the coffee table and letting her watch a video while she ate.

I had a small project I needed to work on, so I texted Edward asking if they had any glue and he directed me to look in a drawer in the kitchen. Soon, I was set up with two tv tables behind Elizabeth, eating and working diligently on the assignment while she munched loudly and sang along to the songs of "Big Rock Candy Mountain." Of course, the sing-along video would not have been my choice of entertainment, but it kept her satisfied.

It wasn't until about a half hour later that my stomach started to churn uncomfortably. I waited a moment, hoping the feeling would pass but it only became more intense, the discomfort causing me to break out in cold sweats. I didn't want to leave her alone, but it became obvious that I had no other choice.

"Elizabeth, I need to go to the potty. I want you to be a big girl, sit there and watch the movie, okay?" I directed, resisting the urge to take off running.

"Okay, my Bella." She called out, not even bothering to take her eyes off of the television. It was enough to make me confident that she was too enthralled by the brightly colored characters to get into any trouble. With that I streaked through the living room to the small half bath Edward had pointed out earlier.

I didn't know what it was about that pizza, but it was obviously not agreeing with me. As seconds turned into minutes, I became nervous about leaving little Elizabeth out there by herself. Even the most inexperienced babysitter knows how much trouble a kid can get into when you leave them alone for even a fraction of a second.

I heaved a sigh of relief when my stomach finally quieted, quickly splashing some water on my face and drying off before hurrying to check on Edward's sister.

My heart stopped when she wasn't where I had left her.

"Elizabeth, where are you?" I called out.

A little giggle came out from the kitchen.

I raced toward the sound, not seeing her.

"Lizzie, we're not playing right now. Where are you?" I asked again, trying to steady my voice.

"Here, my Bella!" She called out from the other side of the island. I ran around, finding her in a gooey mess on the kitchen floor. My jaw dropped open.

"What are you doing?"

"You're a big girl." She answered, as if that was all the explanation I needed.

"Yes, I am, but what are you doing?"

"I'm a big girl too!" It was then that I realized what she was getting at.

I had been cutting pictures out of a magazine to make a collage for class.

That explained why she now had the magazine torn to shreds around her, pieces of it glued to the refrigerator, cabinets, walls, her arms, face and legs… I had told her to be a big girl, so she was doing what she thought big girls were supposed to do.

"See! I made it pretty like you!" She called out happily, attempting in vain to shake a magazine page off of her sticky finger tips.

I snorted, shaking my head and laughing in spite of myself. "Big girls also like taking baths. You wanna go hop in the bathtub and I'll help you get cleaned up?"

She didn't like that notion as much, but my big girl argument didn't leave her with much of an excuse.

"Otay…" she answered grudgingly.

I took her sticky hand and led her towards the bathroom down the hall. I kept her busy with stories and songs while I peeled the dry glue off of her in long, icky strips, having a little more difficulty washing it out of her long, white-blonde curls. By the end of the long, warm bath, her tiny lips kept forming an "o" with her consistent yawns.

I inhaled the soft fragrance of her lavender shampoo as I dried her off then, still bundled up in the towel, I followed her back to her room and let her pick out a pair of panties and a night gown. I was tickled when she picked out a pair of panties with a ruffle across the butt, and I seemed to pass her test when I picked out a silky princess night gown that matched the panties perfectly.

Just as I was tucking her into bed, I heard the front door open and close.

"Edward?" I called out, a little nervous.

"Yeah, I'm home." Why him saying that made my stomach flip, I can't quite explain.

"Eddiiiiiieeeeeeeee!" Lizzie sang out, jumping out from the covers.

A moment later, Edward rounded the corner into her room, his eyes lighting up as he spotted her standing on top of her bed, her arms held out for him expectantly. He lifted her up into his arms and hugged her tightly, as if it had been more than six hours since he had last seen her.

"Were you good for Bella?" he asked.

"Um-hm!" She nodded her head proudly. "I was a big girl!"

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at me with a question on his face. I scrunched my face together and shook my head as in _don't ask._

She wiggled her little finger at him, prompting him to come closer. He dipped his head and she whispered in his ear. I couldn't hear what she said, but his eyes immediately drifted over to me, a smile pulling at the corner of his beautiful lips. She pulled back and looked at him in anticipation.

"Me too, Lizzie."

She wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him close, whispering something else into his ear. I could hear her voice this time, but couldn't make out what she was saying.

"You'd like that, huh?" He responded when she pulled back to look up into his face. She nodded happily. "Well, me too. I'm working on that part."

"Can we ask Santa?" She asked, her eyebrows held up in hope.

"Why don't _you _ask Santa for it?" He prompted, looking down at his lap, appearing ashamed while mumbling "_I'm not so sure I'm on his nice list this year."_

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him, trying to figure out what in the world would make my shy biker think he should be on the naughty list.

It was his turn to squench his face up and shake his head.

_Maybe he'll tell me some other time._

"Time to go to sleep, Lizzie." She hugged her brother tightly before jumping off the bed and racing over to me, hugging me tightly.

"Goodnight, my Bella." She said as her arms held me in a strangle hold. "I love you."

I melted just a little, embracing her tightly. "Good night, Lizzie. I love you too."

I wasn't one to throw those words around lightly, but I figured she was too little for it to cause any harm. Besides, it was easy to imagine, with enough time, that I would very likely come to love the little girl.

She climbed into bed, slipping her toes under the covers as Edward pulled them up under her chin. "Sing to me, Eddie?"

"Only if Bella sings with me." Brother and sister both turned their eyes on me.

_Geez, no pressure or anything._

He slid off her mattress, coming to sit on the floor between me and the bed with his back against the nightstand. "Eddie, I can't see my Bella now."

I scooted forward so she could see me, but Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and scooped me up so that I was suddenly positioned between his legs, my back to his chest. "Better?" He asked.

"Um-hm!" She chirped happily.

_Most definitely._ I thought silently.

He wrapped his arms casually around my waist, clasping his hands in front of my stomach. I leaned against him, enjoying his strength and warmth against my back.

"Do you know any Christmas songs, Bella?" He asked, peeking his head around mine so that he could see my face.

"Um-hm…" I mused quietly, remembering the numerous Christmas concerts I had appeared in at school. "As long as it's a standard, I should be able to follow along."

He started to hum an intro, but I was too caught up in the smooth, velvety texture of his voice to pick it up at first.

Then, I started singing before I even realized I had identified the tune. "I really can't stay-"

"Baby, it's cold outside."

"I've got to go away-"

"Baby, it's cold outside."

"This evening has been-"

"-Been hoping that you'd drop in."

"- so very nice."

"I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice." His hands moved from my elbows, down over my arms to my hands, intertwining his fingers with mine before crossing our arms around me.

I peeked over at Elizabeth who was watching us giddily, smiling merrily between her incessant little yawns.

By the time we reached "I ought to say no, no, no sir-", her eyes were closed, peaceful oblivion settling over her tiny features as she hummed quietly with every intake of breath.

We continued singing, our voices lowering slightly as she settled more deeply into sleep.

"This welcome has been-" I whispered, chills running up and down my spine as his nose skimmed up the back of my neck, circling the corner of my jaw near my ear.

"I'm lucky that you dropped in." His breath was hot and moist on my ear.

"-so nice and warm. " I turned my head slightly, leaning in to his parted lips.

"Look out the window at the storm." His lips settled on the corner of my jaw and I tensed.

"You're sister will be suspicious." I changed the lyrics just enough to remind him that we weren't alone, turning my head to the side so that I could see into his eyes.

He licked his lips. "Man your lips look delicious." I had to remind myself that he was just singing the song – the words were what I wanted to hear, but they didn't mean what I wanted them to.

"Your father will be at the door." I continued, pushing away from him as I was unable to take the tempting and teasing any longer. No use in setting myself up for more disappointment.

We continued to sing softly as I got to my knees and used the edge of Elizabeth's mattress to balance as I stood up. I turned back to him, offering my hand to help him up.

He smiled in amusement, taking my hand and following me out the door, peeking in on his sleeping sister until the very last moment when the door clicked quietly shut.

"Do you sing to her every night?" I asked as I let the song drift off in my head.

"Not _every _night. Sometimes I sing to her. Sometimes I read. Other times, my parents do it." He took my hand, leading me down the hallway to the living room. "So, what was that about her being a big girl?"

"Shit! The kitchen!" I remember, dropping his hand and racing head. Sure enough, it was just as bad as I remembered.

He reached the space a moment after me, looking around for a moment before cracking up laughing.

"I sort of had to leave her alone to use the bathroom. I told her to be a big girl and watch her movie, but when I got out, I found her in here with the magazine and glue. She saw me working on a project for school and I think she thought that was what big girls were supposed to do. I'm so sorry, but I'll clean it up." I panicked, dropping to my knees to start pinching every little scrap of paper between my fingers, gathering the bits and pieces in the palm of my other hand.

"You can't say I didn't warn you." He teased as he lowered down to his knees to help me clean up the mess.

"You told me she was easy to take care of!" I laughed.

"I also told you she was smart and not to underestimate her. My dad will get a kick when he hears this story."

I fell over onto my side, staring at him in wide-eyed horror. "You can't tell your dad! He'll have me arrested for endangering his child! He'll think I'm completely incapable!"

He laughed even louder. "Bella, she does this stuff all the time. We expected you to keep her alive, fed and uninjured – we didn't expect miracles."

I laughed. "I can see what you mean about her being a good kid, though. She got into trouble, but there was never any maliciousness in it. She was honestly trying to be a good girl for me." I smiled, my heart warming as I remembered the happy evening I had spent being her Bella. I suddenly remembered him saying I would spend the night being _his_ Bella, and I wondered what that entailed. My girlie parts got a little squishy with the thought. "What was she whispering to you?"

His face reddened as he focused particularly hard on a picking up an area of shredded paper that was stuck to the floor. "She likes you. She wanted to know if she asked Santa, if he would let her keep you."

"Really?" I beamed proudly, growing even fonder of her. He nodded without looking at me. "Speaking of Santa, why in the world did you say you'd be on his naughty list?"

"I'm not always proud of the things I do, Bella." He muttered, his expression looking pained. I wasn't cleaning any more, too intrigued by him to focus on anything else.

"I think you're too hard on yourself."

"How can you say that when you don't even know what I've done?" He stopped cleaning now, too, sitting down and leaning against the opposite cabinets, intense eyes looking at me.

"I know we haven't known each other long and, I realize I don't really know much about your life, but I can't help but feel that I know _you._ I know that doesn't make any sense…but everything I know about you…you're a good guy through and through. I can't imagine you doing anything to put yourself in Santa's bad graces. In fact, the Santa I know is an absolute jackass. You'd have to do some pretty messed up shit to land on _that_ guy's naughty list."

His head hung low and somehow, despite the fact that I was trying to make him feel better, I couldn't help but feel that I was making it worse. "You'd be surprised."

I crawled across the floor and scooted over to sit beside him, clasping one of his hands between mine. "You want to talk about it? You show me yours, I'll show you mine and you'll see it's not so bad after all?"

He pulled my hands in front of him, using his other hand so that he was now clasping mine the way I was clasping his. "I really, really wish I could. I've been trying to tell you…trying to figure out a way…but no matter how I think about doing it, I see it ending badly. I know it would be better for you to know…but I'm too selfish to risk losing…whatever it is that we have going on."

He was starting to worry me a little. How bad could this thing really be? The worst case scenarios passed through my mind and the only thing that really scared me was exactly what he was saying – that we could somehow lose this _thing_ we had. It was juvenile and naïve of me to believe this, but I couldn't help but think that nothing else would really matter. So, as curious as I was to know what was bothering him, another part of me didn't want to know. "Well, Lizzie likes me and I'm pretty sure your dad does too, so I don't think I'm going anywhere any time soon." I teased, trying to lighten the mood as I got back on my hands and knees and resumed picking up the pieces.

He laughed behind me. "They like you? As if they ever stood a chance not to." He joked, focusing on peeling the pages off of the cabinets. "But, you have to admit you…you're pretty crazy about them too. In fact, if my father wasn't a married man, I wouldn't be surprised if you made a move."

My mouth dropped open. "What?"

"Oh, come on. I know how the women react to my dad. He's good looking, smooth, wealthy – hell, he even has the whole doctor stereotype going on! Admit it, you were crushing just a little bit when you saw him."

"Was not!" I argued, reverting back to elementary school.

"Were too!" He shot back, his mouth pulled into a crooked smile but his eyes revealing just a hint of jealousy.

"Was not!" I was really going to have to think of a different argument if I didn't want this to go on forever. "He reminded me of you!"

_Oops, should have thought that one out better._

"What?" He asked, freezing half way through peeling a page off of a cabinet door.

I swallowed, turning my attention to peeling the tiny scraps off of the tiled floor, scraping at dried glue with my fingernails, addressing what I was about to say directly to the floor. "I just noticed that you're a lot like him. Not so much in appearance, but everything else. You hold yourself the same way most of the time – shoulders squared, chin up proudly. You're handsome, and you don't seem _completely_ oblivious to that fact, but it just seems like a non-issue. You two have a calming, reassuring charisma. I suppose it's one of the qualities that probably make him a successful doctor." Somewhere along the way, I forgot to be embarrassed by what I was saying, focusing so intently on the paper and glue that the confessions were flowing out easily, as if I was entranced.

"You think I'm handsome?"

My breath caught in my throat as I cocked my head to one side to look at him, kneeling there on my hands and knees, doing my absolute best impression of a deer caught in the headlights.

"And charismatic?"

I turned back to face the floor, needing to disengage from the fire in his eyes and the flirty smile dancing on his lips. "You're confident, but not cocky – it's a quiet confidence that just makes it easy for people to have faith in you. To trust you. It's the reason why it's so hard for me to believe that you'd be able to do anything terrible."

I caught him frowning out of the corner of my eye as he resumed picking at the glue on the cabinets. "I appreciate that…but can you see how that would only make it harder for me to tell you? If you didn't think so highly of me…if you realized I was just a screw-up like everyone else…maybe I wouldn't be so worried about disappointing you."

"I never meant to…" I mumbled as tears pricked at my eyes. I turned my head away, trying to hide the fact that my lips were starting to tremble with the tears I was fighting not to shed.

"Bella, no." He dropped the garbage into a little pile before scooting over to me, pulling me up onto my knees and hugging me. "I didn't mean to blame it on you." He reassured me.

"I don't mean to pressure you, I just…I…" I pulled back out of his arms, looking up at him through the unshed tears that pooled in my eyes. "I like you."

He smiled at me, cupping my face between his hands. "I like you too."

I blinked, allowing the tears to brim over and streak down my face. "No, Edward. I mean, I _really_ like you. I don't want to just be friends…but I'm taking it if that's all I can get."

His face grew serious and I was suddenly afraid I'd lost him. He wiggled his finger for me to come closer and he brought his lips to my ear as I leaned in. "Why do you think I told Elizabeth to ask Santa if we can keep you?" I pulled back to stare at him, my eyes going wide. "I might have been playing with her earlier, but I wasn't kidding when I said that I wanted you to be mine."

"Really?" I asked, incredulously. "But I thought…you…I never knew…" I struggled with the words to explain how lost I was.

"I'm sorry if I hadn't made that clear to you earlier…it's all been a little confusing for me. Like I said – I've done things I'm not proud of. It's something I'm working on fixing."

I raised my hand to caress his cheek only to realize that bits of paper were stuck to my fingertips and palm. He turned to look at my hand, only then pulling his hands away from my face to realize that they were covered in magazine print exactly the same way. We laughed for a minute, the tension melting around us. "Alright, this has gone on long enough. Let's clean this shit up so I can get up off my knees already."

"Agreed" I said.

"You know, it's kind of funny that you think I'm so much like Carlisle." He suggested a few minutes later as the final scraps had been thrown away and the last of the dried glue scraped up.

"Why is that?" I asked, picking at the glue on my hands beneath the running water.

"He's my stepdad."

That totally caught me off guard.

"I was born Edward Mason, Junior, but my dad was out of the picture before I was five. I don't even remember him. Turns out, he used to beat my mom. Carlisle was the doctor that treated her in the hospital, and he took us in when she finally decided to leave him. Carlisle adopted me when I was seven. Instead of having a wedding, they had a commitment ceremony where we became a family. It was kind of cheesy, but their wedding rings have his family crest on it. That was when he gave me this cuff." I looked down at the leather cuff he always wore on his left wrist, noticing the metal crest for the first time. "It was cool. Instead of being pronounced husband and wife, we were introduced as a family for the first time, and he walked down the aisle holding my mom's hand with one hand and carrying me with the other."

We were leaning against the counter now, looking at each other sideways as he poured his heart out to me. "When Elizabeth was born, I got a little jealous at first. Stupid, stepson bullshit. I was just finishing my sophomore year of school when mom got pregnant. Carlisle had always made such a big deal out of making me a part of everything that, I guess in some subconscious way, I felt like I was going to be replaced. I figured I'd be graduating and moving out and they'd have a real kid to replace me with. It was entirely my own messed up thinking."

The way he adored his sister, it was hard for me to imagine he had ever felt any animosity towards her.

"When Elizabeth was born, she was the perfect mix between Carlisle and my mom. I was always told I looked like my dad, but for the first time, it bothered me that Carlisle wasn't my birth father because now, I felt like the outsider. I started feeling like my father's son. I got angry and moody and depressed. If I couldn't be Carlisle's real kid, I didn't know what else I was supposed to be. That's when the black clothes and the piercings started – as a way to distance myself from the legacy of the good doctor. I couldn't take the pressure of being his kid when I was feeling like I had too much of Edward Senior tainting me."

He stared straight ahead as the things he said sunk in.

"But you seem to like him okay now…" I prompted.

He snorted without humor. "I always liked him. I didn't like me." He smiled as a new memory flashed across his face.

"As part of my rebellion, I had sold the car my parents bought for my sixteenth birthday to buy my bike. I snuck out of the house one night to go to a biker bar just outside of town. I was underage, but I looked older, so they didn't question me.

"After my third beer, this blonde haired guy comes into the bar looking extremely uncomfortable, despite his black jeans, boots and black leather jacket. He comes right up to me at the bar, sits down beside me and tells the bartender that he'll have whatever I'm having. I just sat there silently, freaking out because I got caught and I had no idea what the hell he was trying to do.

"When the bartender gave him his beer, he gestured for me to pick up mine and clinked the necks together before chugging it down. I stared at him, surprised because I had never seen him drink before. He literally downed the bottle before slamming it down on the bar and looking at me, asking me if I was going to drink. I did so, nervously, never taking my eyes off of him. He ordered another round and we repeated the same thing. When he ordered the third round, I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked him what he was doing.

"He told me that I didn't have to look like him to be his son, and that I didn't have to act like him for him to love me. He told me that he figured I needed to act out a little to get it out of my system, but that I was a big brother now, and that he had been hopeful, with my help, that she might grow up to be like me someday. It was the second time he saved me."

"You just kind of gave me the confidence tonight that, maybe he and I aren't so different after all. It's nice to know."

We both looked toward the living room as we heard the front door open and close. "You're home early." Edward called out, easily slipping his hand into mine to lead me towards the foyer.

"Yeah, it was a slow night. I told them to page me if they need me." He answered, appearing surprised when I showed up beside Edward. "Bella, I thought you'd be home by now. Don't you have school tomorrow?"

Edward ran his fingers through his hair, gripping the back of his neck as he had a habit of doing. "Real cool, dad."

"Yes sir, but I just had a couple of things I needed to clean up before I left." I assured him with a smile.

"Oh, you didn't have to clean up anything – that's what Edward's here for." He laughed, clapping Edward on the back. "Speaking of which, you forgot to turn the lights on. Your mother would have a coronary."

Edward hit the palm of his hand against his forehead. "I forgot! I won't tell if you don't tell."

Carlisle ran his fingers over his chin in evil contemplation. "Hmmm…what's it worth to you?"

Edward smiled wickedly. "Oh, you wanna play that, old man? Alright, how about I won't tell her how much you've been salting your food this week if you don't tell her I forgot to turn the lights on?"

Carlisle winced. "Oh, that was below the belt, Ed!"

I laughed, appreciating their banter in light of their history together.

"Bella, if you'd like to collect your things, I'll be glad to give you a ride home." Carlisle offered.

"Dad, I'll take her."

"On your bike? It's midnight! It's below 30 out."

"It's okay, Carlisle. I'm dressed warmly."

He huffed, holding out his keys. "Take the Volvo, please? I'd like your mother to return home to find that she still has a son for the holidays. She can get so pissy when I go around losing children."

Edward snorted, snatching the dangling keys. "Ready to go?" He asked.

"Sure, just let me grab my things from the couch."

I raced to grab my stuff, shoving my unfinished assignment into the bag before slinging it over my shoulder and running back.

"Goodbye once again, Bella. I really hope that you'll come back over soon. Esme would be delighted to meet you." Carlisle smiled warmly. I glanced at Edward quickly before stepping up on my toes to hug the doctor.

"Thank you, Carlisle." He seemed surprised at first, be instantly relaxed and hugged me back.

When I pulled away, Edward had his head down, but I could see the way his cheeks were bunched up with his smile. "I'll be back soon, dad."

Edward locked the door as we stepped out onto the porch, then stepped away from me to flip a switch that was out of sight. Suddenly the clearing was bathed in bright light. I walked down the porch steps and turned back to find the house glimmering in twinkle lights, the nearest trees lit up from top to bottom. My mouth dropped wide and my eyes lit up in childlike wonder.

"But wait, there's more!" he added, pressing another button. Suddenly, a rock and roll version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" began playing from hidden speakers and the lights began to race along the front of the house, turning on and off in time to the hard core music.

It's was a Christmas light extravaganza!

I turned to him, watching the lights play across his face as he stared up at his home proudly. It was absolutely stunning.

"It's beautiful!" I yelled over the music, feeling like a guest at a private concert.

"I knew you'd like it." He yelled back, stepping behind me and slipping his arms around my waist, rocking me back and forth to the music as we watched the spectacle.

So…we weren't friends but, whatever we were, I was really starting to like it. I was even starting to hope that Santa would let him keep me after all.

**_A/N: The glue story is based on a true account of the time I babysat my two younger cousins. I was watching "Big Rock Candy Mountain" with them when the younger of the two disappeared. I went looking for her a minute later to find her in the middle of the kitchen, covered from head to toe in glue with little sticky hand prints everywhere. Took forever to wash out, but it's one of my favorite babysitting memories._**

_**A/N: On the seventh day of Christmas my readers gave to me: A Christmas Tree and Trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Approximately: 12 Pages / 5,653 Words**_

**Chapter 8**

I awoke to my alarm clock Thursday morning and threw the blankets off, immediately being shocked by the chill in my room. I pulled a pair of socks out of my night stand, slipping them on quickly before padding over to the window.

I was surprised to find the earth blanketed in snow so deep that it covered most of the tires on my truck. I changed my alarm clock from the buzzer setting to the radio, carefully tuning it on the AM setting to find a news station.

Apparently, a foot of snow had fallen since Edward dropped me off late last night and local schools and small businesses were closed due to the blizzard conditions we were expected to experience until early afternoon. The white out was making it impossible for work crews to get out to clear the roads, trapping most people in their homes for the day.

I remembered the project I had never completed and smiled to myself, grateful to have a reprieve as I crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin and quickly snuggling back into sleep.

The next time I woke up, my room was already filled with bright white sunlight as it bounced off the glistening snow and filtered in through my window. Only thirty minutes had passed, so I couldn't figure out what woke me up when I really wasn't ready to crawl out of bed yet. That was when I heard the rattling coming from my front yard. I stood up, pulling the blanket around me as I shuffled over to the window to look out at the gleaming white world.

There, bundled up against the cold was my own personal snow angel, kneeling down in the snow near the rear of my truck. I pulled open the window, shivering against the draft that raced into my room as I shouted down to him. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at me, the bright snow paling in comparison to his brilliant smile. "Trying to surprise you…"

I beamed. "It worked!"

"I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." He cocked his head to the side, his smile fading as our eyes locked across the distance.

"Don't be silly. I'll be down in a minute!" I pushed the window closed, stepping away so he wouldn't notice me yawning. Truth be told, I was absolutely exhausted, but there was no way in hell I was passing up a chance to spend time with him.

I snatched the pair of sweat pants I had hung over the back of my desk chair and grabbed the first sweatshirt that my fingers touched upon in my drawer. It wasn't the sexiest outfit, but I didn't want to keep him waiting outside while I attempted to dress up for him, so I figured it would do. I stripped and dressed in the least graceful performance known to man as I hobbled over to the bathroom to gargle with some mouthwash and pulled the brush through my hair.

I was downstairs in just over three minutes, standing on the front porch watching him fidget with my front, driver's side tire. "Edward, what are you doing?"

He called over his shoulder without really looking at me. "I'm putting chains on your tires."

"You don't have to do that, my dad usually does that for me! Seriously – come inside, it's freezing out here!" I crossed my arms over my chest, rubbing my hands up and down my arms briskly to warm myself.

"I'm almost done." He called back, remaining focused on my tire.

"Can I help?" I asked, staring at the white ground, debating on whether or not I had the nerve to step out into the snow.

"Really, I'm good. But, do you think you could get a fire going?" I heard his voice tremble as he shivered against the chill.

"Come in as soon as you can, I don't want you to get sick, okay?" He nodded curtly without turning around.

I closed the door, feeling a mixture of flattery that he would take the initiative to come over and take care of me without prompting and sympathy that he was out there doing something for me and there was nothing I could do in return. So, instead, I focused on building a roaring fire, heating up some hot tea and whipping up some eggs, bacon and toast in an effort to warm him as soon as he came inside.

Just as I was about to remove the eggs from the burner, I looked up to find him standing in the kitchen doorway, his face red and blotchy from the winter cold. I set the frying pan down on the back burner and raced around the island, throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing him fiercely. "You really didn't have to come over to do that. My dad usually takes care of it before he leaves – I would have hated it if you came all the way over here for nothing."

His hands gripped my waist, rubbing gently up and down my sides. "Well, the snow chains were already hanging over the side of your truck, so it looks like he was getting ready to, but he probably had to leave pretty quickly to get to one of the accidents."

"Accidents?" My eyebrows shot up.

"There's been three already this morning. They're saying that they believe there may already be one fatality, though it hasn't been confirmed."

I wrapped my arms more tightly around his neck, squeezing him with everything I had. "You shouldn't have come over! You could have gotten hurt!"

"I had to. I was worried…" He dropped his head, his brows knitting together. "You didn't answer your phone."

I pulled back, hitting my forehead with the palm of my hand. "I forgot to charge it when I got home. It's probably dead."

He cupped my face between his gloved hands. "I just came over to make sure you were alright. When I got here and saw your truck out front, I assumed you were sleeping. I didn't mean to wake you up, but I saw the chains and just figured I might as well finish the job so I'd know you'd be safe."

"Thank you. Why don't you take off your coat and get comfortable – I made us some breakfast to warm up." Remembering that I still had the bacon on a pretty high heat, I released him and raced back to the stove, turning the burner off and checking that I hadn't burnt anything.

His blue jeans looked larger than usual, presumably because he was layering up underneath. His black leather jacket peeked out from under a heavier, insulated jacket and beneath all of that was a light grey hoodie. He was wearing thick gloves that matched the winter coat and a few snowflakes clung to his black knit cap.

"How did you get here?"

He was pulling off his gloves and pushing them deep down into the pockets of his jacket. "Snowmobile."

I could feel my eyes light up. "Really? I always thought those looked like fun."

"You've never been on one?" I shook my head, turning around to retrieve the plates and silverware. "How can you live in the Northwest and never ride a snowmobile? That's like, blasphemy or something."

"Dramatic much?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him as I scooped the eggs onto our plates. "I've only lived with my dad for a little over a year and due to the fact that I'm accident prone, he tends to frown upon me becoming involved in outdoor activities. Especially those that involve powerful, motorized vehicles."

Edward smirked as he hung the heaviest coat over the back of the kitchen chair and shrugged off his leather jacket. "Wow, I'm like your father's dream come true, aren't I?"

I giggled, as I carried the plates over to the table. "Maybe not at first glance, but how could he dislike a guy who buys me a helmet and then comes over in a blizzard to put snow chains on my truck?"

He licked his finger and drew two marks in the air proudly. "Two points for the boyfriend."

The silverware clattered against the table top as I froze, bent partially over the table, eye to eye with him.

His eyes went wide, looking absolutely panicked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I meant boyfriend as in a friend who's a boy…right?"

I swallowed, caught in the awkward moment. I have a tendency to shy away from uncomfortable situations, but I'll be damned if I was going to waste this opportunity. "Do you…_want_…to be my boyfriend?"

It was his turn to swallow as he reached out and took my hand, his eyes appearing deep and vulnerable. "I want whatever I can get, Bella."

I didn't even attempt to hide my smile. Instead, I licked my finger and marked a score in the air. "In that case, three points for the boyfriend!" I leaned in quickly, pecking him on the cheek before I lost my nerve, and tried to disguise my glee as I turned around to retrieve our hot tea.

I sat down across from him as I set the two mugs down on the table. He reached across the table and took my hand in his. It made it difficult for me to eat; not because I couldn't use my left hand - since I'm right handed that wasn't a problem - but because the butterflies didn't leave much room for the bacon and eggs.

"How long can you stay?" I asked as I began washing our plates.

I jumped when he came up behind me, his hands riding up just beneath the hem of my sweatshirt so that his fingers were tickling over the skin on my waist, his breath ghosting along my neck. "I'm yours all day." I leaned back into him, suddenly forgetting about the dishes. "Why? What did you have in mind?"

Several answers crossed my mind – all but one which were sure to put me on Santa's naughty list.

I stuck with the pg-13 answer. "Can we go out on your snow mobile?" I asked excitedly, spinning around in his arms so that I was leaning back against the sink with my hands on his forearms.

He laughed. "Wow, we've been boyfriend and girlfriend for an hour and I'm already corrupting Daddy's little girl." He smirked.

The wayward thoughts that statement inspired only furthered his point. "Actually, you corrupted Daddy's little girl the moment you drove me home on the back of your motorcycle."

He chuckled. "Wow, I really can't wait to meet your dad. That's going to be one fun introduction."

"So? Snowmobile?" I asked, my eyes lighting up once again.

He looked out the kitchen window where the snow continued to fall heavily. "Not during the white-out, it's too dangerous." I pouted. "But when it clears up in an hour or so, I'm taking you for the ride of your life."

_Was is just me, or did everything he said sound like a sexual innuendo? _

I hugged him tightly once again. "Thank you!"

He wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up and swinging me around effortlessly. "Trust me, the pleasure's all mine."

"So, what do you suggest we do until then?"

He pursed his lips as he thought about it, and my thoughts drifted as I focused on his soft, moist, kissable mouth, licking my lips as I tried to imagine what it would feel like pressed against mine. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Huh?"

"Do you wanna watch a movie while we wait for the weather to clear up?"

"Oh, yeah. Movie. Right. Um, what do you want to watch?" I asked, trying to blink away my fantasies.

"I don't know…what do you have?"

I took his hand and led him over to the living room where we had a tower of DVD's, letting him choose one as I stoked the fire, which had now had time to develop into a lovely little inferno.

After I placed a quick call to Aro to confirm that he was closing the stand down for the day, Edward turned the tv on and slipped the DVD in. I snuggled into the corner of the couch, pulling the blanket off the back of the sofa and holding it up for him to slide in beneath it. He smiled as he turned around and found me waiting for him, bashfully slinking over to the couch and kicking off his shoes before slipping in under the blanket. He stared at me for a minute, looking…curious. It took me a minute, but I eventually realized that the way I was leaning against the corner of the couch made it impossible for him to get near me. The moment I figured it out, he smiled – apparently seeing it dawn on my face. I readjusted myself so that I was leaning against his side, my cheek against his broad chest and one arm wrapped across his torso. He laid his arm over my shoulders, pulling the blanket tight around us.

I laughed out loud when he pressed play and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" started up.

"What? This is a classic!" He mocked taking offense.

"My dad is going to love you!" I choked out.

He pushed me far enough away so that he could look into my face with a confused expression. "He's watched this every Christmas morning since he was a kid. It's sort of a tradition." I explained.

He laughed freely before pulling me back against him, resuming our tangled position.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I was woken up by the rough clearing of a man's throat and, in the instant before my eyes shot open, I already knew it wasn't good. The way Edward's body instantly tensed beneath me alerted me that he knew it wasn't good either.

I sat up straight, distancing myself from my boyfriend, giggling internally as the word crossed my mind.

"Hey Dad." I smiled feebly.

"Bella." Instead of smiling back, he chose to glare at Edward, who immediately jumped off the couch and extended his hand.

"Hi Chief Swan. I'm Edward C…" He coughed abruptly and looked over his shoulder at me, as if he'd just choked on his own name. I worried when he doubled over into an absolute coughing fit, his face flushing in the process. Even my dad looked suddenly concerned as he stepped forward, patting Edward awkwardly on the back.

"I'll get you some water." I announced, racing for the kitchen feeling helpless.

I could hear him choking a minute longer as I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it quickly from the tap, but by the time Ii turned off the faucet, it sounded like the worst was over. Edward and my father both looked at me uncomfortably as I returned with the glass of water, handing it to Edward and caressing his back soothingly as he drank.

"Are you okay?" My father asked, resuming his expression of dissatisfaction.

"Yes sir." Edward nodded. "My apologies."

"Good." My dad answered gruffly. "Bella, do you care to explain what's going on?"

"Edward came over when he couldn't reach me this morning because he heard there'd been an accident and he was worried about me. I woke up to find him putting on the snow chains you left." I thought it best to point out all of his best attributes – protective, kind, considerate, gentlemanly. I knew my dad would feel guilty about not putting the chains on my tires before he left, but I also knew it would instantly make him respect Edward.

Sure enough, my dad cleared his throat once again, his eyebrows knitting together as he processed the fact that Edward had taken care of me. He extended his hand towards Edward this time, and Edward grinned as he shook it. "I got called out to the scene and had to go. I appreciate you finishing that up for me." He explained. I could tell he was still sizing Edward up, not easily forgiving the fact that he just found us curled up together on the couch, but my dad was also man enough to give credit where credit was due.

"Bella, can I speak to you for a moment?" He asked, walking towards the kitchen without waiting for an answer. His voice let me know that the worst was yet to come. I waited till my dad was out of ear shot before turning back to Edward to squeeze his hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, I'll be right back."

I walked into the kitchen to find my dad filling a glass with water. "Is he your boyfriend?" He asked, staring out the window above the sink as he brought the glass to his lips.

The giddy feeling that accompanied the word "boyfriend" was tinged with a flash of worry about his reaction. I swallowed the emotions down. "Yes sir."

"How long?" The fact that he wouldn't look at me was what made me the most nervous.

"Actually, we just made it official this morning." I fought the urge to smile as I said that.

My father turned on me, his eyes wide and his eyebrows arched. "What do you mean you _made it official?"_

It took me a second to understand what he was getting at, but when I got it, it knocked the wind out of me. "No! Not that!" I walked over to him so that I could whisper to him. "Geez, dad, we haven't even kissed! I just mean that we agreed we wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, that's all." I took the glass from his hand, chugging the rest of his water down as my throat and mouth were suddenly parched. With the glass empty, I wound around him to refill it from the tap.

"So, on the couch…" He let the question trail off, leaving it for me to fill in the blanks.

"It was cold. We shared a blanket. We watched a movie and just happened to fall asleep." I took another sip of water before handing the glass back to him. "If you got to know him, you'd like him. I let him choose the movie and, of everything we own, he chose _A Charlie Brown Christmas._"

"_A Charlie Brown Christmas_, huh?" He grinned approvingly as he brought the glass back to his lips. "You know, they say girls usually fall for guys that remind them of their dads?" He suggested.

"Dad, _please._ I mean, I would like to kiss the guy someday – don't ruin it for me."

_Hopefully sooner than later._

My dad waved his hand at me, a troubled look on his face. "Alright, I won't mention that again if you stop talking about kissing the guy. Okay?"

"Alright." I agreed, giving him a quick hug.

"Bella? Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to let you know that the weather's clearing up." Edward looked worriedly back and forth between me and my dad.

"Do you all have plans? I don't really want you going anywhere, Bella. Even with the snow chains, the roads aren't safe right now-"

"Actually, Edward was going to take me for a ride on his snowmobile." I said, edging toward my nervous boyfriend.

"Snowmobile?" I could hear the reluctance in my dad's voice.

"It's a safer way to travel when the snow's this thick." Edward explained responsibly.

"Does he have any idea how klutzy you are?" My dad stage whispered.

"Dad!" I exclaimed.

Edward just laughed. "Actually, I've already bought a helmet for her. I was going to take her to a clearing nearby, so we won't have to worry about ice, traffic or too many trees."

My dad frowned, seeming a little aggravated that Edward had all the right answers. Then he nodded toward me with his chin. "You have your cell phone?"

Darn. Edward was doing so well, only to have my mistake ruin it.

"Actually, I believe she forgot to charge her cell phone, but I have mine and you're welcome to have the number so you can reach us at any time." I turned to stare at him incredulously, partially impressed and partially feeling like a child whose care was being carefully negotiated.

My dad wasn't great with cell phones, so I held my hand out for it and quickly saved Edward's number. It wasn't until I caught both men looking at me that I realized I just revealed that I had the thing memorized. I didn't acknowledge it, choosing instead to hand my father his phone back and blush in silence.

ooo (*O*) ooo

It was a little nerve wracking to climb on behind Edward with my father watching us warily from the front porch. Between him scrutinizing our every move and the thick, cumbersome winter clothes, I didn't attempt to cling to Edward as tightly as I usually did on the bike.

I could tell Edward was feeling the pressure, too, as he very slowly set the vehicle in motion, gently pulling away from our front lawn and carefully guiding us through a huge path between the trees.

Once the house was out of sight, he let the machine idle, flipping up the visor of his helmet and leaning back so that he could talk to me. I flipped up my visor so that I could hear.

"Ready to have some fun?" He asked, that mischievous gleam that I loved sparkling in his eyes.

"You bet!"

"Hold on tight." I wrapped my arms around him. "Oh, come on, Bella. We both know you can do better than that." He scooted back in the seat, his ass rubbing deliciously up against the exposed center of my parted legs while he grabbed my wrists, pulling my arms so tight around him that I could interlock my fingers. "That's better." He husked before flipping down my visor, flipping down his own and turning around, leaning forward as the snowmobile rocketed forward.

I was wrapped so tightly around him that I ended up leaning over him as he leaned forward, his rear end bouncing against me with every dip and bump that we flew over.

I was torn between innocent, childlike merriment as we raced over the endless field of white and a more mature, erotic sensations that were constantly building within me with absolutely no reprieve in sight.

We rode together until my legs started to go numb from the mixture of cold, desire and the vehicles ceaseless vibrations. He slowed the vehicle to a stop as I patted him on the shoulder, each of us flipping up our visors once again. "Everything okay?" He asked, breathless from the adrenaline rush.

I smiled. "Yeah. Do you think we could take a break, though? I can't feel my legs!" I laughed giddily.

He shut off the machine, pulling off his helmet to reveal his riotous inferno of hair. I squeezed out of my helmet, quickly flipping my hair over and running my fingers through it to ensure that it wouldn't look as if it was plastered to my head.

He climbed off of the machine and I swear, just watching the sensual way he moved his legs and hips to dismount made my girlie parts rejoice.

He stood beside me, offering his hand to help me stand up.

It was no use. The moment I attempted to plant my left foot onto the ground, the snow gave in beneath me, sucking my left leg down into the abyss. With my right leg still swung over the machine, I ended up leaning far too much to the left, clutching at Edward as I went tumbling down. Even his grace and strength were not enough to save me as I pulled him off balance in the snow, taking him down with me.

I landed in a cradle of white with Edward landing face down on top of me, our bodies perfectly aligned.

"Are you okay?" He asked, too worried about me to be embarrassed by the predicament.

I, on the other hand, had no reason to be worried as I broke into a hysterical fit of embarrassed giggles.

Edward eventually began laughing along with me, our bodies vibrating against one another delightfully. However, soon our laughter ebbed as we became aware of the weight of his body pressing down on mine.

His large glove reached up above my face as he traced the back of his fingers from my temple down my jaw. "It is absolutely amazing…" he started, looking at me in that way that liquefied my insides. "…how someone so small can take down a man twice her size." His face lit up with his smile.

I growled, shoving against his shoulders and catching him off guard as I rolled, pushing him over into the snow so that I was now straddling him with my hands on his chest. "And don't you forget it!" I shouted, climbing up to my feet as quickly as I could and trying to make a run for it.

I didn't make it three steps before he reached out and grabbed my ankle, causing me to fall face first into the soft snow. "Aha! Think you're sneaky, don't you!" He shouted, struggling to his knees.

I took advantage of his distraction and grabbed a hand full of snow, rolling over onto my side and flinging it at him, watching the little ball splatter against his head.

"You brat!" he yelled, crawling through the snow to cage me beneath him.

And so the fight started.

We raced around the open field, throwing fistfuls of snow at each other, taking turns tagging or tackling each other, the snow cushioning our fall and enveloping us each and every time, laughing, screaming and yelping like children.

When we wore ourselves out, we collapsed into a particularly deep drift, staring up at the thick clouds and pointing out different shapes to one another, watching as the wind blew the shapes on by.

We made a snow family – a father, mother, sister and brother complete with a little dog that we named _Mittens._

And of course, what snow day would be complete without snow angels.

I couldn't remember a more enjoyable snow day in all of my life, and it was nothing but him and me alone in a field for hours. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize the moment. How the wind biting at my cheeks felt invigorating or the way it felt like we were the only two people in the world when he held me and rocked me side to side.

I wanted to bottle it all and keep it on a shelf – to unlock it in case of an emergency when something happened to make me forget how very wonderful and beautiful life could be.

_This is what happiness is._

"We should get back before it gets dark." He warned.

"Do we have to?" I pouted. "Can't we just build an igloo and live here?"

He laughed, climbing onto the snowmobile and holding out his hand for me to climb on behind him.

As we raced home against the sunset, I tried to ignore the feeling that I was leaving something behind in the meadow.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I could tell that Edward wanted to stay for dinner as badly as I wanted him to stay, but I convinced him that it was more important that he get home while it was still light out. The day had been absolutely too wonderful to risk it ending with him injuring himself on the way home. So, after he said his goodbyes to my father, I walked him back out.

He leaned back on the snowmobile, taking my hands and pulling me between his parted knees so that he could easily reach up to rest his arms around my hips. I laid my arms casually over his shoulders, my fingers playing absentmindedly with the ends of his hair.

"Thank you so much for coming over today. For making sure that I was okay, taking care of me and then giving me the best snow day _ever._" I smiled.

"Thank _you_ for being okay and for agreeing to be my girlfriend. Best Christmas gift _ever._" He teased, repeating the way I had sounded.

I stared into his emerald eyes, that familiar feeling of longing hijacking my body.

He stood up, dipping his head, his intense eyes locked on mine as he lowered his lips slowly, inch by inch, until I could taste his breath. He brought his hand up to my neck and jaw, his thumb reaching out to caress my cheek and touch upon the corner of my mouth. My heart raced as the pad of his thumb traced over my top lip, circling back to pull down gently on the most pouty part of my bottom lip, my breath coming in quick gasps.

His lips ghosted gently past mine, so close that I could feel the buzzing between us as they whispered over my cheek, along my jaw and up to my ear. "Good night, Bella." He husked before slowly pulling back and releasing me from his hypnotic trance

"_What_?" I asked, surprised that I said it out loud.

"What's the matter?" His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to cup my cheek.

"I thought you liked me?" I hated how insecure I sounded.

"I asked you to be my girlfriend, Bella. Of course I like you!"

"Then why…I mean, don't you…" I struggled for words, each thing I decided to say sounding stupider than the last. "Never mind." I shrugged away from him, dropping my head in embarrassment and aggravation and defeat.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. It's stupid. Forget it." I closed up, regretting having said anything in the first place.

"Bella, nothing you think or say is stupid to me. What's bothering you? Why in the world would you doubt that I like you?"

I looked up, trying to read his honest reaction in his eyes, knowing once again that I was about to sound small and weak and vulnerable and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it. _"Don't you want to kiss me?"_

He leaned over, taking my face in both of his hands and staring intently into my eyes, trying to communicate as much with his look as he did with his words. "Of course I want to kiss you! My God, it's all I've been able to think about since the photo shoot!"

I seized the moment, standing on my tip toes, leaning into him, cupping his face the same way that he was holding mine. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Although he continued to clasp my face between his hands, he leaned back away from me. "I'm waiting to feel like I'm worthy of kissing you." I could see the heart break and self loathing in his eyes.

I huffed in exasperation. "Edward, that doesn't even make any sense!"

He stared into my eyes, searching for answers I wasn't sure I wanted him to find. "Bella, have you ever been kissed before?"

The question caught me off guard so that I couldn't have lied, even if I wanted to. The answer was clear on my face.

"You're first real kiss should be special. With _someone_ special. It's something you're going to remember for the rest of your life." He pleaded with me to understand.

"You _are_ special. Why can't you see that?" I begged.

He dropped his hands, sighing. "Because I know me a little better than you do."

I pulled my hands away from his face, folding my arms over my chest, feeling defiant and too vulnerable for my liking. "So, you expect to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but we're not going to kiss. Is that right?" I regretted it the moment I said it – it sounded too much like an ultimatum that I wasn't willing to make.

He leaned forward, reaching out to stroke my cheek, fighting against the disconnect that was happening between us. "Of course not – not forever. Just give me a little bit of time. I'm working on being a better man for you, I promise." His thumb traced over my lips again and the gesture literally made me ache. "I don't want to be someone you regret. I'm just trying to figure out how to make that happen."

I couldn't help pouting.

"Look at me." He instructed in a voice that was so sincere I had no choice but to obey. His eyes locked on mine once again as he slowly dipped his face toward mine.

_Please no. Not again. I can't take any more of the teasing – it hurts too much each every time you pull away._

But he didn't pull away. His lips met mine – soft, gentle and candy sweet for the briefest of moments before our first kiss ended. He leaned his forehead against mine, both of our eyes closed as he circled the tip of his nose around mine seductively. We stayed like that for a moment before he spoke again – begging_...pleading._ "I know that's not what you're asking for, but can it be enough? _For now?"_

I pulled back so that I could look him in the eyes, caressing his cheek with my fingertips. "_For now."_ I answered with a timid smile.

His hand wound around the back of my neck, securing me as he leaned in to kiss me gently, sweetly on the forehead. I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched him get on the slow mobile, taking one last, long look at me before he slipped on his helmet and raced off into the impending darkness.

Twelve minutes later, I received his text. "I'm home. Thanks for waiting."

My reply was immediate. "Whatever it is you feel you need to do…_do it soon."_

_**A/N: On the eighth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: (What the hell rhymes with "Maids a Milking?), a Christmas tree and Trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Approximately: 13 Pages / 5,968 Words**_

**Chapter 9**

"Par-tay at Rosie's house tonight!" Emmet greeted loudly as he banged into the locker room.

"I can't go, man!" Jake immediately pouted. "I already promised Nessie I'd come over and watch _It's a Wonderful Life_ with her." He soured on the movie title, sounding like it was _anything_ but wonderful.

"Aw, Jake! You're so pussy-whipped! C'mon, bring Nessie with you – it'll be so much better than watching that gay movie for the hundredth time." Em whined.

Jake just shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, man. I don't let my girl down, so she won't let _me_ down. I'm out."

He closed his locker and headed out to the kiosk.

"Cullen – you in man?" He wandered out from behind the lockers, already dressed from head to toe in Santa gear.

"I don't know, it depends."

"On what?"

"On if Bella's going, and if she's bringing that outfit with her." I could see the apples of his cheeks bunch up beneath the beard, his eyes sparkling.

"Thanks Em, but I don't think so." I wasn't willing to make any plans until I knew what Edward was doing and whether or not he planned on doing it with me.

Santa slipped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Aw, c'mon our fearless leader." He dipped his head down, the whiskers of his beard tickled against my neck. "If you don't come along, who will keep us merry elves in line?"

I grabbed his gloved hands and seperated them, stepping out of his reach. "Cullen, I'm actually starting to think you might act more like a grown up if I wasn't around to harrass."

With my bag already securely inside my locker, I spun around and walked out, leaving Em and Cullen to work out the details for their crazy night.

I _couldn't_ deny that there was something about Cullen that…_intrigued_ me. With that being said, it wasn't nearly as profound as what I had with Edward, and it most definitely was not worth the risk of finding out. Therefore, I decided to keep my distance from the mystery man. I would deal with him solely in the confines of work and attempt to remain as professional as possible. Now that I knew he would behave inappropriately with the expectation that I would get riled up, I had to work on keeping a level head. Eventually, I hoped, he would give up.

I had never had a boyfriend before and I was determined to do everything right, even if that meant no more flirting with the hot, mysterious Savage Claus.

Unfortunately, Cullen had something else in mind.

Not only did he not hound me throughout the day, but he was…_quiet._ Polite and almost shy, even.

He came up to me at the podium right before we opened and slipped a hand on my waist, gently pulling me toward him so that he could speak in a whisper. "Bella, I really need to talk to you."

"If you want to get off or get a raise, take it up with Aro." The moment I said it, my mind twisted, realizing I'd just set him up inadvertantly for two very inappropriate jokes.

Surprisingly, he didn't take the opportunity. Instead, it appeared as if he swallowed deeply beneath the white fluff. "I'm serious."

This side of him was making me nervous, so I gulped in response. "Whatever it is, Cullen, it'll have to wait. We already have customers lining up." I stepped aside and gestured for him to go to his chair, needing to distance myself from the man who was making my heart pound without even trying.

He dropped his head, looking thoroughly disappointed as he trudged up the steps to the throne.

Throughout the first half of our shift, he remained quiet and professional. I attempted to convince myself that I was not worried, but it became instantly clear that was a lie. However, the more worried I became, the less I wanted to know what was bothering him. Something told me I wasn't going to like it, I didn't want to deal with that right now when I could be spending my time giddily thinking of my boyfriend.

Whenever business slowed down, he beckoned me over to talk, but I shook my head and mouthed "not now" each time. When I gave everyone the all clear for our first fifteen minute break, I took off into Aro's office, avoiding him at all costs and only racing out at the last minute when everyone else was back in place. He gave me a knowing look just as I pulled back the velvet rope to let the first child in.

I grabbed Jake's arm as I dismissed everyone for lunch and quickly pulled him to the mall food court. By this point in time, my stomach was so twisted up that I couldn't have eaten if I wanted to, but between Jake's company and the crowded food court, I didn't think Cullen would try to approach me. As I looked over my shoulder to watch him staring on after us, I immediately knew I was right.

The sad look on his face as he once again dropped his head didn't make me feel any better, though.

Luckily, Jake managed to eat his food and most of mine, taking up twenty nine minutes of our half hour break. We raced back to the kiosk to open up to the line of people who were already waiting, but Cullen was having none of it.

He grabbed my hand and quickly tugged me behind the workshop, his gloved hand gently caressing my cheek. "Why are you avoiding me?"

I laughed weakly. "What makes you think I'm avoiding you?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Bella…"

"We don't have time for this." I pulled out of his reach, not liking the affect his proximity was once again having on my body, but he grabbed the back of my arm.

"So when _will_ you have time?" He sounded desperate.

I sighed in exasperation. "I don't know, but not now." I pulled my arm out from his grasp, smoothed my clothes and headed back out to the podium with a huge smile plastered on my face. "Who wants to see Santa!" I greeted as everyone started clapping and cheering excitedly.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I didn't know very much about Cullen, except that he was stubborn and persistent. Therefore, it should not have surprised me that he continued to try and get me alone for the rest of our shift. In all honesty, I hadn't expected any less from him. Instead, it was the way he was _behaving_ that made me uneasy. No sexual innuendos, no harrassment, no truly inappropriate touching – aside from his insistence that we talk, he was an absolute gentlemen. It frayed my nerves like live wires, leaving me jumpy.

By the end of the night, I was so anxious to get away that I honestly considered driving home in my costume instead of changing first.

Apparently, Emmet had other plans.

Jacob, Cullen and I all gasped as we walked into the locker room to find the doors to our lockers wide open. A festive invitation was taped to the first locker with a note roughly scrawled in permanent marker on the outside.

"_**That's right, mofo's - I've stolen your shit! If you want to see it again, come to Rosie's house and prepare to chill the fuck out cuz I'm not giving it back until I'm convinced you've enough fun! See you there! -Em"**_

"Holy Shit, he's hijacked our stuff!" Jacob gawked.

"I don't know how in the world he expects us to get there! My keys were in my bag!" I whined, my amusement taking the edge off of my anger.

Cullen just laughed. "Looks like you can't get away from me this time." He murmured under his breath. I turned to glare at him, but the happy look in his eyes caught me off guard and I ended up smirking.

"C'mon, Bells, I'll drive." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the keys to the Rabbit.

"Jake, mind if I hitch a ride? My keys were in my other pants." Cullen asked.

"Sure man, we're all victims here." Jake snorted without humor.

I climbed into the front seat of the VW, despite Cullen's invitation to join him in the back seat. Instead, he sat down behind me, hugging my seat in a way that placed his cheek nearly right beside mine.

In doing my best to keep my promise that I would'nt let him upset me, I put up with it silently for the first five minutes of the ride before his nearness was making my skin flush. "Do you think you could sit back just a little?"

"Why would I want to do a thing like that?" I caught just a hint of the pain in the ass I had come to know. "If I get too far away, you might make another run for it, and I can't let that happen again. I meant it when I said I needed to talk to you."

I huffed, not wanting to give in to an argument, and leaned away from him, hissing and shivering as the cold window pressed against my bare shoulder.

Soon, we pulled up in front of Rosalie's brightly lit home and I climbed out of the warmth of the car to brave the chilly winter night, seriously wishing I had my sweater…or preferably, Edward's jacket. I warmed a little at the thought. I gritted my teeth, Cullen's nearness setting me on edge so that I was no longer amused by Emmet's little stunt. I wanted to run inside, tell him off, grab my things and get out of there.

Without waiting for the guys, I stormed up to the front door and banged loudly. Emmet threw open the door, topping off his elf costume with a Santa hat and a glass of egg nog. "Ho Ho Ho! Merrrrrrry Christmas!" He greeted, picking me up with his other arm and swinging me around the room.

He was a terribly difficult man to stay mad at.

"Emmet! C'mon, put me down…just let me get my things so I can go." I whined, smacking against his broad back.

"Bella! What's the point? You're already here…you might as well relax and enjoy yourself." His smile widened. "Here, have some eggnog." He handed me his glass.

"Why does it look brownish?" I asked, eyeing the glass skeptically.

"Rose put nutmeg in it. Try it! It's good." His dimples shone in all their glory.

I sipped at it. I had never tried it with nutmeg before. It was amazing how much of a difference it made, though it was still really good.

After a couple of glasses of eggnog - with the upbeat music and the happy people all around me - I quickly forgot why I was so angry and why I hadn't wanted to come in the first place. Soon, I pulled Jacob out into the middle of the living room with the other party goers and started dancing along to the music, competing with Jacob to see who could do the cheesiest dance move.

I had never gone dancing before – it's amazing how thirsty you get! But, Emmet was always on the sidelines waiting with another glass of eggnog for me. I had to give it to him – he was a pretty good host.

Cullen sulked in the corner for a while, but after he had a couple of glasses of eggnog, I noticed he finally loosened up enough to join Jake and I on the dance floor.

Aside from being warm and sweaty from dancing and feeling a little dizzy, I was having the time of my life!

When the introduction to "Santa Baby" started playing, I grabbed Cullen. "I need a Santa!" I yelled, louder than intended, and pulled him back through the living room, pushing him down onto a chair that had been brought in from the dining room. Everyone backed up, forming a circle around us.

As I began to channel Eartha Kit's sensuality, the rest of the world fell away – taking the spectators and their cheering with it until it was just Cullen and I. I was like a locomotive, running solely on the electricity that we generated together. As I swayed my hips and danced around him, flirting and leading him, his eyes darkened and the Mr. Nice Guy who had been annoying me all day disappeared completely as my Savage Santa began to break through.

He ran his hands from the outside of my knees, up my thighs, over my skirt and onto my hips as I straddled him, rocking back and forth with the music. I dipped low, letting him peek at my cleavage as I leaned forward, reaching through the beard to stroke his lips as I sang "Think of all the fella's that I haven't kissed." I felt, rather than heard, the growl resonating in his chest.

I was burning up, functioning on autopilot, as if the self destruct button had been pushed and I was doomed to keep operating until my absolute demise.

Something deep inside told me that something was wrong. That this was bad. That I shouldn't be doing this. But being with him felt so incredibly right that I couldn't seem to get a grasp on what could be bad about it.

As the song ended, I fisted the white fur of his coat and pulled him up from the chair, yanking him to follow me out of the room. A second later, I didn't have to pull him as hard as his hand came up from behind, sliding from my lower back around my waist so that he was almost carrying me along.

We swooped down a deserted hallway and he twisted the first door knob he came into contact with, turning it and pushing the door open quickly, hurrying me inside.

Once the door was closed, he pushed me against it. My heart was a jackhammer, trying to break violently through my rib cage.

"What do you want, Bella?" He husked.

"Kiss me." I didn't care that my voice came out in quiet desperation.

"Are you sure?" He asked, panting.

I fisted the lapel of his jacket once again and pulled his face to mine, clenching my eyes and kissing him despite the white hair that was in the way. A minute later, with my eyes still shut, he pulled away for a brief second and when his lips crashed back against mine, he was free of the fake beard.

Soft, warm, moist, fierce lips tackled mine anxiously – greedily – and the apex of my thighs responded like a match had been set to dry kindle – a fire sparking and raging to life between my legs.

I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him, struggling to get closer as my fingers drifted into a luxurious head of hair that I had never seen before. It was short and soft and thick and the feel of it made me moan into his mouth.

Suddenly, his tongue invaded my mouth and I pulled back slightly, taken momentarily aback from the weird sensation. "Sorry." He whispered as he trailed kisses over my jaw and down my neck. Chills raced from his heated lips, down my throat, over my shoulders and chest until I felt them resonating in my nipples, which had now hardened as they rubbed tenderly against the cups of my bra. It made me feel brazen as I gripped the back of his head and pulled his lips back to mine, braving to slowly slip my tongue between his lips. Something warm and metallic danced against my tongue as he sucked gently, and the feeling created an aching vacuum between my legs.

I lifted my knee slightly, rubbing my naked inner thigh against the outside of his red velvet covered leg. He reached down, sliding his hand over my thigh before his fingers curled behind my knee and hitched my leg up. Without thinking, I jumped up slightly and, with his help, I found my legs wrapped around him as he thrusted forward, pinning me against the door, which was now rattling behind me.

His hands wandered over my body – my hair, my neck, my temple and cheeks…my shoulders, arms, back, sides, ass…It was too much for my mind to process as my fingertips studied his body in return, our kissing becoming absolutely chaotic with desperation, desire and need.

"Bellaaaa…." He moaned, and my body arched into the way his voice caressed my name.

"Edward…" I moaned in response, my body tensing immediately.

"Edward!" I shouted as I unwrapped my legs to allow myself to stand back on the ground. "I have a boyfriend!" In the two seconds since I realized what I had done wrong, my eyes were already tearing up. "I can't do this!" I placed my hands on his shoulders and shoved, feeling so sick and miserable that I thought I might throw up.

He stepped back, the fog of lust slowly clearing from his green eyes. "Bella, wait." He cried.

I blinked, willing the puddle of tears to spill over so that I could see better, because I could not believe my eyes.

"Bella, let me explain." Edward said, his hands up as if in surrender.

Yes – there was my boyfriend in an elaborate red and white suit, appearing as if he were suddenly terrified.

"Edward?" I asked incredulously, the tears running dry as soon as they had started.

"I told you I needed to talk to you." His brows knitted together as he stepped back towards me, his arms outstretched as if to hold me.

I swatted his hands away.

"What the hell…" My brows furrowed deeply over my eyes as I shook my head, having trouble making sense of it all. "You're Cullen?"

"I tried to tell you. I didn't mean for you to find out like this…" His hands were still reaching out toward me, palm up, his face dipped low so that he could look into my eyes.

"You mean you didn't want for me to find out that you would only kiss me in a Santa Costume? Or, maybe you just didn't mean for me to find out at all, is that it?"

"Bella, no…it's not like that…it's the eggnog…" He spluttered.

"That doesn't even make any sense, _Cullen_!" I shouted, my hand settling on the door knob behind me.

"Bella, call me Edward." He pleaded as he appeared to fight back tears.

"No, because _Edward_ would not have done this to me. What the hell, was this just some kind of sick game to you? The prank to end all pranks?" My anger flared out as depression, hurt and embarrassment flooded in to take it's place.

_What if it all meant nothing? What if __**I**__ meant nothing?_

"Bella, it's not like that, I promise! Please, let me explain."

My eyebrows were knitted together so deeply that it was making my head hurt. "The photo shoot. The bike ride. The snowmobile. The snowchains." I played every moment over in my head, trying to figure out how I couldn't have known. "I'm an idiot. You absolutely played me like a fool."

Tears streaked down his cheeks. "No, Bella. I'm the fool. It's me."

My eyebrows rose up, my jaw clenched. "Don't you _dare_ say 'It's not you, it's me' Cullen! Don't even think about it!" I turned the knob and pushed out of the room, swaying a little from side to side as I navigated down the hallway, Cullen on my heels.

"Bella, you don't look good. Why don't you let me-"

"Leave me alone, Cullen!" I shouted over my shoulder, the movement making me so dizzy that I almost ran into a potted plant at the end of the hallway.

I looked up in time to see that Jake had already spotted me and was pushing through the crowd to get to me.

"Bella, I'm telling you, I think there was something in the eggnog. I'm feeling it too. Maybe you should just sit down-"

I tripped, landing right into Jacob's arms. "Bells, what's the matter?" He steadied me, pushing the hair out of my face and tilting my chin so that I was looking up at him.

"Can we go, Jake? Please? I just want to go home." I whined, tears and nausea battling for dominance.

He looked over my shoulder at Cullen with an inquisitive look before stepping up beside me to lead me out. Suddenly, my hand flew over my mouth as I gagged, the contents of my empty stomach heaving upwards.

Jake swooped me off my feet and went running back down the hallway, the back and forth motion of his running making the world spiral out of control. He kicked open a door and lowered me to the floor, lifting the toilet lid and leaning me over seconds before the acid washed back up my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted black boots and red pants. "Get out!" I shouted without looking up, the sound of my own voice making my head pound.

"I think you better leave her alone for now." Jacob suggested. I recognized the barely restrained threat in his voice. He was trying to keep his calm for my benefit, but he would kick Cullen's ass if he thought he was bothering me.

The black boots stepped away as my body wretched once again.

Soon, I heard things crashing in the living room as girls screamed and guys shouted.

My eyes went wide as I looked up at Jacob. "What's going on?" I asked, worry flavoring my voice.

He stroked the stray hairs out of my face and behind my ear comfortingly. "I don't know, sweetie."

I suddenly wish I had that bottle of happiness back at home on my book shelf. I knew it would come in handy sooner or later.

That was the last thing that ran through my mind as I heaved once more and blacked out.

ooo (*O*) ooo

"Hey Bells." My father whispered as I blinked against the sunlight.

"Hey." I muttered through my dry, aching throat.

"Jake told me you started feeling ill at work last night, so he gave you a ride home. He was passed out on the couch when I got home. Sounds like he was pretty worried about you." I closed my eyes, unable to face daylight yet, only bits of the previous night filtering through my cloudy mind. "How are you feeling now?"

I clapped my dry tongue around the inside of my tasteless mouth. "Parched." He reached towards a glass of orange juice sitting on my night stand and slid it over to me, condensation dripping down its side. I sat up too quickly, the room spinning around me dizzily as I attempted to steady myself in the bed. When the room settled back on its axis, I reached for the drink, sipping gingerly to wet my mouth and tongue and testing the liquid on my sensitive stomach. I kept the fluid down, but decided to take it easy for the time being.

"I know you're not feeling well, but one of your coworkers is here to see you. If you're not up for it, I'll send him away…I didn't like the looks of him anyway."

I was assaulted by the revelations of the previous night as I considered that it might be Cullen, but then I remembered that my dad would have announced him as my boyfriend, not my coworker.

_Boyfriend. What a joke._

I leaned over the side of the bed and reached for the wastebasket, fearing that my memories were going to make me sick again. Luckily, everything stayed down where it belonged.

"It's obvious you're not well enough for company, so I'll tell him to come back." I reached out and grabbed at my Dad's arm as he stood up. If it wasn't Jake or Edward, I realized it was most likely Emmet and, sick or not, I really wanted some answers.

"I'm alright Dad. Can you send him in?"

"You sure, Bells?"

I nodded and then clenched my eyes shut, instantly regretting it.

Dad smoothed back my hair and kissed me on the forehead before stepping out of the room. I leaned back against the headboard and closed my eyes while I waited.

"You look like shit." Emmet's voice broke through seconds before I drifted off into sleep.

I opened one eye, then the other as I registered the damages to his face. "So do you! What the hell happened, Em?" Despite the black eye, swollen nose and split lip, he still managed a shy, dimpled smile.

"I may have gotten my ass kicked last night. But I deserved it." He stepped over cautiously, taking up the desk chair that my father had left beside my bed. "I'm really sorry about the eggnog, Bella."

_The eggnog? What about the eggnog? Hadn't Cullen said…_

"Oh my god, you still don't know?" He leaned forward, his bloodied mouth opened in a shocked "o" shape. "Bella, there was rum in the eggnog."

"I asked you what was in it!" I shouted, clamping my hands against my temples to stop the instant throbbing.

"I know, but when I realized you didn't know, I thought it would be funny…" He let the sentence drift off, bowing his head in shame. A moment later, he looked up at me from under dark lashes. "I'm sorry. It wasn't funny. It was wrong and I feel terrible about it. Rose is pissed at me and, well, Cullen taught me a lesson or two as well."

I started to furrow my eyebrows, but it only made my head ache worse. "What did Cullen do?"

"That's right, you were probably passed out by that point in time. He sort of did this-" he gestured to the injuries on his once pretty face.

"Cullen beat you up?" I asked incredulously. It didn't surprise me that Cullen would do that, but I had a hard time realizing that _Edward_ did it.

"Hey, hey, hey. Way to hurt a man's pride!" Emmet mocked offense. "He got in a lucky punch or two."

I rolled my eyes and started to wonder if there was any facial expression I was going to be able to make that wouldn't hurt. "I'm sorry, Em. Cullen's an ass…"

"Don't be sorry for me." His face grew somber as he lowered it in shame. "He got the worst of it."

My eyes widened in shock.

"Dude should have known not to sucker punch a drunken oaf like me. I started wailing on him, Bella." Emmet's confession was strangled. "I went to visit him this morning to apologize and he looked awful. I already told Aro to call in Waylon for tonight's shift." My heart clenched as I began to imagine how terrible he might look. "Then _he _apologized to _me _for starting it…_as if I could possibly feel any worse about last night."_ Emmet added in a muted, guild-ridden mumble.

As much as I wanted to be mad at him and hate him for lying to me, I suddenly wanted nothing more than to jump out of bed and race over to Edward's house to make sure that he was okay. And, although Emmet had only acted in self defense, I was struggling not to slap him and yell at him for hurting a hair on Edward's head.

"He's a jackass." I muttered, trying to convince myself more than anything.

"I wouldn't say that, Bella. He did it for you."

"_What?_" The logical part of my brain thought _In what twisted world did he attack Emmet on my behalf?_ But the other part of my brain that fell for that asshole in the first place was a little excited that he would beat up someone twice his size in some lame gesture for my benefit.

"He got pissed when he figured out I spiked your eggnog. He tapped me on the shoulder, got in one good curse at my expense and then slugged me. I was so shocked, I just stood there, staring at him and that was when he punched me again. But when I finally fought back…he just took it. Literally just laid down and played dead while I pummeled him. It was like he thought he deserved it or something. Rosie was the one who finally got through to me." He ran a hand through his hair. "Needless to say, she's pissed at me too. The whole thing was pretty stupid – breaking into your lockers, stealing your stuff, getting you drunk, the fight… Needless to say, I'll be pretty lucky if she sticks around."

As dumb as he had been, it was hard not to feel bad for him. "Tell Rose you're sorry and make it up to her. And, for God's sake, don't wait for the perfect moment, Em. Just do it." I warned, wondering how different things might have turned out if Edward had just told me the truth sooner.

"For what it's worth, Edward told me what's up. The guy feels terrible, Bella." I turned my head and looked out my window, not wanting to hear it. "God messed up when he made guys. He gave us two heads and only enough blood to operate one at a time. You girls have it easy, you know?" I spluttered an awkward laugh and he smiled. "He's crazy about you. In fact, when I told him I was going to come over to apologize, he gave me something for you." He reached down beside the chair and picked up a square, thin package I hadn't noticed he brought in. "He said he wanted to give it to you for Christmas, but he's learned that some things are too important to wait for. Or, some romantic, poetic bullshit like that." He laid the gift on my covered lap and stood up. "As much as I'm dying to see what it is, I need to go and figure out a way to win back my girlfriend before some other dumb jock sweeps her off her feet."

He headed for the door and paused, turning around to look at me with nothing but sincerity on his face. "I really, really am sorry, Bella."

I nodded, grateful that it didn't hurt as bad as before. "I know, Emmet."

"Go easy on him, okay? I've beat him up enough for the two of us." My stomach twisted painfully at his words as the overwhelming need to be by his side welled up within me.

"I'll think about it." I responded.

He winked and gave me one more dimpled grin before slipping out the door.

I looked at the gift sitting on my lap, trying to decide whether or not I wanted to open it. On one hand was my nagging, childlike curiosity. On the other hand was the knowledge that he would not have had Emmet deliver this unless he thought it would make a difference, and I wasn't sure I was done being mad and hurt at him yet.

The final straw was my deep rooted, nagging need to be with him – to check how badly he was hurt and see if there was anything I could do to make it better. If I opened the gift and just allowed him to make it up to me, I could be by his side within an hour.

I looked down at the tiny gift tag, my heart stammering as I read his neat script. "To: My Bella. May I keep you? Yours Already: Edward"

I fought the urge to tear off the paper, choosing instead to slide my finger beneath the seams and carefully pry up the tape, as if I was opening a gift wrapped, national treasure.

Soon, I could feel the tightened leather cover of the object as I slipped my finger in to tear through the very last seam. The green and white paper fell away as I found myself holding a black, leather-covered, 10x10 Photo Album.

I pulled the large cover open and the very first page was black with fancy red, green and white embellishments, a single picture in the center of me in costume, throwing my head back in laughter, the light dancing off of the waves in my hair.

Written in the same neat script as the gift tag were the words "Merry Christmas".

A quick look through the pages revealed that they were all done on plain black paper so that each and every embellishment popped dramatically against the background.

The photos of me in my elf costume were cute, playful and flirty – decorated with candy canes and gingerbread men; buttons and stickers and red and green galore. I was surprised to find that I actually looked…_like a model._ He was absolutely incredible.

At the end of elf costume photos was a plain black page with nothing on it but silver writing that read "For Our Eyes Only".

The next page revealed the very first picture of me wrapped in the sheet; my head dipped low, my eyes smoldering as I stared at the camera with my fingers twisted in my own hair. My stomach knotted as I immediately recalled what I had felt at that moment – the desperate wanting and wondering.

_And now I know. He wants me. He _wanted_ me. _

_They both did._

_Just as badly as I wanted both sides of him._

Although I was covered decently, the pictures grew increasingly erotic – each black decorated simply in white with tiny satin bows, delicate lace, or small, fluffy feathers. Every so often, his silver script would decorate the page as well.

"Beautiful."

"So sexy."

"Absolutely kissable."

My hands were clammy, my breathing coming out in shallow pants as I relived the entire night one photograph at a time. I gulped when I reached the final picture – a photo of two young lovers appearing moments away from devouring each other. It had ended very differently, of course – but I knew in that moment, it was real. I don't know why he pretended to be different people, and I don't know which of them is the real deal, but he wasn't playing me.

It wasn't a game.

Below the picture, he wrote "I wanted you…" My heart seized in my chest as I turned to the very last page.

Another black page with nothing but thick, silver strokes that read: "…I still do."

I was up and out of bed instantly, my only thought getting to Edward as soon as possible.

Desperation and need was an incredible cure all for a hangover. My head still throbbed a little, and the world still revolved a little faster than normal, but it was nothing I couldn't handle anymore.

Okay, maybe it wasn't a hangover cure…more like a hangover crutch. Whatever it was, it would do.

"Off to see Edward!" I yelled over my shoulder as I snatched my purse off the hook by the front door.

Dad raced out of the kitchen, the half made sandwich resting on a plate in his outreached hand. "Bells, you really shouldn't be going out. The weather is still pretty bad and it'll only make you sicker."

I kissed him hurriedly on the cheek and smiled. "I'm fine. I'll live. Gotta go." I was in such a rush that I couldn't seem to form complete sentences. "Love you!" I yelled as I raced out into the wind, smiling at the pretty snow chains that my _boyfriend_ put on my tires.

"I'm coming, Edward." I whispered to myself as I climbed into the truck and started her up. "I'm coming."

_**A/N: On the ninth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: smutty romancing, a word that rhymes with "Milking" (any ideas?), a Christmas tree and trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Approximately: 10 Pages / 4,843 Words**_

**Chapter 10**

I sat in the truck, letting it idle in front of their beautiful home – my confidence and ire running out the moment the house came in to sight through the clearing. _What was I supposed to do? What was I going to say? What if his parents were home? How much do they know?_

I jumped when someone tapped on the passenger side window and quickly leaned across the seat to pop open the door. A petite, burgundy haired woman climbed in, pulling the solid door closed behind her as she put her hands out in front of the air vent to warm them. "It didn't look like you were planning to get out any time soon, so I thought I'd hop on out to meet you instead." She held her hand out to me confidently. "I'm Mrs. Cullen – Edward's mom. But you can call me Esme."

I shook her hand, panicked and tongue tied. She smiled warmly in response, using her other hand to clasp mine. "I've heard such wonderful things about you, Bella. You have no reason to be nervous around me. In fact, from what I hear, my son has been quite the dolt." She released my hands to put them back up in front of the air vent, gathering more heat as she shook her head. "I promise you, I raised him better than that."

My mouth hung open and silent.

"If it means anything to you, he's beaten himself up about it quite more literally and thoroughly than you ever could so, as his mother, I'd ask you to go easy on him." She hugged her arms around herself and threw open the passenger side door. "However, as a woman, I would strongly suggest you play hard to get. Don't be afraid to let him grovel a bit first." A mischievous smile spread across her pretty, pouty lips and I could instantly see where he got it from. She hopped lithely out of the truck and turned to face me. "So, you coming in?"

I smiled, my nerves successfully appeased for the time being. "I'd love to."

"It speaks!" She raised her hands like a maniacal scientist before laughing, slamming the solid door closed and walked around the front end of the truck. I shut the engine off and jumped out, meeting her by the front fender to walk side-by-side into the warm Cullen home.

I instantly spotted tiny, red and green stockinged feet on the other side of a huge Christmas tree among a sea of ornaments and ribbons that littered the plush, carpeted floor. It was a good thing that the carpet was as thick as it was, or the tiny ornament that she dropped when she heard me walk in would have otherwise shattered.

"My Bella!" She shouted as she bounded over to me, her arms open wide up in the air as her white-blonde curls bounced with every step.

"Hey Lizard Breath!" I greeted, not even aware I had used Edward's little nickname for her.

I scooped her up into my arms and squeezed her tightly, smelling jasmine in her hair. "It's Elizabeth!" She corrected, her arms interlocked around my neck so tightly that I was having trouble breathing.

"I know! That's what I said!" I giggled as I set her back down on her feet.

Carlisle came around the tree just as I released Elizabeth, who still claimed my hand in hers. "Hi Bella." He greeted, giving me a one armed hug. "I'm surprised you're here." He slid his arm around Esme as she sidled up next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist from his side. "Thank God for small Christmas miracles, huh sweetie?" He kissed her sweetly on the temple and I saw another one of Edward's many quirks brought to light.

I laughed, not quite knowing what to say. Was I glad that they seemed to know what was going on, or was I nervous about _how much_ they might know? I couldn't figure it out.

Then it occurred to me, drunk or not, that I was as much at fault as he was. Since I hadn't known that Edward was Santa, I had – for all intents and purposes – cheated on him. I hated that this fact didn't come to mind until I was in his warm, festive home surrounded by his loved ones.

I suddenly regretted getting out of bed.

Elizabeth tugged on my hand to get my attention. "Eddie's sick." She pouted. "Will you help me read to him till he gets better?"

Esme started to interject, but I shook my head to let her know that it was okay. Lizzie might be the perfect buffer to the awkwardness that was about to ensue. "I'd love to, Lizzie."

She dragged me down the hall before releasing my hand to bolt into her room, popping back out a moment later with a storybook beneath her arm. Armed with the perfect "get-better" story, her tiny fingers wrapped around mine as we walked down to the next door and she quietly peeked inside. "Eddie?" She whispered. I was impressed with her ability to be quiet and cautious – I was sure most children her age would have bounded inside and jumped on the bed.

"Yeah?" He called out with a mixture of sleepiness, sweetness, depression and pain that tugged at my heart.

"Can Bella and I read to you till you get better?" She whispered, still peeking only her head inside.

"What?" He sounded more awake this time.

She pushed open the door and pulled me inside the darkened room. "My Bella is here. Can we read to you?"

He switched on the lamp beside his bed and I gasped at how haggard and sad he looked. His hair was an absolute mess – even for him – and his shoulders slumped dejectedly. His eyes widened and his eyebrows arched as he took me in, but it didn't change the weariness on his face. He scooted over to his left, patting the right side of the bed for Lizzie to sit down next to him.

I don't know why, but I suddenly wanted to cry and it wasn't entirely bad. I choked back the lump in my throat and walked over closer, attempting not to let him see that I was scrutinizing his face for damages. Aside from a couple of scrapes and scratches, he appeared unscathed. My heart jumped as I realized that Emmet might have been making it sound worse than it was; either to boost his ego or get Edward some extra sympathy.

Elizabeth pulled me around to the empty side of the bed before running around behind me and pushing my butt towards Edward. "Sit!" She ordered when I wasn't moving fast enough.

I smiled timidly at Edward and climbed on top of the covers on the empty side of the bed. I thought I saw him wince, but I couldn't be sure. Lizzie climbed over me, pulling my arm out towards Edward so that she could curl into my side between us.

She handed the book to me, pulling open the front cover and staring up at me expectantly. "Ponce upon a time…" She coaxed.

I smiled down at her before I started reading. "For many years, England had a wise and good king. The people were happy under his rule. But by and by the good king fell ill. Soon the greedy captain of the guard, Captain Pete, saw his chance to rob and terrorize the people." I quirked a sideways glance at him and he smiled, shaking his head at the irony that the Prince and the Pauper represented to two people pretending to be someone they are not.

Lizzie and I found a comfortable pace, reading the lines and looking at the pictures before she would turn the page for me to repeat the process. Meanwhile, Edward leaned back against the headboard, his eyes closed, a gentle smile tugging at his lips.

About half way through the story, Esme knocked before popping her head inside the room. "Come on, Elizabeth. We're going to go out and get some dinner." She looked over at me with a knowing grin on her face. "Would you two like to come along?"

I looked over at Edward, who was grimacing as he sat up. "I'm not sure if I'm up to it." He turned to me shyly. "Unless, you want to go?"

"Thank you, Esme, but maybe next time."

She nodded politely, reaching out, gesturing for Elizabeth to come to her. Instead, Elizabeth wrapped her arms and legs around me. "I want to stay with My Bella!" She whined, sounding her age for once.

"But we're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese! You can play on the playground. We'll be there for _hours._" She smiled at me, letting me know that we had all the time in the world to work things out.

Elizabeth shook her head, pouting against my chest.

"That sounds like so much fun! Why don't you go and play and have a good time." Edward encouraged, struggling to sound cheerful.

She shook her head no once more.

I leaned down, pulling back her curls to whisper in her ear. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. "Really?"

I nodded. "Um-hm!"

"Coming Mommy!" She shouted as she frantically climbed over my legs, hopping off the bed and running over to take her mom's hand, pulling her out the door. Esme gave me one quizzical look before pulling the door shut behind her.

I turned to find Edward giving me the same look. "What was that about?"

I shrugged. "It's a secret."

He pouted out his bottom lip thoughtfully. "I see."

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became incredibly dense and hard to breath – like an invisible fog weighing down on us with a crushing force.

"Th-th-thank you for the album. You're incredible. I mean, your photography…"I rambled nervously.

"Thanks." He mumbled, his head hanging low. "My mom helped with all the little extras." I smiled as I remember the female touch on the elf photos and suddenly, my eyes flew open and my jaw dropped as I remembered the photos in the sheets. There was nothing altogether inappropriate about them – they were tasteful and discreet – I just hated to think that someone else had seen such an intimate moment.

He turned around in the bed, grimacing as he moved, grabbing my shoulders with both hands. "No! Not those." His mouth gaped open and closed as he struggled for words. "Just the red and green. I thought I figured it out well enough to do the rest on my own. I don't want anyone else to see you like that, Bella…" He bit his lip suddenly as I realized what he meant.

_No one else but me._

Despite the tense atmosphere, anxious chills ran up and down my spine. "They are beautiful." I whispered, getting caught up in his open, honest eyes.

He brought one hand to my cheek, caressing it gently. "_You_ are beautiful."

"Why?" I asked, needing to address the problem at hand before I got too caught up in his tender touches.

He dropped his hands as if suddenly burned. "I don't know what came over me when I put on that Santa outfit for the first time. People who knew me…people who didn't even like me, walked right by without as much as acknowledging my presence. With the piercings and the bike and the black leather, most people avoid me. But suddenly, little kids were running up and wanting to hug me and sit on my lap. It was weirdly liberating. I was on some kind of high when I walked up to find you bending over in that short little skirt and, I acted before I even knew what came over me.

"You were so little and yet so fierce. You were…_amazing._ From that moment on, I craved your attention like it was some kind of drug. It was crazy – I did and said things that I wouldn't have ever said to you in a million years. But, every time you glared at me and fired back, I felt absolutely alive.

"When Em invited me to go to the diner that night, I didn't realize you'd be there or I would have been too nervous to be around you out of costume. I was too afraid you were going to absolutely loathe me and if I had to see you react that way without the security of my disguise…let's just say I wouldn't have handled that very well. You caught me completely off guard when you were nice to me. I started wondering if maybe you liked the flirting as much as I did, but you knew it wasn't the real me.

"It wasn't until you asked me where I worked that I realized you hadn't recognized me at all."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Like I said…I was already too caught up. Without realizing it, I had already become these two totally different guys to you. The Santa you loved to hate and then…_me_. I was afraid if you realized I was also the jackass, that I would lose you. I thought, if I could make it through Christmas, you would never have to know or maybe we would laugh about the whole thing years from now."

"Sitting in front of a fireplace with our children?"

"Sipping hot cocoa on a cold Christmas Eve…"

My heart stammered as I pictured it and, it scared me that it didn't seem too far fetched.

"That was why I wouldn't kiss you. I knew I couldn't do that to you unless you knew the truth. But, at the same time...I was also a little insecure. You acted differently with me when I was in costume...but, it felt like you were still drawn to me. It was harder then...harder to keep my hands off of you when I had already started such a rushed pace. I started wondering which side you liked better and...each side started getting jealous of the other. It was confusing, to say the least.

"I tried to find the perfect way to tell you. That night, when we ran around in the field, I just stared at you, trying a hundred different ways in my mind to let you know so that I could just finally kiss you…but every way I thought of telling you ended in disaster. It was all so perfect…I just couldn't ruin it."

I trailed my fingertips from his temple down to his cheek, marveling in the way he closed lavender hued lids over his vibrant green eyes, soaking in my touch.

A moment later, he opened his eyes to find a single tear trailing down my cheek. He quickly took my face in his hands, brushing the droplet away briskly with his thumb, as if it offended him. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Please, please don't cry."

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out as the floodgates opened.

"Why are _you_ sorry?" He sounded absolutely baffled.

"I kissed Cullen! I cheated on you! _With you!"_ Sobs wracked my body as I took into account how differently this could have turned out if the two men weren't one in the same. I would be the one confessing my mistakes, begging for his forgiveness.

He wrapped his arms around me, his large hand smoothing over my hair as he pulled my head towards his shoulder, rubbing his cheek sweetly up and down against mine. "Shhhhh…Bella, you never would have done it if it wasn't for the alcohol. Hell, you think I would have let our first kiss go down like that if it wasn't for the spiked nog?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed, practically crawling onto his lap until I heard him wince in pain. A second later, I was completely off the bed, staring at him wide-eyed as I remembered the beating he had taken.

"Emmet told me what happened but, you don't look nearly as bad as he did. I assumed he was just making it up."

Edward laughed. "I took on a guy twice my size and you think he made up the fact about beating me to a pulp?" He held his side as if the laughter hurt. "Wow, you really do have way too much confidence in me, you know that?" He winced as the laughter subsided. "I got in two good punches. He was just kind enough to stay away from the face, for the most part."

I climbed gingerly back onto the bed, placing my hand on his side beneath his hand, willing my touch to make the pain go away. "How bad is it?"

He shrugged.

I reached down to the hem of his shirt, carefully teasing it up over his abdomen. His eyes darkened minutely as I gestured for him to raise his arms so that I could remove the material. His eyes saddened, unsure if he wanted me to see him like this – a tumultuous mixture of love, sorrow, lust, embarrassment and shame playing across his emerald green gaze before he lifted his arms, allowing me to undress him.

I held back a gasp as my eyes wandered over his tight abs and sculpted chest to find them riddled with welts and bruises. "Why didn't you fight back, Edward? Emmet said you just lied there…" My eyes welled up once again, but I wiped the stupid girlie tears away, not wanting him to have to comfort me again.

His head dropped. "I hurt you, Bella. The way your face crumbled when you found out." His hands came up to cover his face as his shoulders sagged. "The hurt and the anger and the embarrassment. My God, it was terrible. Someone needed to kick my ass for that, and I sure as hell couldn't do it."

I wanted to hold him – to shake some sense into him – but I couldn't find a large enough spot of undamaged flesh to touch. Instead, I took his hands in mine, bringing his fingers up to my mouth and kissing each of his knuckles. "Don't you ever, ever, _ever_ do something that stupid again. Do you understand me?"

He turned his hand over to cup my cheek and rub his thumb sensuously over my parted lips. "If given the chance, I hope to do nothing but make you smile, laugh and blush for as long as possible." He smiled sadly, his brows furrowing with his concentration. "I'm kinda crazy about you…you know that?"

I kissed the pad of this thumb. "Yeah, well I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to this jackass in a Santa suit." He laughed out loud once again, sounding absolutely carefree in spite of the pain that I knew he was in as he threw his arms around me and rocked me back and forth joyously. I hugged him back tentatively, worried about causing him any more pain. "Did you have anyone take a look at you? You have some pretty bad cuts as well." I asked, peeking over his shoulder and down his broad back.

"No. They offered, but I didn't want to worry or upset them. It's not too bad."

I pulled back to glare at him. "Where's the first aid kit?"

"You don't have to do that…" he started to argue.

"I'm still a little pissed at you, so don't start with me." I lectured, pointing a finger at his face.

He bit back a smile and cocked an eyebrow at me, giving me a little peek at my favorite Santa. "Yes ma'am." He answered suggestively, climbing out of bed and taking my hand to lead me towards the bathroom.

His large palm was warm wrapped around mine, and that simple gesture made my body react in a thousand different giddy ways.

Once inside the white bathroom, he started to lean over to reach beneath the sink, but one grunt of discomfort was enough for me to halt him and order him to sit on the toilet. I bent over to peek beneath the sink for cotton swabs and peroxide, only to be surprised when his warm hand reached behind my knee and started moving northward up the inside of my thigh. My breath hitched as I spotted the familiar brown bottle and cotton balls, straightening up too quickly and hitting my head beneath the countertop. "Ugh!" I cried, rubbing the spot frantically as I stood up.

He suppressed a chuckle. "Wow, I've never had that kind of affect on a woman before." He teased, sounding quite cocky.

I stuck my tongue out at him and his eyes liquefied into molten green lava that set my body ablaze. "Face the wall so that I can check out your back."

"Um…if you insist on doing this, do you mind if we do it in my bedroom? This is a little uncomfortable." He asked shyly.

"Oh, of course." I mumbled, a chill racing up my spine as he placed his hand on the small of my back, ushering me out of the bathroom and back down the hall.

He turned on a desk lamp, aiming it at a roller chair before sitting down on it, hugging the back of the chair so that his wide shoulders were tensed – the muscles across his back pulled taut beneath the marbled skin.

I knelt behind him, noticing how low his red pajama pants clung to his backside. I set the bottle and cotton balls on the floor beside me, reaching over to grab a small trash bin to discard the soaked cotton in.

I dampened the first swab and started working on the worst of the scrapes, hissing as he arched his back away from the cool ball. I blew against the wet spot and he shivered as my eyes chased the goosebumps that spread from my eager lips across the rest of his back. "Sorry." I whispered, dabbing at the cut a couple more times before moving onto the next one, repeating the process each and every time.

I hated causing him any pain and discomfort but at the same time, seeing him, smelling him, touching him…my body was about to explode with sensory overload. With the last of the scrapes cleaned and treated with the Neosporin that I had grabbed, I allowed my fingers to softly study each black and blue welt, leaning in to whisper each pain away with a feather light kiss. He dropped his head, hugging the backrest even tighter so that his muscles rippled across his shoulder blades. I stood up, tracing my fingers over the intricate letters that formed his last name, suddenly wondering who's name it really was.

"Is Carlisle Dr. Cullen?" I asked as my fingers continued to trace the tattooed skin.

"Yes." He whispered. "It actually said Masen at first, which was my birth name. It was the first thing I did when it all happened." I bent down, looking for any signs that the previous tattoo ever existed. "When we left the bar that night, Carlisle wanted to give me something so that I would never forget that I was his son, no matter what I did. I was the one who chose to replace the Masen name. They had to make this tattoo larger and darker in order to totally conceal the first one, but it was _my_ gift to him – to let him know that he would always be a bigger, better part of my life than my birth father ever was. He sat in the chair beside me that night and got a matching tattoo."

I closed my eyes, trying to picture the prim and proper Dr. Carlisle Cullen with his last name tattooed across his shoulders in Old English Script. It was hard to imagine, but the symbolism in it was absolutely beautiful. More and more, the pieces were coming together to explain how Edward Cullen had become the extraordinary man that was sitting in front of me.

My fingertips reached up over his shoulders as I began to gently massage the knots that had developed there. I worked my way up his neck into the back of his head before sliding my hands back down across the span of his shoulders to massage his upper arms, careful to avoid any of the discolored areas that were sure to hurt him. As I moved back up towards his neck, his head lolled to the right so that he was rubbing his cheek against my fingers, his lips grazing the back of my fingertips.

He reached up, sliding his hands over mine and gently guiding them down his torso – his lips trailing over the top of my arm as I slipped further and further down towards him. With my hands splayed over his rock hard abs, he lifted his head slightly, darkened eyes peering at me from beneath his long lashes – licking his lips before he pursed them gently. I leaned in, pressing my lips softy against his, feeling his stomach tense and the muscles there tremble just as mine always had whenever we were close.

My heart thumped frantically against his muscled back as he reached behind to thread his fingers through my hair, pulling me more deeply into his kiss. Somehow, without breaking the electrical current that was building between us; he stood up and turned around, his hands winding around my waist as our kissing heated ever so slowly. He stepped towards me, subtly walking us backwards until the bed hit the back of my knees, causing them to buckle beneath me as he sensuously lowered me down.

I released my hold on him long enough to pull myself higher up onto the bed; watching – mesmerized – as his shoulders and arms tensed and flexed as he pulled himself up onto the bed over me. With his hands on either side of my head, he lowered himself to take my bottom lip between his, sucking and nibbling on it in the most unexpectedly fantastic way. My hands wandered from his washboard stomach up over his chest and shoulders, winding around his strong neck to intertwine into his thick hair as our kiss deepened once again.

He lowered his upper body onto his elbows so that I could feel a little more of the weight of his hardened body pressing deliciously into mine. I moved one leg out from underneath him, bending my knee so that I could caress the outside of his legs and hip with my inner thigh. The movement only made him want to get closer as he gripped the back of my other leg, pulling it out from underneath him and pulling it around him so that I could now feel his hardened heat between my legs.

I tensed.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked as he continued to nibble on my throat, as if even the hounds of hell couldn't convince him to stop now.

"I don't want to hurt you." I whispered, realizing that I was already clinging to him harder than I thought was right.

He pulled himself off of me, the cold of the room rushing in between us unpleasantly. "Well isn't this a switch?" He smirked, giving me another glimpse of my Santa.

"Edward, you're bruised everywhere and-"

He balanced on one hand at a time as he wrapped my arms around him, placing my palms square against his back. "Hold me." He ordered.

"But Edward-" I started to protest as he ground his hips into mine and I instinctively clutched at his back.

He lowered his head to my ear and growled "Tighter", coaxing me with another sway of his hips as my fingers dug into his back. "See…" his nose danced around the corner of my jaw, "I promise you that I am feeling _no pain_ right now."

He reached down, grabbing my other leg and pulling it around so that both of my heels were digging into his tight backside as he rocked into me again, his lips sucking and teasing at my throat as I threw my head back with pleasure. I pulled at him, pressing my breasts tight against his chest, relishing in the heat of his bare skin as it pierced my shirt.

"Say my name, Bella. I want to make sure you know who I am." He husked in my ear as his bulge assaulted my wet, heated, sensitive center.

"Yes Edward…yes…" I choked out wantonly. "_My_ Edward."

"_My Bella…"_ he growled through clenched teeth as he picked up the pace, rocking back and forth against me as my thighs tightened around him with the building pressure. I released his back, pulling his mouth to mine and drinking from him greedily as my body seized entirely, my legs squeezing around him as his body tightened between my trembling thighs. His hand brushed over my forehead as he smoothed back my hair from my sweaty face, placing tender kisses on my forehead, temples, eye lids, cheeks and nose before placing a series of chaste kisses against my lips. "_My Bella"_ he chanted over and over with each sweet, gentle kiss.

He rolled off of me, over onto his back and I rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around him as I rested my head on his chest.

"Does this mean you're still my girlfriend?" He teased.

I pretended to slap at his chest. "I'll think about it."

**_A/N: Saying "Ponce upon a time" at the beginning of stories was something I did as a toddler. My aunt still teases me about that. :o)_**

_**A/N: On the tenth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: a leather jacket for safekeeping, smutty romancing, a word that rhymes with "Milking" (I'm still waiting!), a Christmas tree and trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Approximately: 12 Pages / 6,416 Words**_

_**Chapter 11**_

"Lizzie – where are you, silly girl?" I called out, attempting in vain to keep my lightweight black dress covering my ass as I bent to look under a chair. Edward bought the dress as part of my graduation present back in June, and he always smiled with pride and lust whenever I wore it for him. The high waist and full skirt made it reminiscent of a 1950's housewife's dress, black with tiny white dots all over it. I was ecstatic when I found the perfect, black little sling back pumps to go with it. The pumps had white around the edges and finished off in a cute little bow where my toes peeked through. He never admitted to it, but I was pretty sure he had Mrs. Cleaver fantasies.

"Ho Ho Ho!" A voice crooned behind me as a gloved hand caressed up between the back of my thighs. I spun around, straight into his open arms as he hugged me, crushing me to his velvet covered chest.

"Why, hello Santa." I whispered suggestively, bound in his embrace.

"Why, hello little girl. Have you been naughty or nice this year?" His eyes sparkled.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Actually, I've gotten pretty damn good at being naughty, if you ask my boyfriend." I teased, flicking my tongue out at his earlobe, causing him to hiss as I reached around to squeeze his ass.

His hands wandered down my back to grab my ass in kind as he leaned down to kiss me, more playfully than heatedly.

We pulled away when the Cullen's Christmas tree giggled and we realized that our little show had an even littler witness. "Get out here!" He laughed as he released me and bent down to pick up his nosy little sister, tickling her all the while. "There are some good tickles here, babe! You want to get in on this?" I joined in, hitting all of her most ticklish spots until I was sure she was gonna pee herself.

I opened my arms to her and she quickly reached out, threw her chubby little limbs around my neck and waist as she pulled herself over to me. She rested her head on my chest as she hugged me, attempting to catch her ragged breath. "Thank you for saving me, My Bella." She wheezed, squeezing me tightly.

In the year since I had first met Lizzie, she had never stopped referring to me as "My Bella". It saddened me to think that there would be a time when she would outgrow it, but it also awed me a little bit to think that I would be around then – to continue to watch the vibrant, intelligent, silly little girl grow into the beautiful young woman she was bound to be. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be there for all of it – her first day of school, her first kiss, graduation, college. Eventually, she wouldn't be able to remember a time in her life when I hadn't been there for her – a big sister of sorts…_her Bella._ In the life she knew, Edward and I were a matched set – absolutely inseparable.

It was kind of an amazing thing to know that there was a living entity out there who would see the two of us as we were always meant to be – one living, breathing, loving organism.

The front door flew open as Esme rushed in, dragging the cool outdoor breeze behind her in her wake. "Hi! We're late! Bella, can you get Lizzie ready…Edward, bring in the groceries please!" She shouted as she raced straight past us and towards the master bedroom. "And Carlisle, you can play with your daughter later – we have to get ready!" She called out from behind her bedroom door.

Carlisle handed Lizzie back to me and shook his head. "How in hell does she _do_ that?" He mused out loud as he pandered off after her.

"C'mon, Lizard Breath. Let's get you all dolled up." I said as I set her on her feet.

She took off running towards her bedroom. "My name's Elizabeth!" She shouted.

"That's what I said! Lizard Breath!" I kicked off my shoes and took off running after her, swooping her up into my arms and resuming the tickle fest as I plopped her down onto her bed.

ooo (*O*) ooo

"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, boys and girls!" Edward greeted as we entered the room. The children appeared to be aged a hundred years or more with their translucent skin, balding heads and tiny bodies – either ghastly thin or painfully bloated from the different cancer treatments they were receiving. I stepped behind Edward's tall frame to hide my immediate reaction – a mix of heartache and sorrow on my face that I'm sure would not have been received well by the sickly bunch. However, when I peeked back over his shoulder, the group instantly looked different.

Joyous, toothy smiles graced each of their faces, excitement blushing their cheeks as they noticed the huge red sacks filled with presents. The glee brought the hospital room to life – the innocence and merriment of a youthful Christmas Eve filling the place once more. I no longer saw tiny little patients – I saw children of all ages rejoicing in the hope, love and whimsy that only Christmas could bring. I saw them looking at Edward, the love of my life, with the same look of wonder and love that I stared at him with every single day.

He was a joy maker. A miracle worker.

My boyfriend was a jolly, freaking old elf – even out of the Santa costume.

Once over my initial unease, I joined in the merriment, helping to pass out the gifts, singling out the children who needed more help.

Once the gifts were all handed out and Esme and I had distributed the milk and cookies, everyone settled down for the main event. Carlisle took his place at the piano, Esme seated beside him with Lizzie sitting idly on her mother's lap. Edward sat on the floor in one corner, surrounded by children on all sides – two tiny, sickly looking little ones nestled on his red velvet lap. I was sitting Indian style in the middle of the floor, a chubby looking toddler perched in the crook of my legs with two older boys – maybe eight or nine years old – cuddling beneath each arm. I hugged them, patted their arms and tickled their bald heads through the sing along, making them laugh as I pulled them from side to side to make them sway awkwardly to the music.

Eventually, the nurses came in to inform us that it was time for lights out. Everyone sighed a disappointed "Aaaawwww…" including me, Edward and his parents. That made the kids giggle. But, we stood up and helped the hospital staff get all the kids put to bed with brushed teeth, clean faces and medication swallowed. Edward and I went around, tucking each and every child in and giving them a kiss on the forehead, wishing them sweet dreams and a very Merry Christmas.

We met Carlisle and Esme back out in the waiting room, where Lizzie was slung over Carlisle's shoulder, drooling in her deep slumber. "You do this every year?" I asked, squeezing Edward's arm.

Esme nodded. "It was Edward's idea in the beginning. He was 13 when he saw that movie 'Pay It Forward' and he talked us into it."

"Not that it took much convincing." He smiled, slipping his arm out from my embrace to wrap it around my shoulders.

"We felt so good after we did it that first year, we decided to make it a tradition." Esme smiled with obvious pride for her kindhearted son.

"Of course, I was Santa the first few years." Carlisle added, rocking from side to side – a parent's natural gesture when holding a sleeping child. "But, when Edward shot up a couple of years ago and could finally fill the suit out, he took over the role."

Edward shrugged, starting to appear a little uncomfortable with all of the glowing praise.

"It's something our family has done for six years and now, it's your tradition too." Esme beamed, reaching out to grab my forearm.

I was part of her family now, and I knew she could see it – the same future I had been looking at earlier with Lizzie. A future where I was a permanent thing – every Christmas, every holiday, every milestone.

We looked into eachother's eyes and she smiled warmly, an understanding forming between us in our silence.

"We should be heading out. We need to get Liz to bed and I have to be back early tomorrow morning for a conference call." Carlisle suggested. "Do you kids want a ride home?"

Edward leaned over towards me, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Go for a ride with me?" He asked.

I smiled slyly and nodded. He never needed to ask twice.

"I think we're good, Dad. I have my bike."

"Edward, it's awfully cold outside." Carlisle reprimanded.

Edward wrapped his arm more tightly around my shoulders, as if claiming me as his girl, and smiled widely. "We've survived worse, dad. Trust me." He shot a wry glance down at me and I giggled, remembering the terrible winter weather we had survived on his bike as the winds of our attraction had first started to blow us off our feet.

Carlisle started to argue, but upon seeing the current starting to spark between the two of us, he just gave us a lopsided grin and shook his head instead. "Be safe." He instructed, his eyes making it clear that he was talking about more than the weather.

I turned my head into the Edward's lush velvet coat to hide my blush. Edward laughed bashfully and waved his parents off. "We will. _Thanks Dad."_ He added, his tone suggesting embarrassment more than appreciation.

We huddled together, against the cold, as we watched Carlisle's silver Volvo back out of the spot and pull forward toward the exit of the hospital parking lot.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, curiosity lighting up my face.

"To your place." He grinned. I gave him a questioning look. "Trust me." He gave me that panty dropping smile of his and I was done for. He pulled his leather jacket out of the side satchel and slid it over my shoulders. It was freezing cold at first from being stored on the side of the bike in the winter frost, but it warmed up slowly. I straddled the bike, as ladylike as possible given my outfit, and we took off against the snowy air.

I closed my eyes, hugging him tightly as I let the sensations carry me back over the happiest year of my life. Feeling the velvet of his suit against my inner thighs reminded me of the first time he pressed his body against mine in that small workshop in the middle of a crowded mall. Hearing the sound of my own breathing in my ears reminded me of the first time I wore his helmet – inhaling his sweet scent as it lingered there. The texture of his jacket against my bare arms reminded me of the first time he had insisted I wear it and how instantly I had felt protected and warm within it's layers – as if it were his arms wrapped around me in the world's sweetest, strongest embrace. Before I knew it, we reached the front of my house. Just like that very first time, the ride felt too short, leaving me to wish that I lived on the moon so that I could ride behind him, clinging to him just a little while longer.

"Mind if we take your truck from here?" He asked.

I furrowed my brows, wondering what he was up to, but nodded my head in agreement anyway.

He hung our helmets up on the bike handles before taking my keys from me and leading me around to the passenger side door. He reached into the dimly lit cab and shifted around for a bit before backing out for me to step in. I looked down, noticing that he had spread a blanket across the seat so that the vinyl wouldn't be too cold. I smiled up at him before sliding in, watching as he closed the solid door behind me and raced around to the driver's side.

Once he was in, I slid across the seat, snuggling beneath his arm and against his side. He placed a gentle, chaste kiss against my temple as the truck roared to life. I closed my eyes, breathing him in as he guided the truck into the dark winter night.

We rode in companionable silence until I felt the tires leave the road and the truck slow to a stop. I opened my eyes, trying to figure out where we were or why he had pulled over, but all I saw around me was encroaching forest and deep snow banks that lined the desolate highway. I pulled away slightly, looking up into his face with a question in my eyes, trying to figure out if everything was alright.

He smiled sweetly, but it was tinged with a silent sadness that hurt my heart.

"Edward, is everything okay? Why did you pull over?" My fingers stroked his cheek, trying to draw out the hurt that I saw there like a healing salve.

"You don't remember?" He arched one eyebrow, and attempted to make his smile appear lighter – taunting even.

I furrowed my brows, trying to figure out what important thing it was that I was missing.

He brought his fingers to my temples, running his thumbs over my brows to smooth the worry he saw there. "It's okay, beautiful – that night might have looked a little different to you than it did to me."

I relaxed my expression like he wanted, but there was still a tug-of-war going on in my head to identify the elusive memory he was hinting at. "You see, I had met the most amazing girl and I was trying to figure out how to make her mine, but I got it all wrong. At first, I came on too strong…I was a jackass to her and the only way I could get her attention was to continue taunting her – riling her up. The way her eyes fired up and her face flushed with her anger was like a lifeline to my lost soul, but I knew I could never really get to her that way.

"When I saw her again, I was so overwhelmed by her...by her voice and face and body and mind and heart and all of her…I simple choked up.

"I rode down this dark road alone, pondering how I could possibly reach through the obstacles I had already set for myself. In my head, I asked God to help me out…to give me one good chance to make her mine."

We were sitting sideways on the bench now, facing each other as he looked over his shoulder, pointing back towards the road that we were on. "I came around that bend right there when I saw her. God had answered my prayers the moment I asked, trapping an angel right here on earth and making it so that I was the only one around to save her. I don't know what I did to get in his good graces, but I didn't stop to ask." He turned back to look at me, his fingers sliding beneath my jaw as his thumb danced along my bottom lip.

I looked around and suddenly realized that we were in the same place where I had driven my truck into a snowbank about this time last year. I looked at him, absolutely awe-struck.

"Happy Anniversary, Bella." He leaned into me, parting his lips slightly. "There has never been a more fortunate accident." He closed the distance between us, taking my bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it gently. The force created a vacuum that pulled at my groin from the inside, making me weak in the knees.

I slid my hands around him, threading my fingers into the thick hair at the nape of his neck – massaging his scalp as I clung to him desperately, sinking deeper into his rich kisses.

The truck rumbled quietly beneath our hurried breaths as I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto my knees, leaning over him so that his back was pressed against the driver side door. I had wanted Edward so passionately…so _fervently_ since before I had even been kissed. There had been make-outs and foreplay and teasing and taunting in the year since, but he had always been reluctant to take that final step with me. Part of me wondered if he still felt less than worthy for some insane reason.

He loved me so greatly and felt so very protective of me that his greatest worry was defending me…_from himself._

What I couldn't seem to get across to him was that the only thing that was hurting was my insatiable need for him. It was a hunger and thirst of the very worst kind. I was suffocating and he was keeping me alive, barely one breath at a time, depriving me of the lungful of oxygen I so desperately needed.

I slid my hands up and down his over sized red and white jacket, and he quickly helped me unbutton and remove it, letting it fall to the floor of the truck. He stretched his legs out along the seat beneath me and I straddled them, climbing up so that I could sit astride his hips. I tugged the white undershirt up and out from his pants and he reached down, fisting the hem of the shirt and easily slipping it up and over his head, letting it join the velvet coat on the floor of the truck.

His hands rested on the outside of my thighs, teasing up under my full skirt to massage my hips.

I slipped his jacket off of my shoulders, instantly missing it's warmth but needing too desperately to feel Edward's body against mine. Released from the warm leather, I sat forward, grinding my hips against his as I pressed my body against his naked chest, my mouth crashing against his as a wanton moan escaped my throat.

"Bella, baby, slow down. This isn't how I meant for this to go." His hands were no longer pleasantly teasing at my hips. Instead, he was now gripping my shoulders, slightly pressuring me to back off.

"No!" I whimpered, struggling to pull myself back to him.

"Bella, we need to talk." He pushed against me more surely, trying to put some distance between us.

"Don't you want me?" I whined, all of my vulnerability and insecurities tumbling out.

"You silly girl, of course I want you." He teased.

I climbed off of him, sitting on the passenger side of the cab as far away from him as I could, struggling with the incapacitating hurt that overwhelmed me each and every time he pushed me away. "Just obviously not as badly as I want you." I pouted sullenly, tears stabbing at my eyes.

He growled and launched himself across the cab, his fingers lacing into my hair as he entered my mouth, devouring my tongue ravenously. He grabbed my hand and pulled it down between his legs where I could feel his erection straining against the red velvet pants. He hummed with the contact, thrusting against my limp hand as I struggled to understand what was going on. He nibbled on my jaw and licked down my throat, grinding into my palm once more until I finally registered what was happening and closed my fingers around his length as best as the material would allow.

With that, he growled and pulled away, sliding all the way over to the driver's side, gasping for air. He folded his arms over the steering wheel and laid his head against it, looking positively defeated. I folded my arms around myself, shivering from the intruding cold that was winding its way between us, panting as I attempted to understand what was happening.

He mumbled something against his arms. I wasn't sure if it was because I was so caught up in my own thoughts or if it was because he didn't speak clearly, but I didn't understand him.

"What?" I whispered, almost sure I didn't want to hear it.

He sat up straight, looking out ahead at the black, frozen night. "I've been accepted to a one year photography internship." Is this what was on his mind?

That was terrific. He'd wanted to pursue photography for years but had been unable to find a respectable program that he could afford. An internship wouldn't cost him a damn thing.

_So why doesn't he look happy about it?_

I scooted over, tentatively rubbing up and down his bare arm, noticing that he was already getting cold from the drafty cab of the truck. "That's a good thing, right?"

He lowered his head for a moment, drawing in a deep breath before he turned to face me. "It's in Paris, Bella."

It was difficult to breathe given the sudden lump that was blocking my airway. "France?" I gasped.

He nodded, wiping away a single tear that I hadn't realized had fallen.

This was what he had always been afraid of. Hurting me. Disappointing me. Not being there by my side.

The back of his finger caressed from my temple and down my jaw soothingly. "Don't worry, baby. I told them I needed to think about it but…seeing you like this…trying to imagine what it would be like without you…I can't do it. I can't do it to either of us. I'm turning them down." His jaw set in that sexy way it has once he's made up his mind, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it.

I gripped his face in my hand and forced him to look me in the eye. "You're going." I said, giving him a look that let him know there was no room for discussion.

"I asked Carlisle for a second chance, and he made me his son. I asked God for a second chance, and he gave me you. I asked you for a second chance, and you forgave me and made me a better man. I'm not turning my back on that, Bella." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else.

"Carlisle made you his son before you ever needed to ask. God gave me a second chance, not you. And I never had to forgive you…I had to forgive myself for not being able to see what was right in front of my face. Your dream is being handed to you on a silver platter. Paris! Do you know how prestigious that is? _This_ is your second chance – don't you dare waste it on false obligations to Carlisle and me and God. You're scared, and that's understandable – but don't you dare make excuses."

He turned sideways in the seat, taking my hands in his. "I'm not going. I won't ruin what we have. I won't miss Lizzie starting preschool and making new friends – she needs her brother for that. I won't miss playing Santa to a room full of sick kids at Christmas time." He bowed his head again and mumbled, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you."

I pulled my hands from his and shoved against his shoulders. "Like hell you shouldn't have told me! Get off your high horse, Edward! I am not a little girl who needs protecting!" I slid back from him, unjustified anger building within me. "You're scared, Edward. You are the most frightened little boy I have ever met. You were frightened of being like your father and frightened of not being good enough for Carlisle. You were frightened that Lizzie would replace you and frightened to tell me the truth. You're frightened to freaking _love_ me like I want to be loved because of some insecurity that you're going to hurt me and now, you're talking about turning your back on the chance of a lifetime because your frightened of change and your frightened of failure. I can't do it anymore!" I threw my hands up in the air dramatically. "I've been your security blanket and cheerleader long enough, but I refuse to be your excuse. Did it ever occur to you that one of the things I love about you is that you have dreams and goals and ambitions? If you don't do this…if you walk away from this opportunity because you're scared…then you're not the guy I thought I was in love with."

I jumped out of the truck, shivering when the frigid air swooped up beneath my dress as I raced around to the driver's side door. I pulled the heavy, solid thing open, instructing him to move over as I flung his shirt and jacket at him before climbing into the driver's seat. He stared at me, absolutely dumbfounded – his eyes red and swollen with the tears that he refused to let fall.

I fumed behind the steering wheel as I put the truck into gear and pulled back onto the road – struggling to maintain the anger so that the tears wouldn't come. If I slipped now – if I let the pain and heartache and worry through – my little show would be for nothing. He would never leave me if he knew how terribly I wanted him to stay.

Silently, he pulled his shirt on over his head and slipped his leather jacket on, leaving the fluffy red coat on the seat.

Once upon a time, that red coat had been his disguise…he had shed it for me. Now it was time for him to shed me and move on to bigger, better things.

I knew what would happen. He would fall in love with the sights and sounds of Paris – the sensual, beautiful women there. He would become enraptured with the exciting night life and lose himself to the fancy world of photography and models. My Edward would never come back to me if he left.

On the other hand, if he stayed, he would only grow to resent me over time. We might get married and have kids…but as we got older and our simple life grew mundane, he would start playing the "what if" game, and I would be the one responsible for not having pushed him.

I was tearing myself in two and it literally made my insides hurt. Worst of all, I was going to lose him without ever having known what it would be like to love him the way I wanted to. To love _all_ of him and give him all of me in return. It was a loss that cut straight through my heart, but if I had any chance of going through with this – of doing what would be best for him in the long run – I had to make it a clean break.

We rolled up to the house and I cut the engine, sitting in the uncomfortable silence for a moment as I struggled to find the words I had no desire to say. "Go to Paris or stay here, stuck in your miserable job and wonder what might have been if you had gone. I don't really care because I meant it when I said I was done. I remove myself from your care. I am no longer your burden or your responsibility. Do what you will, but leave me out of it." I turned the key, letting the truck rumble to a quiet silence.

He sat stoically, his face turning toward me slowly as I saw the tears brim over and streak down his handsome face. The knife in my heart twisted and I wanted to run from it – to cross the cab and jump in his arms and tell him that I was sorry and I didn't mean it. Instead, I stared out the windshield, turning away from him as I gripped the steering wheel so tightly with both hands that my knuckles were turning white.

"I know what you're trying to do, Bella. Do you honestly think lying to me and hurting me is going to scare me into going?" He chuckled darkly, without humor. "If you do this, it will only make me want to stay behind and fight for you. If that's your motivation, it's wasted, you know that, right?"

I took a deep breath, searching for the words I could say to release him and set him free into the world where his genius and heart and talent deserved to be. Once I steadied myself, I turned back to him. "You know I love your vulnerability, Edward…but sometimes, I just want _a real man._ I have needs too, and for a year, you've been too afraid to meet those needs. I'm done being patient. At this point, we're holding each other back. I'm holding you back from a promising future in photography and you're holding me back from experiencing all that life has to offer – from enjoying the pleasures of being a woman in love. It's not fair to either of us."

It was hurtful and unfair, but he would never go if he felt that he could do right by me.

I watched as he crumbled in front of me, reaching out towards me without ever touching.

"Ride safely back home, Edward, and I wish you the very best no matter what you choose to do." I wanted to lean over and kiss his tears away, but that would be counterproductive – not to mention that the damn that was holding my own tears at bay was perilously close to breaking down.

I stepped out of the truck and attempted to slowly and confidently walk into the house as the tears came quickly, fighting back the body-wracking sobs until I was safely behind my front door. I raced up the stairs, needing the sanctuary of my room as I slammed the door behind me, wondering how this night had gone so very, very wrong. I sat on my window seat, looking out at the dark night below, and cried as my heart slowly went dark, cold and dead.

I watched my front yard for an hour and half until Edward finally emerged from my cold truck, dressed in red from head to toe. I watched still as my handsome, sweet, romantic, affectionate, funny, passionate Santa climbed onto his motorcycle and rode off into the night, presumably for the very last time.

I fell asleep on my window seat before my tears ran dry.

My dreams were dark and depressing that night, the repercussions of what I'd done haunting me even in my fitful sleep.

Home movies that were yet to be made played in my mind's eye: watching Elizabeth strew rose petals down a white runner as I waited for my father to walk with me down the church aisle to the place where Edward stared at me with the most brilliant, loving smile I had ever seen. Carlisle pulling out a handkerchief for Esme in the first pew of the church as happy tears streaked down her beaming face. Picnics that had yet to happen where Edward and I swam with an older Lizzie. My body, swollen with his child as we sang Christmas Carols with tiny, happy patients.

The film reel skipped - the sound dragging and becoming horrifically distorted as the picture went up in flames. The fire was cold, causing me to shiver and fold in on myself as the icy plumes licked at my heart and soul, freezing me from the inside out.

The ashes of my life billowed into the sky, falling down around me like a blizzard of destruction and despair. I trudged through the ashy piles, my arms huddled around myself against the biting cold until I found myself approaching the front of the Cullen's beautiful home. I smiled, eager to be inside with the family that I loved…_my _family…knowing that they would calm my fears and warm me up.

But the door was locked.

I peeked in through the front window to find them all sitting in the living room, laughing merrily. Edward was older, looking quite distinguished. He had shed the black leather mask of his youthful rebellion and was now dressed sharply in pressed black slacks and a crisp, white button up. He sat on the arm of the sofa beside an elegant woman – thinner than me and far shapelier. Her jet black hair tumbled down her back in waves and she wore a form-fitting black dress – couture, undoubtedly. Long, blood red fingernails teased up and down his back as she crossed one long leg over the other, her spiked stiletto bouncing anxiously.

Elizabeth…_my_ Lizzie…came running in, throwing her arms around the woman, who hugged her only in placation. "Can we open the gifts now?" She asked. The woman looked at Edward in confusion and Edward translated…_in French._

Her red lips leered at the little girl as she rolled her eyes, but the family missed all of this, so caught up in their blissful happiness that they were missing all the little signs that she was wrong for them. _Terribly, terribly wrong._ She twisted her painful grimace into a smile at the last moment and patted Elizabeth on the head in a belittling way. Lizzie ran toward the tree, plucking an ornament off and handing it to Edward, who's beautiful, lean hand was extended expectantly.

The woman took the ornament from him and looked down, bringing a hand to her mouth in mock surprise. Edward slipped off the arm of the couch and knelt before her, pulling a small box from his pocket as she clapped gleefully.

"NO!" The word bubbled up from the tips of my toes, building strength and momentum as it tumbled through my stomach, rumbled through my diaphragm and tore out of my throat. My back arched off of the bed as I leaned into the word, trying to become the argument that would keep him from that future.

In the four disrupted hours I slept, my stock of tears had been replenished, overflowing and racing down my cheeks to collect on the collar of my dress.

I longed for an escape, but there was none. My first semester of college was done – finals and essays and projects finished until after the New Year. Jake needed the money more than I did because he was saving up to buy Vanessa an engagement ring, so I agreed to let him have all of my shifts at the mall the week before Christmas. Charlie was busy at work, so it was just me…home alone with nothing but my thoughts and my heartache.

_And the texts._

"Missing you." Was the first one. I typed out a full response before I found the strength to delete it.

A few hours later, the tears had finally dried up – my chest sore from the continuous sobbing. "You don't have to do this. We can make it work." I could feel his heartache through his words…I was tearing him apart…but it was perhaps the most important thing I would ever do for him. I turned my phone off and padded down the stairs, plopped on the couch and watched a Christmas movie marathon.

I cried when Scrooge picked up Tiny Tim at the end of A Christmas Carol.

I cried when George Bailey recited "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets it's wings."

I even cried when Ralphie climbed back up the slide to beg for an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle.

Eventually, I flicked off the tv and wandered into the kitchen, knowing that I should eat something, but unable to think of anything that didn't make my stomach revolt.

I downed a glass of orange juice, hoping that had enough vitamins and nutrients to keep me going and snatched a zone bar to carry upstairs with me, just in case there came a point in time when I thought I could keep it down.

I pulled out my very worn copy of Jane Eyre and settled into bed to read, but I found myself reading the same paragraph over and over, unable to absorb the words. Something kept pulling my attention. A tiny, black device that laid face down on my desk. I read the paragraph out loud, with gusto…buy my eyes ended up wandering back over to the silent little device.

Accepting that it was hopeless, I threw the book down onto my bed and lunged for my desk like a man in the desert would lunge for an icy cold bottle of water.

With the device in hand, I flipped it over and held the button down, my heart lurching when the familiar chime rang, alerting me that my cell phone was booting up. I carried it back over to my bed, climbing beneath the sheets as I waited for all of the programs to load.

When my phone started chirping with text messages, my heart was torn with giddy excitement that he wasn't giving up on me and disappointment that I was still holding him back, no matter how very hard I tried.

I read through the messages slowly, lingering on every word. There were poems and lyrics, jokes and teasing, random thoughts that he might have shared with me on any other day. The last text message was a simple question.

"Do you still love me?"

His question sat in my silent phone for two hours while I had moped around downstairs. I debated what might be more hurtful to him. Lying? Ignoring his question completely? Or simply telling him the truth?

I was trying to be strong for him…to push him away for his own good. But the one thing I couldn't do was deny the way I felt about him. To do anything less than acknowledge the truth felt sacrilegious.

"Always." I wrote back, hoping that my message was simple enough to squelch his fears while not giving him any hope.

"That's all I needed to know." He responded.

I fell asleep, clinging to my phone like it was the only lifeline to my sanity.

_**A/N: On the eleventh day of Christmas my readers gave to me: a break from all this typing, a leather jacket for safekeeping, smutty romancing, a word that rhymes with "Milking" (nothing? Seriously?), a Christmas tree and trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Approximately: 20 Pages / 9,824 Words**_

_**Chapter 12**_

The next morning, the gifts started.

Rosalie knocked on my door around lunch time. We had hung out a couple of times during her on-again/off-again relationship with Emmet, but it still surprised me when she showed up at my front door carrying a take out bag from the diner.

"Uh, hey Rose. Everything okay?" I asked, suddenly very aware that I looked like shit. I was in tattered sweats, I hadn't bothered brushing my hair and I was struggling to remember if I had ever brushed my teeth this morning.

"Yeah, except that Edward's a mess and, from the looks of it, you're not doing too much better."

_What the hell? How does she even know about that, and why in the world would she come here to talk to me about it?_

"Hungry? I brought you some lunch." She offered.

I shuffled back from the door to allow her entrance, covering my mouth with my hand so I wouldn't breathe on her.

I showed her into the kitchen where she set the bag down on the table and started to unload its contents. I asked her to excuse me for a moment as I raced to the bathroom and gargled with Listerine while I tore a brush through my hair.

When I got back to the kitchen, she was already seated and digging into her meal with the plastic ware she brought.

Apparently, she was staying for lunch.

I slid awkwardly into the seat across from her. "So…um…what made you decide to stop by today?"

She wiped her mouth daintily with a napkin and motioned to my food. "Edward was worried about you. Said he had a feeling you weren't taking care of yourself which, from the looks of it, seems to be true – if you don't mind my saying so. He would have brought the food himself, but he didn't think that would work out well, so he asked if I would mind delivering it and staying long enough to make sure you eat." With her explanation out of the way, she dipped her fork back into the coleslaw and took another bite.

I opened the Styrofoam box to find she had brought me a house salad with ranch dressing. Off to the side, I noticed a napkin rolled around something small with my name on it. She smiled when she saw what I was looking at and slipped it across the table toward me, her eyes crinkling in mirth. "Go ahead, open it."

I unrolled the thing to find that inside the napkin was one single French fry.

_It was a French fry with my name on it – just like we had joked about the very first time I met him at the diner._

"You'll be happy to know he stole one of your croutons too." She beamed, stuffing another forkful of coleslaw into her mouth.

I lowered my head, trying to hide the smile that shouldn't be there.

_He was going to make this harder than I thought._

ooo (*O*) ooo

December 21st found Jasper on my doorstep with a huge smile on his face– wrapped in a strand of Christmas lights much like he had done last Christmas to get Alice's attention. He had shot up a good six inches since the first time I met him, and his shoulders were starting to fill out, which made the stunt all the funnier. In one hand, he held two packages of cocoa mix and in his right, a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

_Hot chocolate and soup, just like I prepared for him the first time he brought me home._

"He said it's not as good as yours, but that you would get the point." He drawled.

I dropped my head, shaking it back and forth in disbelief as I giggled in spite of myself. I stepped back for Jasper to enter and he did a small, penguin-like shuffle into the warmth of the house. I had to step onto the bottom stair tread in order to reach high enough to untangle the poor man.

"I can't believe you let him do this to you again." I mumbled, fighting back the smile from my face.

Jasper shrugged. "Well, he did it for me once and look at how well that turned out. I owed him one."

"So I take it things are still wonderful for you and Alice?" Having successfully loosened the worse of the knots, the light cord simply slipped right off, pooling around his feet.

He radiated love and adoration as he thought of his girlfriend. "Yeah. I messed up over the summer. We got too caught up in Em and Rosie's problems and ended up taking sides. It was a terrible summer break, but we worked it out." He answered bashfully.

I bent down to collect the light strands as he stepped out of the bundle, then stood up to gather the cocoa and soup from him. "So, you hungry?" I shrugged, motioning to the ingredients.

"Actually, I promised Edward I would stay until you ate that. Otherwise, he threatened to tie me up in another strand of lights so that I'd never get out." We laughed together.

ooo (*O*) ooo

I was surprised when I got a frantic call from Esme on the 22nd of December. "Bella, I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I'm running late for an appointment, Edward is at work and Carlisle just got called in. Do you think you could watch Elizabeth for about an hour?" The way she said it made me wonder if she even knew anything had happened between Edward and I – but I didn't want to choose that moment to tell her. Besides, if I could keep a relationship with his family, even with Edward overseas, that would be more than I could possibly hope for. Maybe I'd get to see my Lizzie grow up after all.

"No problem, Esme. Do you mind bringing her over to my house so that I can watch her here?" I asked, still a little nervous about being in their home.

"Of course – we're already on the road. We can be there in about five minutes – is that alright with you?"

"Sure." I replied, looking frantically around my room for something decent to wear.

"Thank you so very much, sweetie. Sorry this is last minute, but I always knew I could count on you." She said, carefully enunciating each and every word.

"Always, Esme. Always." The words hurt coming out, scratching my throat along the way as it carried more meaning than she seemed to know.

I managed to pull myself together in time to open the door the minute she pulled up outside.

Elizabeth bolted from the car, running up to me with her arms outstretched. "My Bella!" She called, her voice bouncing as she ran. I bent down and swooped the little bundle of warmth and love up into a huge bear hug, burying my face in her curls.

"Hi my Lizzie." She pulled back and smiled at me. "You called me your Lizzie!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Cuz you are, right? Will you always be my little Lizzie?" I asked, choking back the emotion. Her tiny hands came up to my cheeks as she leaned forward to peck me on the lips.

"Always and forever, my Bella." I squeezed her again, trying to hold it together before Esme got close enough to notice.

Esme left the car running as she raced over with Lizzie's tiny Disney Princess bag. She loped gracefully up the steps before sliding the bag onto my shoulder, kissing me on the cheek, kissing Lizzie and running back to the car with a wave. "Thank you so much! I love you, Bella!" She shouted over her shoulder as she jumped into the driver's side and took off.

I wondered if she realized that was the first time she ever said that.

I put Elizabeth down on her feet and held her hand as we walked into the house. It was only then that I noticed the Styrofoam cup she was carrying. "Whatchya got there?"

She looked down at the cup as if she had forgotten it was there and then held it up to me. "This is for you. Eddie said you'll like it."

That was the first inkling I had that this was a set-up. "Really? What is it?" I asked her, taking the cup from her hand skeptically.

She shrugged her tiny shoulders and giggled. She laughed again as I sniffed at the straw before drawing in a deep drink through it.

_Strawberries and cream._ Just like the first shake we ever shared, because it smelled like and tasted like me. I pulled back, closed my eyes and smiled as I remembered the odd things that happened to my body by simply being in his presence. A year later and none of it had changed. Elizabeth clapped giddily as she watched me relish the milk shake. "Open your present! Open your present!" She chanted.

"What present?"

She reached her hands up to the bag that was on my shoulder, bending her fingers in and out in a "give me" gesture. I lowered the bag to the ground at her feet and watched as she unzipped it, pulling out a tiny package wrapped in silver paper with white snowflakes printed all over it.

She held the gift up to me, as if it were a sacrifice to a deity. "What did you get me, you silly girl?" I asked as I slipped my finger under the first edge.

"Not me. Eddie." She corrected, wrapping herself around one of my legs. "Eddie loves you like I do, my Bella." The lump formed in my throat before I could swallow it down. "Open! Open! Open!" She coaxed, stepping away from my leg to watch with anticipation.

Inside was a small gilt frame with a portrait of Elizabeth – a Santa hat upon her cherubic little face as she sat amidst a strand of Christmas lights designed to look like presents. It was a smaller version of the portrait I had fallen in love with at the store where he worked. On the bottom of the frame was a small plaque that read "For My Bella".

I dropped to my knees, hugging the little girl as tightly as was possible, unable to contain my tears any longer. She pulled away, using her tiny fingers to wipe the tears away with a pout on her face. "What's the matter? Why are you crying? Don't you like it?"

"I love it." I smiled, trying to reassure her. "These are happy tears. I just love you so much, there's no more room inside of me, so it's pouring out in tears." I explained.

She leaned forward and placed gentle kisses on my eyelids before looking back to see if there was a difference. "All better?" She asked, sounding hopeful.

"All better." I assured her.

I played with Elizabeth for the next hour until Esme showed up at my door, looking mischievous. "Did you make it to your appointment on time?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"From the looks of it," she smiled down at the fact that I was holding Lizzie's hand, "I would say I was right on time. Did you have fun?"

The question sounded like it was aimed at Lizzie, but Esme's eyes never left mine. "Yes Mommy. She loved her presents. She cried happy tears because she had too much love – right my Bella?"

I blushed slightly and nodded.

Esme caressed my cheek. "Will you be over for Christmas, sweetie? It wouldn't be the same without you and…we'd _all_ be heartbroken. Of course, we'd love to have your father too."

I lowered my head, finding it nearly impossible to turn her down. "I'm…I'm…" I struggled to tell her that I didn't think that was for the best, but the words simply wouldn't come out. "I think that my father has already made other arrangements for us, but thank you for the invitation. And, thank you for letting me spend some time with Elizabeth."

Esme's face crumbled and I had to look away before I caved in. Didn't she understand I was trying to do right by her son? That I was trying to do what was best for him? Didn't she grasp how hard it was for me to turn my back on him, much less to walk away from an entire family that I had already come to think of as my own?

Lizzie yanked on my arm, gesturing for me to bend down so that she could give me a soul crushing hug and kiss goodbye before jumping into her mother's arms. When I looked up, Esme's eyes were glassy pools.

"I love him, you know? That's why I'm doing this."

"I know sweetie…_I know._ People often do bad things with the very best of intentions, don't they?" She smiled sadly at me before steadying Lizzie on her hip and slinking off to the car, leaving me dazed and confused on the front steps.

Was I doing a bad thing? Sure, it was killing me to do it and, I could only imagine that Edward was struggling a little bit…now I've just seen the impact it was having on Esme and Elizabeth. Even if it was bad, was it wrong?

The foundations for my arguments were starting to get a little shaky.

ooo (*O*) ooo

December 23rd found a gift wrapped box waiting solemnly on my door step without the usual elf to help plead his case. I picked the box up, surprised by how light it was, considering its size. I carried it into the living room, placing it on the coffee table in front of the warm fire I had going. I stared at it momentarily, considering if I shouldn't just put it back outside and refuse it. Wasn't accepting these gifts only going to make things harder for the both of us?

I needed to make a clean break if this was going to work, and there was nothing clean about what was happening – the way he was penetrating every nook and cranny of my life and refusing to wash me clean from his.

I stared at the package for a couple of minutes before I realized that it was useless. I would go mad with curiosity if I didn't open the damned thing. With no one else in sight, I ripped the paper off viciously, revealing a plastic tote filled with mistletoe, similar to the box we had once stood under in the supply closet. A simple, handwritten note was taped to the top. "My greatest regret is not kissing you sooner. My second regret is letting you walk away from me. There are still many more kisses left to be had, Isabella. Let's not waste time making more regrets."

_But that's what I'm doing you stubborn, infuriating man! If you stay here because of me, you'll regret it, and I refuse to be something you regret!_

I threw the box across the room, watching it tumble into the corner near the fireplace. Why must everyone keep making it so difficult for me to walk away when I am only trying to do what is best for him?

_And when would these blasted tears finally run dry?_

ooo (*O*) ooo

On the fifth day, I received a tiny first aid kit reminiscent of the one he used to clean up my scraped legs the day I literally fell head over heels for him. Attached to the handle was another note: "I know you're hurting. I know you're in pain because I feel it too. Please, can't I just come over and make it better?"

I sent my reply immediately by text message so that he wouldn't spend his entire Christmas Eve waiting.

All I wrote was a simple "No."

ooo (*O*) ooo

The only reason I knew it was Christmas day was because I came downstairs to find Charlie sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Otherwise, there were no stockings hung by the chimney with care – nothing red and green or white and lacy strewn about the house to remind me of the Christmas spirit.

Since Charlie had lived as a bachelor for years, it never really occurred to him to decorate for the holidays, so it had become my thing ever since I moved here. But weighed down by a broken heart, I simply hadn't been able to find it in me to celebrate.

Charlie knew something was wrong – although I hadn't talked to him about it, I knew he must have noticed Edward's absence around the house and my increasing melancholy - but girlie emotions were simply outside of his comfort zone. Therefore, he ignored it as much as I would let him.

Instead, he did the only thing he could think of – he planned a non-stop Christmas day that he was sure would distract me. We left around ten in the morning and spent the rest of the day traveling from house to house. We ate breakfast with Deputy Ben, his wife Angela and their three kids. Lunch was spent with the retired Police Chief, Harry Clearwater, and his wife and kids. We went over to Jacob's house for a while and played Dance Party on the new Wii that Vanessa bought him for Christmas. It was around that point in time that my dad's attempt to distract me fell to pieces as Jacob pulled me aside to show me the diamond solitaire he had finally managed to save up for. Things went even more downhill as we headed to the diner for Christmas dinner. Not only was the diner a sad placed filled with lonely people with nowhere else to go on Christmas day, but it was the same place I had first eaten with Edward…the same place we had come to on many late nights when we simply weren't ready to go home.

My father ordered for me, but I simply pushed the plate aside, unable to fake an appetite.

The ride home was long, cold and silent as I stared out the window at the dark trees that raced by. The only thing that snapped me from my sorrowful distractions was the bright lights that illuminated the forest across from my house. I turned around, peeking past my dad to see that our house was covered from top to bottom with brilliant, multicolored lights that set the entire block awash in color.

I jumped out of the passenger side before the truck had come to a complete stop, racing around the vehicle to stare at the beauty of my home without any obstructions. Suddenly, music came from speakers that were hidden somewhere in nearby shrubbery.

_I really can't stay-  
-Baby, it's cold outside.  
I have to go away-  
-But baby, it's cold outside…_

_Edward._

I spun around, knowing that he was near…feeling him pulling me. Just then, I spotted him stepping out from the shadows of the trees on the side of my house, staying just within their boundaries. My heart swelled so full at the sight of him that it felt as if my chest might crack open.

The corners of my mouth pulled up in spite of myself as his did the same, never fully breaking into what could be called a smile – but the hint of delight still plain on our faces. "Merry Christmas." He mouthed to me across the divide.

"Merry Christmas." I mouthed back, frozen to the spot. We stared at each other for a long moment before his face saddened and he stepped back into the shadows, disappearing from my sight.

I didn't know if he was ever going to stop trying.

And I no longer knew if I really wanted him to.

ooo (*O*) ooo

On the 26th, I woke up to find that snow chains had been put on my truck and a family of snowmen had taken residence in my front yard – complete with a little dog named _Mittens._

The 27th brought with it a surprise visit from Emmet, carrying a jug of eggnog, which he assured me had no nutmeg in it. We talked for a while, catching up on the things that we'd missed since the last time we hung out.

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Em?" I asked, my hands folded around the mug of eggnog I had been sipping.

"Shoot."

"Why do you and Rosalie keep breaking up? Or, more importantly…why do you keep getting back together?" I stared down at my mug, peeking up at him through my lashes, hoping that the question wouldn't offend him.

His brows knitted together, but he seemed to get why it was important to me. It surprised me when he laughed. "Because she's stubborn and independent." He smiled so brightly that his dimples were massive craters in his cheeks. "And I'm stubborn and needy." He brought his mug up to his mouth, sipping at the creamy concoction before licking the white stuff from his upper lip. "I've known from the first moment I saw her that I was gonna marry that girl someday. On the other hand, she comes from divorced parents and from living with a mother who's married and remarried so many times that she's lost count. She's afraid to be dependent on someone…to care about them and rely on them to care about her the same way. Then she gets me coming along with my confidence that this is a forever thing, and its scares the hell out of her."

"If she feels that way…aren't you afraid she'll never come around to see things the same way that you do? I mean, why do you keep going back to her if she keeps pulling away from you?" I realized that I was staring at him very intensely, so I pulled back bashfully. "I'm sorry, I don't mean…"

"It's okay. I get it." He smiled, patting my hand across the table before pulling his hand back to lift his mug to his mouth once again. "She's the one, Bella. That's all there is for me. Maybe there won't be a wedding and kids…but I'll have to settle for whatever it is she's willing to give me because there's nothing left of me to give to anyone else." He stared at me a long moment, watching as I let his words sink in. "It's the same for him, you know? He's never going to give up."

My eyes darted up to meet his, surprised that he was able to see so clearly into the heart of the matter. "I get what you're trying to do…so does he. But it's not going to work. If you really want him to follow his dreams, you're going to have to go about it a different way. Doing it without you is simply not an option for him."

ooo (*O*) ooo

On the tenth day, it was my turn to deliver a gift. In the pitch black of pre-dawn, I raced up to the front of the house, slipped the envelope into the mailbox and jumped back into my truck, speeding off down the lane before the rumble of my engine had time to wake him up.

It was a brochure of Paris – the sights, sounds, tastes and attractions that made the city great. I kept my note simple: "If you really want me back, you have to find a way to make this work. I'm so sorry for the hurtful things I said. You have to know I didn't mean them; I was just trying to let you go so that you wouldn't skip out on your dreams to be with me. There are only two things that I said that hold true: I love you always, but I will not be your excuse to be anything less than extraordinary."

I received his text message before I even made it home. "I'm working on it. Miss you."

"Miss you more." I texted back. "Still love me?"

"Always."

ooo (*O*) ooo

On December 30th, it was tiny Alice who knocked on my door. Although we kept in touch regularly through phone calls, text messages and Facebook, I hadn't actually seen her in over a month. She nearly knocked me over as she pounced on me the moment I opened the door. "I'm so excited!" She clamored around me, carrying a large gift box.

"What's that?" I asked, closing the door behind her as she made herself at home in the living room.

"It's my gift to you." She smiled widely before her grin faltered. "Okay, fine, Edward told me to do it and he paid for it and stuff, but I _totally_ picked it out!"

She plucked a card from the top of the box and thrust it into my hands. "I've been dying to know what that says, would you please open it?"

The little fireball cracked me up some times. "It's an invitation to a New Year's Eve party at the Cullen's house."

"Oh! That explains it then!" She bounced up and down on the couch, quickly sliding her legs beneath her so that she was perched on her knees, sliding the large box over to me. "That's what this is for!"

I recognized the silver paper with the snowflakes – it was the same kind he had used on one of my other gifts. I slipped my finger beneath one of the seams, carefully prying it apart as was my custom, but Alice was having none of that.

"Dear God, Bella! The party's tomorrow, not _next_ New Year's Eve!" She yelled maniacally as she clawed at the paper, leaving shreds of it behind in her wake.

With the wrapping paper absolutely demolished, I lifted the lid from the box and peered inside to find a glittering silver dress. I lifted it up to see that it was a simple, backless, form fitting piece that would go down to about mid-thigh. Also in the box was a pair of silver peep-toe heels that I instantly knew were designed to elongate the leg and improve a woman's posture, ensuring that I would be subtly thrusting out my ass and boobs the entire time I wore them.

"What in the world were you thinking, Alice?" I asked, shocked that she would pick something like this for me. I hadn't worn something this risqué since last year's elf costume.

"I was _thinking_ that I really, really want to wear this for Jasper, but my parents would kill me, so I'm giving it to my older friend because she can get away with wearing it without getting grounded." She put her hands on her knees, pouting dramatically at me. "Please, Bella! You are going to look so fucking hot, Edward won't be able to keep his hands off of you!"

"Alice!" I screeched, shocked.

"C'mon, Bella – we established a long time ago that I was no angel, so just put the damn thing on and stop complaining."

I tried it on and, the shy blush aside, I had to admit that I felt pretty sexy. Alice absolutely beamed with pride. "Can I come over tomorrow to help you get ready? I know exactly what to do with your hair and make-up to make that outfit pop."

I laughed at her. "Please, because I'm pretty sure I have nothing in my arsenal of make-up to make this face match this outfit."

"Yay!" She clapped excitedly before lunging at me with another strangle-hold.

What the hell was I getting myself in to?

ooo (*O*) ooo

On the twelfth day since I told Edward we were through, Alice came over to my house around four o'clock to help me get ready. That seemed a little drastic, considering I didn't have to be at his place until seven, but Alice assured me that we needed the time.

I didn't appreciate the insinuation behind that, but I let it slide.

We stayed in my bedroom, away from any mirrors, so I can't say that I know exactly what she was doing the entire time but, to her credit, she did stay busy for two and a half hours primping, pampering, styling, etc.

We both jumped when my cell phone chimed around 6:30. "I hope you don't mind, but the streets are bad today, so I've sent someone to pick you up. They should be pulling up shortly."

I sighed in exasperation – my silly, overprotective Edward strikes again. Alice, on the other hand, swooned and mocked passing out on top of my bed. I swatted her on the thigh. "Unless I'm done with the royal treatment, you outta get back to work. No telling when the armored tank will pull up outside." I teased.

She studiously went back to work for about five minutes more before announcing that her masterpiece was complete, following me into the bathroom to get my immediate reaction.

_Holy hell, I looked hot!_

I didn't recognize myself at all! My eyes were done up with a dramatic smoky look, rimmed in black with silver and metallic accents. My lips were painted in a shiny, dusty rose color that made them look extremely kissable, and Alice assured me that the color would last all night, though I would need to reapply the gloss that she had slipped into my bag. My hair was done up into a lazy bun, one black chopstick stabbed through the mess with random curls hanging down to frame my face and tickle my neck and shoulders. My earrings were a set of slender, dainty silver chains that hung down at different lengths and the high halter top of the dress ensured that I didn't need any kind of necklace.

She raced out excitedly before jumping back into the room. "The final touch." She said as she held the pumps out to me.

I slipped them on one by one, amazed by how comfortable they were, despite their intimidating appearance. One sideways turn revealed exactly what I had been expecting. My slender ass was now pushed out in a way that made it look absolutely voluptuous, and the heels made me arch my back so that my small breasts appeared more pronounced.

"Damn, Bella! _ I_ almost wanna do you!" Alice squeaked, causing me to crack up laughing, shaking loose a couple more tendrils from my bun.

A horn blared from below, alerting me that my ride was there. The two of us took off, pushing past each other as we raced from the bathroom, back to my bedroom to look out through the window. Stretched across my front yard was a black limousine, complete with a driver standing by the back door, his gloved hand resting on the door handle, ready for my arrival.

"Holy Shit! He sent you a limo!" Alice exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"Holy Shit! He sent me a limo!" I repeated, looking at her before the two of us broke into a fit of childish giggles.

"Go, go, go!" She scooted me out the door, snatching my clutch from the bed and shoving it into my arms, shooing me all the way down the stairs. "Have fun and do all kinds of things that would get me in trouble if my parents found out!"

I turned around and hugged her, feeling just a little like Cinderella on her way to the ball. "Thanks, Alice!"

"Don't thank me, silly – thank that boyfriend of yours!" She chided as she literally pried my arms off of her and pushed me out the door.

"Miss Swan." The chauffeur greeted me as he pulled open the door. "I apologize for the horn, but no one responded when I knocked on the door."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that – I was upstairs." I bumbled.

"Please ma'am, no apologies necessary. Please enjoy the ride and let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

I wrapped my hands behind my butt, trying to keep my dress down as I slid into the seat. "What's your name?" I asked.

"Taylor, ma'am." He smiled politely with a tip of his hat.

"Thank you, Taylor. I'm Bella." I smiled up at him.

"Very well, Bella. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes sir." I responded, biting my lip as I was unsure if I should be tipping him or something.

"Very well. Let us be on our way – I've been informed that there is a young gentleman very anxiously waiting to see you." He smiled, appearing amused at the two desperate lovers he was about to reunite.

Once he closed the door, I turned around, gasping as I inspected the inside of the limo. At the other end of the limo was a huge teddy bear dressed like Santa Claus. In his arms was a stunning bouquet of red roses, bound with a red and green plaid bow. The floor of the limo was filled with red and green balloons and smelled distinctly of…_strawberries and cream._

I looked at the intimidating instrument panel located above my head until I found the button that appeared to lower the glass partition that separated Taylor and I. "Um, Taylor? I'm sorry to bother you, but I've never been in a limo before and I don't really know how to work anything. You're lucky I lowered the window instead of blowing up the car, actually." I joked, trying to hide my embarrassment.

Taylor laughed, peering at me through the rearview mirror. "Actually, Mr. Cullen requested we have the '_blow-up-the-car' _button removed for just that reason, Miss." He teased.

He was sarcastic. That instantly made me feel right at home. "Okay, smart ass, then it would appear you removed the '_turn-on-the-music'_ button too!" I laughed.

His eyes crinkled as I noticed him fidgeting with something on the dashboard. "I believe Mr. Cullen has a special request for you….Aw, here it is."

I instantly recognized the introduction to Eartha Kit's "Santa Baby".

"How's that, Bella?" He called out from the driver's seat.

"Perfect, Taylor. Absolutely perfect."

We pulled up outside of the Cullen home before the song had come to its conclusion. My door opened and I reached without looking to take Taylor's hand so that I wouldn't fall on my way out, except when I looked up to thank him, it was Edward's vibrant green eyes that I saw. The beauty of his face knocked the wind right out of me, making my knees go weak.

"Whoa, steady." He said as I fell against him, his arms winding around me protectively.

His proximity made it even harder to regain my balance, but I was eventually able to stand on my own two feet once again. Taylor made his way over to us and Edward reached out to shake his hand. "Thanks a lot. I appreciate it." It was clear to me that no money exchanged hands.

Taylor clapped Edward on the shoulder. "Anytime. Good luck." He turned to me with a mischievous grin and a nod of his head. "It was a pleasure, Bella."

"The pleasure was all mine." I replied with a smile. As Taylor made his way back towards the front, I leaned forward to whisper "Are we supposed to tip him?"

Edward laughed and, although it made me slightly self-conscious for my ignorance on the matter, it was still a welcome sound. I had forgot how giddy his laughter made me.

"Remember the two boys who cuddled up beside you at the hospital? Taylor's son was the older one. When he heard what I had planned, he wanted to help so that he could meet the girl his son was in love with." He chuckled when my eyes widened in surprise. "You seem to have made quite the impact."

The intensity of his gaze was making me a little nervous, so I quickly looked for a distraction.

"Oh, the stuff!" I yelped, turning around to climb back into the limo for the teddy bear and roses.

Edward immediately came up behind me, his hands on my waist as he pulled me back against him. Although it was entirely inappropriate, I couldn't help but notice that my heels raised my backside so that it was at the perfect height to rub against his groin.

"Don't worry about that – Taylor will get it." I stood up, instantly panting at the contact between us, my face flushed and my temples dewy with nervous anticipation.

He leaned down, his ears brushing softly against my earlobe as I swallowed nervously. "As delicious as you look in this dress, you might want to be a little more careful about bending over, Bella." He slid his hands off my waist and over my hips until he was gripping the hem of my dress, tugging it back down into place. It was only then that I realized how very high up it had traveled in my hurry to get the teddy bear.

I swallowed again, this time choking down my embarrassment.

The evening started out innocent enough. Carlisle and Esme greeted me as if nothing had ever happened and Lizzie was just as excited to see me as always.

"You look like a princess!" She complimented, and I smiled, very careful to keep my dress pulled down as I knelt to talk to her. "Except, my princesses' dresses are always long and yours is really short."

Edward chuckled by my side, offering me his hand to help me get up from the precarious position I was balancing in. Up until this point in time, it had been suggestive glances and subtle touches, but now, he wound his arm around my waist and pulled me tightly against his side, leaning over to whisper in my ear once again. "She's right. Have I told you how absolutely stunning you look tonight?"

I gulped, grabbing and straightening his tie for a distraction. "Well, you don't clean up too badly yourself." He was wearing the pressed black slacks and starched white shirt from my dream, but had yet to forego his regular black boots and leather jacket. He was my Santa…my rebel…just playing dress up for New Year's Eve.

We parted ways as the party picked up, mixing and mingling with the crowd. He made sure to play polite host to the various neighbors and family in attendance as I greeted and chatted idly with the people I was surprised to see there – namely Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet and Aro.

"Yeah, I'm thinking of getting out of the Santa photography business and starting a matchmaking service instead. Hell, look how well I did with you kids without even trying!" Aro teased.

Edward wound his way over to me when the temperature dropped dramatically; alerting me to his presence as he silently slipped his jacket over my trembling shoulders. "Want to go inside and warm up?" He whispered.

I nodded, noticing for the first time that my teeth were starting to chatter.

We stopped and chatted with people we passed along the way, eventually making it to the privacy of his bedroom. Once he shut the door, I noticed that the teddy bear and roses were now perched near the head of his bed and the room was alight in the glow of two dozen or so candles. I stepped into the room, approaching one of the candles to find that it illuminated a framed picture of the two of us taken at a traveling carnival. Another candle lit a photo of him holding me proudly on graduation day. Photo by photo, picture by picture detailed the journey we had taken to get to this point together.

I spun around to find that he was right behind me. He stepped forward, taking my face in his hands, his thumb gently teasing at my quivering bottom lip. "You were silly to think I'd just let you go without a fight – you know that, right?" I nodded, willing the tears away.

"It doesn't matter, though. You have to go to Paris, Edward. You have to take that internship. Even if you can live with the what-if's, I can't stand by your side wondering if I held you back."

He wrapped his arms around me, crushing me to his chest. "We should have talked about it – tried to figure it out. What were you thinking, pulling away from me like that?"

I hugged him fiercely, his shirt soaking in my warm, salty tears as they fell. "You wouldn't have listened to me. I thought - if I could make you believe it was over - that you would go. I don't ever want to hold you back. I thought it was the only way…"

He grabbed my upper arms and pulled away from me to look into my face. "And if the situation was reversed, would it have worked on you? Would you have just let things end between us like that and run off to Paris?"

I had never thought of it that way. If I knew, as he knew, that he was still in love with me, I would have clung even tighter to him, no matter how hard he tried to push me away.

He laughed as he saw the dawn of realization spread across my face. "You get it now, don't you?" I nodded, my lips trembling with new tears as I realized what a waste of time it had all been. All the heartache and misery for nothing when we were bound to end up back in eachother's arms, no matter what.

He intertwined our fingers, pulling me over to his bed so that we could sit down, side by side and hand in hand. "I'll wait for you, you know? I'll wait for you as long as you want me to. But, if you go over there and…and..." I couldn't get the words out. "…and you decide that you don't want me anymore, I'll understand – I promise, I won't hold it against you." The words came out in a strangled whisper.

He pushed his index finger against my lips, silencing me. "What if you don't have to wait? What if…what if we don't have to be apart?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I sent Riley my portfolio and, he was interested in one of my models. Asked me if I would give him her information because he was interested in getting in touch with her." He gulped, obviously nervous. "He wants you to model for him."

My eyes shot wide. "I'm not a model!"

"I told him you'd say that, but he says he'd beg to differ. He wanted to offer you a one year paid contract and, it pays really, _really_ well. At the end of the year, it's up to you if you want to renegotiate, or you can just take your earnings and we'll come back here and you'll have more than enough money to pay for college. You'll even be able to afford tuition for the state university, if you still want to go there."

My head was swimming. Me? A model in Paris? _It was crazy!_

"You told me, if I wanted you back, I had to make this work, Bella. You insist that I go and, I can't do it without you. You're right…maybe I'm scared…absolutely frightened…but the thing that scares me the most is having to spend another stupid day without you. If anything, this little stunt of yours only proved to me that that is not an existence worth living for me. So, there's my answer. Together in Paris or together at home, but together nonetheless. That's the best I've got."

I gulped. Together at home wasn't an option for me, because that would only rob him of his chance. But a year in Paris? As a model? That was never a future I imagined for myself.

But what was the point in arguing it? His choices were clear, and there was only one choice I could live with. We'd figure the rest out _together._

"When do we leave?" I asked.

His eyes shot wide, his mouth open in the most amazing, adoring smile I had ever seen. "_Really_?"

I nodded, instantly infected by his happiness.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, spinning me around excitedly as I squealed in delight.

When he placed me back on my feet, the atmosphere shifted around us – becoming suddenly heavier and heated. "If you had any idea how much I loved you…" he said, stroking my brows and temples, "you never would have tried that."

I sighed in exasperation. "If you have any idea how much I love you, you'd understand why I had to try."

His hands wandered over my bare back as he pulled me flush against his body, leaning down, teasing his lips over my temples and eyelids – brushing them softly against my mouth without applying any pressure. "You hurt me, Bella. Left me in agony for days while I wondered if you were ever going to figure out that we're meant to be together." His lips whispered along my jaw and over my throat.

"It was suicide, Edward. I killed myself a little more each day, knowing you loved me and trying to stay away from you for your own good. But I'd do it again…if I honestly thought you'd be better off without me…I'd die for you." A second later, his lips crashed against mine, making me forget all about the agony of the twelve days I had spent without him by my side.

Our tongues twisted together and no sugar coated candy had ever tasted as sweet. I wound his tie around my hand, tugging him closer still as his hands slipped down my back, his fingers teasing beneath the low cut fabric so that his hands could slide low over my ass, pulling me to him fervently.

I loosened his tie, reaching beneath the knot to undo the button of his collar before working my way down. Just as I reached the third button or so, he grabbed my wrists to still me. My mind screamed out _No_ as I looked up into his eyes, begging him not to pull away…but the look on his face was different this time.

Hungry_. _

_Carnal._

He released my wrists and grabbed his shirt, buttons scattering as he tore it open the rest of the way. I gasped as he grabbed my wrists once again, placing my hands against his chest. "Touch me, Bella." He husked, his desire eating away at me, lust saturating my senses. "No holding back."

I clawed at his shirt, tearing it back off of his arms as my hands wandered over the dips and valleys of his muscular shoulders and back. He brought his hands up to the back of my neck, fidgeting with the halter until I could feel the clasps give way – the front falling limp between us. I stepped back, my eyes burning coals as I held the dress in place, wanting to see his face as I revealed my body to him for the first time. I expected to be shy and nervous…but knowing that he wanted me as badly as I had always wanted him made all the fear and worry disappear.

He ran his hands soothingly up and down my arms as I stared into his eyes, waiting to see that he was ready. In one swift movement, I released my dress, feeling the smooth material skim over my body as it pooled at my feet. His eyes held mine for a moment before slowly traveling down my body. My skin broke out in goosebumps beneath his lingering gaze, my nipples pebbling the moment his green eyes landed on them. He growled, a feral sound I had never heard before as he lowered his head to my breasts, taking my peak into his mouth for the very first time.

His hands splayed across my lower back as I arched into his greedy mouth, my fingers digging into his hair, clinging to him desperately as his tongue flicked over the sensitive flesh. "Don't stop, Edward…_please_ don't stop…" I moaned unabashedly.

He stood up to look into my flushed face, green fire scorching my exposed skin as he reached up with one hand to pull the chopstick from my hair, letting my mahogany curls cascade over my shoulders and tickle my back. "So beautiful." He whispered as his fingers weaved into my hair, bending me backwards so that he could suck and nip along my throat and collar bone.

I clung to the back of his shoulders, my nails scraping lightly as I struggled to pull myself closer still. He dipped me farther back, taking my other peak tentatively between his teeth and rolling his tongue around it as my hand wandered around his waistband to the button of his slacks. With the button and zipper undone, I felt his pants loosen and slipped my fingers under the waistband of both, pushing the material down his long thighs.

We stumbled slightly as he kicked off his shoes and then used his toes to push his pants down the rest of the way. My hand reached down between us, grabbing him fully and squeezing gently, loving the way he moaned and pulsed at my touch. Using my grip as leverage, I pulled slightly, coaxing him to press his body deliriously against mine.

He kissed and nipped at my skin as he lowered himself down my body. He licked between my breasts and kissed my navel, making my knees go weak when he dipped his tongue in slightly. "Bella, Bella, Bella" he chanted as his hands wandered down my sides, his fingers wrapping around the sides of the dainty, black lace panties as he knelt before me.

"Take me Edward." I crooned, my entire body on fire. "Take me _now._"

He yanked with all his might and my panties split apart, the shredded pieces fluttering to the ground as he stood, lifting me and carrying me over to his bed. He sat me on the edge and I reached out for his tie, pulling him to me, afraid I might wake up if I let him wander too far away.

He lowered himself beside the bed, sliding his hands down my inner thighs to part my knees, opening me up before him. I moaned and writhed beneath his touch as he kissed his way up my thighs, blowing lightly on my moist center. He lowered his head at the apex of my thighs, looking up at me from beneath his lashes reverently as he inhaled. "_Strawberries and cream" _he whispered before diving in like a vampire about to feast. My body exploded as he placed his mouth on me for the very first time, exploring me with his tongue, fingers and lips. "_Fucking strawberries and cream"_ he murmured as I watched his bronze hair sway with the motion of his loving. I fisted my hand in that outrageous hair of his, holding him to me as my hips undulated back and forth, starving for the release he was trying to supply.

"Ungh…yes baby! Yes!" I gasped as my body convulsed beneath his ministrations.

He knelt on the floor at my feet as I slowly floated back down into my body, once again aware of the family and friends gathered outside. I felt like a newborn, seeing the world for the first time – trying to understand the sights, sounds and smells that surrounded me but not being able to grasp anything but _him._ He was _here, _with _me…loving _me_._

I looked down to find him still kneeling beside the bed, looking at me with a mixture of worry, fear and lust. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I smiled, sitting up to caress his face. "That was extraordinary." I breathed, my heart still racing.

"We don't have to…" he let the word hang there as he gulped. I traced my fingers down his jaw and below his chin, working my fingertips downward until I could grip his tie. I wound it once around my hand before I started pulling it, using it to draw him towards me.

"I want you Edward." I pulled him enough so that he had to raise himself on his knees to kiss my lips. I hummed, licking his lips clean when I realized I could taste myself there. The combination of our flavors was intoxicating. "Don't you want me?" I whispered in his ear, tugging a little more on the tie so that he was now gripping the edge of the mattress on both sides of my knees.

"Yes, Bella. Always." He husked, his eyes growing black with desire as I pulled him farther up my body.

"Take me, Edward. Don't stop." I pulled more until he had climbed up onto the bed on top of me, his body rising slowly between my legs as I could feel more and more of his weight.

"Are you sure, Bella?" He asked, concern still tainting the lust in his voice.

I released his tie to cup his face in my hands, looking deeply into his emerald green eyes. "You and I are going to be together forever, Edward. I know it. I don't want to wait another moment for our forever to begin." I took his hand, causing more of his weight to press deliciously against me, and brought his fingers to my temple. "You're here, in every thought I think." I moved his hand down to my chest, wondering if he could feel the pounding of my heart beneath my breast. "You're here – every heartbeat is for you." With that, I slipped our hands down between us until I could feel his fingers grazing my wet heat. "Now I want you here. I want to feel you inside of me. It's the only thing left I have to give, and it's yours."

His breathing grew ragged as his reached further down, slipping his fingers between my lips and sliding amidst the moisture he found there. He leaned down, his breath foggy on my ear and throat. "I can still taste you, Bella. So sweet…so perfect." His tongue lashed out at my ear and I shivered. He moved his thumb to the top of my sex and moved it in small circles, zeroing in when my body tensed, letting him know that he had found my clit.

"It's gonna hurt, baby." He whispered as his fingers continued their blind exploration. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It will only hurt for a moment, but I want you, and the wanting is hurting me far worse. It will get better, Edward…but this aching for you…it's not going to go away." He slipped one finger in between my folds and I gasped at the foreign feeling before my mind wrapped around the idea that I was taking him in, one small piece at a time.

"Does that feel good?" He asked, slipping his finger slowly in and out while his thumb continued its gentle dance.

"Yes, Edward…so good." I moaned, too caught up in the sensations he was giving me to remember to be embarrassed.

He slipped a second finger in and moved them in and out together, separating them slightly so that I could feel myself stretching around him. "How about now, Bella…"

"God, yes Edward…ungh…please don't stop…" My body began undulating in waves, my hips pulsing against his hand as I attempted to find a rhythm.

"I'm going to marry you someday, Bella. I'm gonna make you my wife. And then, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make you this happy again and again."

"Everyone get together! It's almost midnight!" The partygoers shouted from outside, oblivious to our little rendezvous.

"Yes Edward! I'm going to spend forever loving you, just like this!" I crooned as my body began rocking feverishly against him.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" They shouted from below.

"I love you, Bella…" His voice strained.

"Seven! Six! Five!"

"I love you too, Edward…with all of my heart…" I struggled as the pleasure threatened to take me under.

"Four! Three!"

Suddenly, he withdrew his hand and, before I knew it, I could feel his length slide within me in one swift thrust.

"Ungh!" We gasped together.

There was pain – in many ways, worse than I had expected – on the other hand, I was too far into the throws of my orgasm for it to stop, so there was pleasure too as cries of "Happy New Year!" and the notes of Auld Lang Syne could be heard drifting in through his bedroom walls.

He thrust twice more within me before collapsing on top of me, thoroughly spent. He rolled over, quickly pulling me to him so that I could rest my head upon the flat planes of his heated chest, his heart pounding against my cheek. He reached over with his other hand, smoothing the tangled hair from my sweaty skin as he peppered my face with sweet, tender kisses.

We sat there, lost in the moment until the fervor and excitement of the New Year quietly died down outside. I crossed my arms over his chest and rolled over flat on my stomach. "I just took you inside of my body, Edward. You were literally inside of me. Do you get how huge that is?"

His mouth pulled up into a crooked smile and I could immediately tell where his thoughts were headed. "Okay, Cullen…get your mind out of the gutter." He chuckled before tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I meant it, when I said I was going to marry you someday. You know that, right?" He looked down at me, his eyes radiating warmth, satisfaction and love.

"Oh, my Eddie…of course I know. Though, I'm pretty sure your mom may have figured it out before either of us." He laughed and prompted me to sit up before reaching over to grab something off of his nightstand.

"Well then, since we're in agreement, I don't suppose you'd mind wearing this for a while…just until we make it official." He popped open a tiny, black velvet box revealing a tasteful diamond solitaire set in a dainty white gold ring.

"Are you asking me to marry you, Edward Cullen?"

"Actually, I thought we just kind of skipped that part." He teased, but blushed at the same time.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing him with all of my might, relishing the way the hardened, flat planes of his chest felt against all of my soft curves. "The answer is yes, my Eddie. It's always been yes."

So it was, in the first minutes of the year 2011 that I finally gave mind, body and soul to Edward Cullen – my savage Santa, shy rebel, and soul mate, all in one.

**_A/N: For those of you who have asked, yes - there are two shout-outs to Icy and her stunning "Master of the Universe". The limo driver was inspired by Fifty's head security officer and, although I didn't do it intentionally, the silver dress that Bella wears to the New Year's Eve party is eerily reminiscent of the silver dress Alice convinced Bella to buy in the MOTU update I had read the day before. I've never made any secret of the fact that I want to be Icy when I grow up. lol_**

_**A/N: On the twelfth day of Christmas my readers gave to me: joy that Bella's cumming, a break from all this typing, a leather jacket for safekeeping, smutty romancing, a word that rhymes with "Milking" (Know what? Never mind…), a Christmas tree and trimmings, Edward flirting and playing, Naughty Santa Dreams! Many happy words, sexy Cullen men, gratitude and love, and reviews that fill me with glee…**_

_**Here's wishing you all a safe, happy, healthy and prosperous New Year! Thanks for making 2010 one of my very best years! Smooches to ya'll!**_


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